I don't know if you have found that whether it is the recently promulgated policies or the many suggestions of the deputies to the two sessions, the spearhead points to the target of "encouraging fertility".
Why?
According to the results of the seventh census, an increase of 72.06 million people or 5.38% compared with ten years ago.
China's fertility rate is too low. Why do more and more people not want to have babies?
The inability to afford the rising costs of parenting is one of the important reasons.
▲The budget table of the cost of raising a baby circulated on the Internet in the first two years
Looking back at our previous generation, raising children is like herding sheep, and it is a matter of pride to be able to finish college, why are parents so involved so much now?
Is the "inner volume" of participating in education an inevitable part of the times or are we wrong?
In fact, instead of telling parents what to do, it is better to understand the intrinsic motivation and external forces behind their behavior to face up to and alleviate anxiety.
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The way we are parented has undergone tremendous changes.
In recent years, the degree of anxiety of parents about their children's education and the pressure of "involution" are obvious to all, and "tiger mothers" and "helicopter/snow shovel parents" are emerging in an endless stream.
According to Mathius DePuck and Fabrizio Ziliboti, professors of economics at Northwestern University and Yale University, parenting is largely a product of economic inequality.
Using the principles of economics and integrating large amounts of data from multiple disciplines, they studied and explained how economic incentives and constraints affect parenting practices in different countries and what is the best parenting method, culminating in the book Love, Money, and Children – Parenting Economics.
The book states that the original intention of parents to raise a child is to hope that the child can be happy. But before making a decision, you need to consider the issue of "constraints".
First and foremost are "budget constraints" — limited funding that can limit parents from sending their children to the best private schools or buying the latest clothes and toys.
There are also constraints of a non-financial nature, such as time and ability.
Economists believe that people basically optimize their behavior in order to achieve their goals, such as choosing how to parenting.
In psychology, parenting styles are mainly divided into four types: laissez-faire, authoritarian, arbitrary and neglectful.
Among them, both authoritative and arbitrary are intensive parenting methods, which tend to intervene in children's choices according to their own values, but the difference is:
Authority parents tend to shape their children's values and preferences through their own soft power, using charisma, attraction, and subtle communication rather than coercion.
Arbitrary parents often use coercive methods to make their children meet their own requirements, prohibit their children from behaving, or deny their children's choices.
According to empirical studies listed in the book, children of authoritative parents perform better in school than children in other parenting styles.
At present, authoritative parenting is the most common parenting method in China, and urban families are more likely to choose authoritative parenting than rural families.
It is worth noting that the parenting style of Chinese parents has undergone a huge change after the reform and opening up.
The childhood of the post-70s and post-80s generations is mostly spent in outdoor games such as slingshots, stone chess, jumping bands, hide-and-seek, but they choose intensive parenting methods in the face of their children.
The trend of changing parenting styles is not only happening in China, but also in education, which is a global phenomenon.
The six countries shown in the chart saw a significant increase in parental care time between 1975 and 2011, illustrating the increasing favor of intensive parenting.
The number of hours per week spent by mothers and fathers in 6 countries on childcare
For a long time, the unrestrained American child was the envy of his Chinese peers.
However, according to the data, the younger generation of Americans began to stay up late to read books and brush up on topics, and the degree of hardship was no less than that of China.
Why is the shift in parenting so universal?
Rising economic inequality and rising returns to education can be explained.
When the rate of return on education is higher and the economy is more unequal, the more likely it is that parents will adopt intensive parenting.
For example, in a society where dropouts earn only slightly less than doctors and engineers, parents will be more inclined to laissez-faire parenting. Because no matter how the child's academics are, they will not worry about the future work will be unable to make ends meet.
Conversely, in a society where education and effort are rewarded with high rewards, and where people with low levels of education struggle to live difficult lives, parents have a strong incentive to urge their children to choose intensive parenting.
Therefore, parents are in different socio-economic environments, which is an important driving force in parenting decisions.
