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【Night Dream Talk, Little Dream Listening】: The whole network has the same name, welcome to pay attention, reprint please authorize, plagiarism must be investigated! Looking forward to your story.
Zhihu saw a question: "What did I do wrong to make the people around me reject my existence so much?" “
The person who asked the question was a student, and he had been unable to understand why the people around him always formed small groups inexplicably, and he was always redundant.
Even though he had obviously made a lot of adjustments to try to join them, he would still be the one who was excluded.
In fact, in the process of everyone's growth, it is very likely that there is such a process, but the problem is not in you.
1. It's really hard for anyone to understand you
There is a case in "Star Detective" that mentions the friendship between He Suo, played by He Jiong, and Sadeb, played by Sabine.
These two people, in fact, are mathematical wizards, and they have not been understood by the people around them because of their superior mathematical talents since childhood.
Even, many people regard them as monsters, unsociable and irrational beings, and because of this, they hurt them and exclude them from the group.
Once, they also doubted whether there was something wrong with themselves that caused all their peers to dislike themselves, and even hate themselves.
It wasn't until the two of them met that they understood that many times, it wasn't that they weren't good enough, but because they were high and widowed.
Some people, destined to reach a certain age, will meet a more suitable person or group, will be accepted.
And before that, he had to endure long periods of solitude, like Alice the whale, which was not silent, but its wavelength was different from all whales.
Therefore, enduring loneliness and not being accepted is sometimes an ability that people must have, after all, not all people can identify with and accept you.
2. You always have to get used to being lonely
Because of the previous special period, there was a lot of time that could not go out, and at the beginning, it would feel very lonely and boring.
Also try chatting online with friends to buy a bunch of things that aren't so necessary. However, when everything was over, I found that all that was left was an empty wallet and more loneliness.
It was precisely because of this realization that I began to read some books that I had been interested in in the past, whether it was literati masterpieces, social knowledge, or just a short essay.
When I looked at a certain amount of accumulation, I suddenly found that in fact, many things in this world are not as impetuous as we think.
Nowadays, most people live an impetuous life, want too much, get too little, complain too much, meet too little, and even gradually form a vicious circle.
However, those impetuousness and resentment did not bring anything to people, but only blindly consumed people's time.
I remember a quote from Entertain to Death: "The last few days have stopped, but there is hope in disappointment." Everyone has suffering, but some people know how to remember suffering and then become their motivation. “
Loneliness and pain are themselves the norm of life, and even more often, people who value more, how people face and treat these things.
You can't ask the world to be noisy all the time, your life will eventually have a silent day, and before that, you always have to learn how to face everything that is about to happen.
3. Mostly born lonely
I once heard a saying: "Mediocre people fill the emptiness with hilarity, and excellent people achieve themselves in loneliness." “
No matter how lively a party is, there will eventually be an end, and after that, you still need to face the desolation of a place and the emptiness of the heart.
So, a lot of times, why do people have to learn to be alone and enjoy being alone? It's not that they really hate socializing, it's that they're learning to avoid unnecessary socializing.
Looking back at many successful people, or literary giants and leaders in various fields, in fact, they have more or less experienced a period of time that was not understood.
They have an idea and want to be appreciated and helped by those around them, but when this dream is only empty talk, more people will only think they are crazy.
But when this desire has already taken shape, and even said that he can let others see its true development value, no one will be willing to join.
Most of the world's successes begin with a daydream, and in the process of 'dream-making', you are destined to experience many lonely and ostracized nights and days.
As Nietzsche once said, "You are a lonely freak today, you live in isolation, and one day you will become a nation." “
So, don't be afraid of loneliness, but instead make good use of that time alone to achieve, that better self.
4. To enjoy, to love
Many times, not just us ordinary people, all people no matter where he is and how much enviable capital he has, he will feel lonely.
The reason why they don't mention those times is because they have more reasons to grow.
We are the same thing, although we can't become anyone, but at least we have to enjoy and love.
Loneliness is not a special case, but one of the most common states in life.
Above all, I wish you a good dream and good night.