3 reasons to get lonely.

Instead of pleasing others, please yourself.

I wonder if you have ever experienced such a time?

It is obvious that you are in the downtown area, but you always feel that there is boundless loneliness and emptiness that will sweep in at any time.

It is not to say that you are unhappy, you will laugh out loud when you see funny videos, buy clothes you like, eat delicious things.

But this pleasure is short-lived, they are like knee-jerk reflexes, and the laughter is over.

And when you suddenly think of something unhappy, the happy emotions will fade as quickly as possible, replaced by loneliness and depression that are difficult to calm down and let go for a long time.

Maybe life is like this, the more you grow up, the lonelier you will be.

And I think the reason why I feel lonely may be the following three reasons.

Lost interest in re-acquainting with new people

The more I went to the second half of my life, the more I felt that adult feelings were fragile.

After realizing this, it seems that I have gradually lost the interest in making new friends and integrating into new circles.

Friendship or love, whenever a new person comes around, I no longer think about how to release my charm to attract him, but what the purpose of his arrival is, and how long he can stay around me.

If one day he suddenly leaves, how do I deal with it?

Instead of spending time and effort to approach the newcomer, starting to understand him from the name, inquiring about his interests and hobbies, his past, and his growth background, it is better not to put hope on the beginning and not to approach.

Especially after experiencing a failed relationship, he will be bitten by a snake and afraid of the well rope for ten years.

Fear of building a new relationship and not having the ability to maintain and operate a new relationship.

It seems that I don't know when to start, I have lost interest in interpersonal relationships, and I just want to return to the circle of a person's life, plant my own flowers, and love my own little universe.

Sometimes, in order to avoid end and harm, the beginning is avoided directly.

As the saying goes:

"No one likes to be alone, they just don't want to be disappointed."

I don't want to bend over backwards to cater to others

"The Little Prince" says that if you want to tame a person, you risk shedding tears.

Similarly, if you want to squeeze into a new circle, be prepared to be full of it.

I have a friend who said that she didn't want to cater to others, didn't want to be with people with different frequencies and different views, and hated and consumed each other, so she simply chose someone.

Every day after work, she would come home, no dinner, no networking.

When I came home from a day's work, I simply took a shower and lay in bed listening to songs, watching movies, eating a delicious meal to treat myself, and looking out the window in a daze when I was bored.

I asked her, would she feel lonely living day after day?

She said:

"Loneliness is inevitable, occasionally hearing good songs, clicking on the link to find that there is no one to share." Occasionally eat something delicious, after taking a photo, I find that WeChat is now full of colleagues or strangers.

At such times, you will also feel a little sad and lonely.

But come to think of it, it's my own choice.

I can listen to the songs I like, I can eat the food I like a few times, happy or sad, I can bear it myself, not to cater to others, and not to worry about other people's eyes and feelings. ”

Oh, yes.

I used to think that a person buying flowers would seem lonely, because I took flowers as gifts and hoped that someone would give them.

But now I feel that it is very romantic for a person to buy flowers, because flowers are life, rewards and rewards for themselves.

Life is the same, instead of pleasing others, it is better to please yourself.

Because pleasing others is the risk of shedding tears, and pleasing oneself is the highest state of enjoying loneliness.

Get used to being lonely and lower expectations

The snow that falls in everyone's life, the others are invisible, and everyone spends the winter alone in their own lives.

Understanding this, I slowly put away my expectations for others.

No longer encounter anything to send a circle of friends, find someone to talk to, cry about grievances.

No more things are stirred up, and emotions and moods are written on the face.

Even in the most difficult time of life, they no longer expect others to redeem themselves, but grit their teeth and hold on.

After all, there is no real empathy in this world, and in life, we all have to hold our own umbrellas.

As Mr. Miyazaki said:

"Don't rely on someone easily, he will become your habit. When separation comes, you lose not someone, but your spiritual pillar. ”

"Time, in its own mean-spirited way, makes us gradually magnanimous, understanding that no matter how we are treated by life, we still have to promise ourselves that there will be a sun tomorrow."

Loneliness, loneliness, is the norm of life, we accept it, face it, reconcile with it, live peacefully with it.

Believe me, the man who is on the same frequency as you, who is about to come to you, is enduring the same loneliness as you at the same time.

He may be friendship or love.

No matter what the relationship, you who choose to be true to yourself will not be alone, and you will always have someone to accompany you.

Click "Watching",

May one day you get used to loneliness and enjoy it; may one day that those loneliness blossom and illuminate your way forward.

- END -

Author: Tea Tea, Source: Little Tea Night Reading (vipyq95), please contact the original author for authorization.