In the face of setbacks, habitually withdraw; in the face of failure, it is momentarily stagnant...
The wish of parents is very simple, that is, they hope that their children can face setbacks head-on, be brave "little strong", and never be hit. Because only in this way can we spell out a sunny road of our own in the difficult and miserable situation in the future and have more opportunities for success.
But life, always full of regrets, can not meet the wishes of parents. Some children, they are cowardly by nature, especially in the face of setbacks and difficulties, are completely vulnerable. Their attitude towards setbacks, like the fragility of glasswork, is really shattered when touched.
There are such children in the family, and the parents really break their hearts. As an adult, I know the hardships and difficulties of life. If the child does not even have the basic ability to resist setbacks, then his future is really worrying. After thinking about it again and again, parents still have to reinvigorate their strength and cultivate their children's frustration psychology again.
Before that, it's important to understand why your child's frustration resistance is so poor.
The first is the doting of parents, which is beyond doubt. From childhood to adulthood, spoiling too much is not a good thing, but it will make children lose a lot of opportunities to grow and exercise. Imagine that everything is done for the children, what else do they need to do?
The second is the high demands of parents, too harsh. In principle, strict requirements for children are a good thing, but many parents forget the truth that things must be reversed. The more he is persecuted, the easier it is for the child to give up on himself, because he feels that he can't do anything well.
Finally, there are the influences of the external environment. I have to say that the impact of the environment on children is also particularly far-reaching. If the parents' ability to resist setbacks is very poor, the child will definitely not be strong and brave; in addition, the amount of experience and knowledge will also affect the child's ability to deal with things.
Since the cause of poor resistance to setbacks has been found, the next "right medicine" can save the child from danger.
1. Accept the mediocrity of the child.
At any time, bad emotions and mediocrity towards children must learn to accept everything according to the order, which is the performance of smart parents. For them, what they fear most is not the failure and setback itself, but the way their parents will look when they learn the results. If parents are at peace, accept that their children are not good, and encourage them to start over, I believe that the results will be very different.
2. Create small setbacks.
As the closest person to the child, parents should deliberately exercise their children's abilities and create small setbacks for them. During this period, parents should accompany their children and constantly use words to encourage and give them more confidence. Qualified parents will definitely punish and reprimand their children, let alone deny their practices.
3. Recognize yourself and summarize experience.
After each setback, guide the child to learn to summarize the experience, find out the reasons for all the failures, and record them. At the same time, we must also teach children to recognize themselves, and all unrealistic dreams must be pressed the pause button and start all over again. The so-called success is to find the best answer in countless failure summaries, and all this is expensive to persevere.
Write at the end: Setbacks are not so terrible, as long as the child faces the mentality and is willing to give himself the opportunity to start all over again. Oh, and after every setback, don't forget to ask your child to say "thank you." It is these setbacks that allow him to have more skills and navigate the road of life with ease.
Disclaimer: The pictures in the text are from ins, the blogger is @kidzootd, if you also have your own unique insights in the process of educating and parenting, or encounter problems that confuse you, welcome to explore yo ~ together