If you can win in a relationship, no one wants to lose.
But from the moment you like each other, it means that between you, there will often be a winner and a loser.
There is a saying that goes like this: Whoever moves the feelings first loses.
In the process of intercourse between men and women, this sentence is true and helpless; after all, the things of life can be forced, but the things of feelings are things that you cannot force.
Recently a boy left me a message, the boy said: with a girl blind date, the first glance like this girl, so did not send a message to the girl to chat, but every day to send dozens of messages to the girl, the girl only replied to a few.
The boy asked, "Does she really have a crush on me?" I like her a lot, I don't know if there is a chance? ”
In fact, the winning or losing of feelings has the answer in your heart from the beginning, but you have been reluctant to admit it.
Girls are different from boys, boys don't like a person, often directly reject, do not care about her face.
Girls will have reservations, not direct refusal, but to retain the dignity of boys, preferring to give boys some hints rather than bluntly reject a boy's pursuit.
So, when girls don't like you, what hints will they give to boys?
First, it is a "second to reply to the message" to others, and it is "to see the mood to reply to the message" for you.
First, let's think about it in a different way and restore a scene.
Two people send you WeChat at the same time, one is a friend who has a good relationship with you, and the other is someone who wants to borrow money from you.
In the face of these two messages, most people will choose to reply to a close friend first, and the other message often does not reply directly, but thinks hard before deciding whether to reply.
This already shows a problem: the estrangement of the relationship, the degree of emotional intimacy, and the purpose of the other party to chat with you will affect the speed and attitude with which we reply to a person's message.
There is a phenomenon on the Internet: find someone else to chat, don't say "is it", there is something to say, after all, the other party does not know whether you want to borrow money.
It sounds funny after all, but it is true in reality.
Especially if a person who is not very familiar with the relationship suddenly asks you "in or out", how do you respond?
If you reply and he throws out a request that you can't accept, you don't know how to refuse.
Therefore, only by choosing silence and waiting for the other party to say the next words can we decide whether to respond.
When the sexes are interacting, the speed at which the girl responds to your messages shows how important you are in her mind.
She replies to good friends, replies to important people in her heart, often "seconds back to the message", as long as she sees, she must respond.
But in the face of you, she selectively replied to the message, often chatting and chatting for days and then "disappeared".
It is commonly known as "look at the mood reply".
In fact, this performance of the girl is a very blunt hint: she does not like you, at least your position in her heart is not enough for her to reply to your message in a second.
In the face of such a situation, the best thing for boys to do is to selectively forget and take the initiative to stop giving.
A guy who doesn't like you, and you message her too much, will only exacerbate her antipathy towards you.
Second, refuse to date, refuse gifts, refuse to approach
A female reader left me a message, her daughter is 18 years old and has just gone to college.
And this female reader often tells her daughter's truth: "When you meet a boy you don't like, if he gives you a gift, don't accept it easily; once you accept his gift, he is prone to confusion in his heart, thinking that you have given him a chance." ”
In fact, I especially recognize the mother's approach and the way she educates her children.
After all, for a girl who is not deeply involved in the world and her feelings are almost blank, they do not know how to get along with the opposite sex, and it is easy to be deceived by the rhetoric of the opposite sex.
And for a girl with three views, mature mind, and enough reason, they don't like you, then they won't accept your gift no matter what.
When you give her a gift, she often refuses to accept it; even if she is forced to accept your gift, she will find a way to return it to you with a gift of equal value.
Faced with your date invitation, she will only turn you down.
The closer you get to her, the more she will stay away from you.
One goes forward, one keeps going backwards.
In everyone's subconscious, there is actually a "safe distance".
This safe distance is the distance kept from strangers and people they don't trust and dislike.
Only by keeping herself at a safe distance from the other person can she feel safe in her heart; once you get closer and have entered her safe distance, then she will feel uneasy, anxious, and even try to resist and flee.
So, the boy should be self-aware, if she rejects you again and again, why do you insist on it?
Third, in the face of girls' rejection, boys should learn to "stop loss in time"
There are too many examples of "not hitting the south wall and not turning back".
Boys should retain their last sanity in their feelings and not let themselves be too embarrassed.
Like what:
Boys can set a deadline for themselves to pursue girls within this period of time, and if they still fail to pursue, they will choose to give up.
According to your own ability to bear, pursue her for 1 month, 3 months or half a year.
In this time, don't worry, as an ordinary friend relationship gradually get along with each other; after determining that the girl is willing to trust you, gradually deepen the understanding and then go to confess to the girl.
If at this stage, the confession still fails, then choose to give up.
At least you've tried, pursued, and left no regrets.
What should be done has been done, the other party just doesn't like you, so what can be done?
The girl you like is excellent, beautiful, and smart, but don't let yourself be humbled to dust.
Your reluctance is something she hates in her eyes; your effort, in her opinion, is pressure; your liking, in her opinion, is not needed.
She's really good, but you're not bad either.
Therefore, the pursuit of people you like, don't always force yourself to the end of the road, can only say that you are not suitable for each other.
Today's Topic:
How long does it take to pursue someone you like without results, and will you give up?