It's not hard to see why the concepts of "tiger mom and tiger dad" and "helicopter parenting" have become popular over the past 30 years.
Economic equality determines the type of parenting values.
Remember the popular documentary "Childhood Elsewhere" in 2019?
In Finland, schools never take exams, and parents never have to fight for school district rooms and special classes.
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The best school is the one closest to home.
In Japan, on the other hand, the spirit of sharing is highly valued, which has a lot to do with the limited resources of their country.
In this book, the author argues that many of the parents' choices, which initially appear to be part of the local culture, ultimately come down to economic conditions.
To test this claim, they conducted a "World Values Survey" among parents in different countries (with roughly similar per capita incomes), covering a range of questions about the values that parents consider most important.
For example, "What are the most important qualities that parents think their children should learn at home?" ”
Options include "independence", "diligence", "responsibility", "imagination", "tolerance and respect for others", "frugality", "determination and perseverance", "religious belief", "selflessness and obedience", etc.
The results show that in countries with high economic inequalities, many parents place special emphasis on the importance of hard work.
For example, 90% of Chinese consider "hard work" and that they long for a good life in their children as adults, while diligence and perseverance are essential traits in their studies.
But this proportion is only 11%-17% in the Nordic countries (including Finland).
In countries with low inequalities, where returns to education are low, parents value independence and imagination more, and there is no reason to urge their children to work grades.
In Finland, for example, every child basically has a job to do when they become an adult, there is no utilitarianism, and it is possible to do what they like happily in school, and express their ideas rather than compete with others.
That is, when a country's economy becomes more unequal, parents with the same economic characteristics are less inclined to be laissez-faire and more authoritarian and, to some extent, more arbitrary.
Further, economic incentives can explain not only the shift in parenting styles in a country at different times, but also the differences in parenting choices that exist between different countries in the same era.
How to raise children well? In these anxious times.
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There is no one-size-fits-all textbook answer to raising children.
From an economist's point of view, each parenting style has its pros and cons.
Authoritative parenting can enhance the drive for personal success, but it can also hinder children's ability to think independently and develop their imagination.
In countries such as northern Europe, parental laissez-faire parenting makes children have excellent teamwork skills, but it also leads to a weaker sense of competition and reluctance to continue to work hard.
However, before we can choose which parenting style, we must also be aware of a cold truth. In an era of increasing competition, rising economic inequality, while affecting everyone, has the greatest impact on middle-class parents.
For parents at the top of society, rising inequality does not change the stakes in parenting.
Just like in the chicken baby drama "Little Shed", the two families of NanLi and Tian Yulan still tell the story of the elite class, adults are not bad for time and money, chicken babies and free-range breeding, only in a single thought, can adjust the strategy at any time.
For the families at the bottom, they lack the money, time, and ability necessary for intensive childcare, and they do not even have the right to anxiety.
However, for parents in the middle class, choosing intensive parenting or laissez-faire may have a large difference in results.
Perhaps, this is the root cause of the anxiety and infighting of middle-class parents in the mainland today.
But I would say that as a parent, if you are caught up in this parenting war, you don't have to be too harsh on yourself.
Out of concern for the future life of children, we are committed to providing children with high-quality learning and life resources, which is an important way to release "inner anxiety" and gain a sense of security.
It should be noted that appropriate anxiety will promote the growth of yourself and your child, but if you are lost in excessive anxiety, you will be exhausted on the wrong road of seeking security, and you will not see yourself or your child.
Therefore, instead of fighting anxiety, it is better to see where it comes from and why it is so, and learn to reconcile with children and the times while bravely admitting that you are imperfect.
As for what the future holds?
We firmly believe that as the economy continues to grow, per capita income continues to rise, and once a certain node is crossed, social welfare gradually increases, and economic inequality will slowly decline.
The grandeur of the full "inner volume" may be declining, and parents will gradually tend to adopt a laissez-faire parenting style.
At that time, it will be the "paradise" for most children to release their nature. END