Wen | Wen'er
It is said that marriage is like a person drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge. Most marriages have an element of pretense, for others to see. What is inside, only the parties know it.
Good marriages are similar, nothing more than equality between husband and wife. Mutual understanding and respect, husband and wife love, family harmony. Such a marriage is envied by others, and the couples in it also feel the help and growth brought by a happy marriage to each other. Unfortunate marriages have their own misfortunes, others see only the tip of the iceberg, and the dark tide below can only be felt by the husband and wife. And if the marriage is not good, the two people will consume each other, and one of them must have a very depressed life.
Due to the difference in the personality of men and women and the division of labor in the family, women are more depressed in marriage. Although this kind of suffocating marriage may be the woman's encounter with the inhuman, many of them are also caused by the woman's own personality. Most of the women who have lived in marriage have the following characteristics and cannot complain about anyone.
Flattering personality
Probably because women's feelings are more delicate, they value the family more. I have found that once a woman enters marriage, she automatically becomes a flattering personality, placing her position particularly low, not knowing how to love herself, but doing her best to please her partner.
Their idea is that if I please him more, he will love me more, I can get more love, and I will be more valuable in the family. But what they don't know is that giving in and currying favor again and again in marriage is equivalent to offering a man a sword to hurt himself with both hands, so that he has no scruples to hurt you. Under the flattery of women, men will only gain inches, and women are too expensive to sink in the flattery again and again, and they are accustomed to such a model and will not divorce easily. In this way, you can only live a very depressed life in marriage. So, women have to love themselves more at all times.
Pay-giving physique
There are also some women, once married, switch themselves to waiters, dedicate themselves wholeheartedly to their other half and family, and constantly worry about whether family members are satisfied. When encountering grateful customers, such women can also gain a certain amount of respect and family status in marriage and family.
But human nature is very cheap, especially in marriage, women incarnate as low-voiced waiters, do what men ask, and expect men to give themselves five-star praise. Many men feel that they are customers on high, make various requests to the waiter, and start to shake their faces when they do not meet their wishes. So in this kind of marriage, the woman is more and more condescending, and the man is getting higher and higher.
Women have to love themselves and always put themselves first. Even if we are a waiter, we have to take care of our mood. Endure breast hyperplasia for a while, take a step back from uterine fibroids, and good health is the most important, so it is not a big deal to shoot two.
Hidden patience style
Another biggest trait of women who have lived a miserable life in marriage is that they can act in a particularly tolerant manner. Extremely tolerant of the mistakes and perfunctory mistakes of the other half, do not know how to refuse, and are also tolerant of things that involve their own principles and bottom lines, it can be said that many women have no edges and bottom lines in marriage.
You say how such women get happiness in marriage. Women must have their own abilities and really have to be self-reliant. I can choose to tolerate, but not because of cowardice, and I can also choose to refuse, because I can't give in when I touch the bottom line. But no matter how happy you are at this moment, no matter how wonderful you are, you must not sink into dependence and lose your ability to be wonderful, then when you really encounter the test of fate, how do you take your child out of another path? Women, must have their own ability to win, that life choice, always in you.
Do you have any of these qualities? 】
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles, welcome to pay attention to [Little Fart Baby], you want to know about family education, mental health, child development, fashion education, you can find the answer here!