The top 10 children in the class are all from these 4 families! See early and benefit early

Xueba is never born, through the efforts of the day after tomorrow, every child has the potential of Xueba.

However, this acquired effort, not only the child's own efforts, parents and families, also play a pivotal role. A good family is often a hotbed for cultivating academic bullies!

A good family is often a hotbed for cultivating a bully!

Parents are eager for their children to study well, to be admitted to a good university in the future, and to have a bright future. This is also in line with our Chinese tradition of "hoping for a son to become a dragon" and "looking forward to a woman becoming a phoenix".

However, at the same age, the same class, and the same learning method, the children's academic performance is uneven, which makes many parents distressed.

In fact, the level of children's academic performance is affected by many factors, among which family factors occupy a very important role, even more than school factors!

This is not a rhetorical statement, but a conclusion reached through rigorous investigation. Through the survey of hundreds of students admitted to prestigious schools, more than 90% of the students are from the following 4 kinds of families!

Families who know how to control their emotions

When children are naughty and disobedient, how do you generally deal with them?

When the pressure of work is too high and there are too many chores in life, do you lose your temper with your children?

In the process of raising children, most parents will have anxious emotions, and can not control the emotions well, over time, will be sensitive and irritable, often tantrums to children.

"How did the grades go back? How did you learn? What's the use of raising you! ”

"Go out and play like crazy again!" Just know how to play all day, and when you grow up, you can do something! ”

"There is no one in the family who is worry-free, am I tired and tired every day?"

Did you say that to your child? If there is, then you are a parent who does not know how to control emotions, and your family is a family that does not know how to control emotions!

We all know that children are like a blank piece of paper, their words and deeds will be affected by the surrounding environment, especially the family environment, the impact on children is huge!

Therefore, from a certain point of view, the reason why children have problem behaviors is not caused by the child's initiative, but the result of passive influence and accumulation.

Children in the family for a long time in negative emotions, not only will become violent, tantrums, when life and learning encounter difficulties, most of them are not willing to tell parents, eventually lead to parent-child relationship estrangement, academic performance decline.

Surveys have shown that none of the children with excellent grades are full of negative emotions in their growth environment! It can be seen that whether the family understands emotional management has a profound impact on the child's academic performance.

If a family knows how to control their emotions and let the child grow up in a positive environment, then the child must also be a person who can manage emotions, be more rational, and be more efficient in learning!

A family that will communicate benignly

There was once a teacher who asked a child this question: When you have confusion, who will you ask for help first?

The results surprised all parents: the first place was the friend, followed by the teacher, and the parent, only in the fourth place!

When a child is confused, why not ask the parents for help? The main reason is that such families lack positive communication, and there is a deep gap between parents and children!

What's the problem? In fact, the main problem of families who lack communication lies in their parents!

If parents usually do not pay attention to communication skills, and the communication with the child is simple and rough, so that the conversation becomes less exquisite method and effect, but only the catharsis of emotions, in this way, it is easy to make the child repulsive, rebellious psychology, communication forced to be blocked.

Without benign communication, parents and children do not understand each other, when there is a problem in the child's learning, it can not be solved in a timely and effective manner, and over time, the child's learning will be affected.

How can we communicate soundly?

Parents should learn to listen. Learning to listen is the first step in communication. If the child is worried about something, parents may wish to stop the work at hand, sit down, and listen quietly to the child.

Good parents will listen to their children's ideas, and parents who often use a more equal model to communicate with their children in family relationships are much more likely to teach excellent children.

Work together to find a way to solve the problem. When the child encounters a problem and seeks help from the parents, the more specific the guidance given by the parents, the better, and the way to solve the problem is best discussed with the child to determine.

Through the discussion, the direction will be clearer, and the problem itself will appear clear and clear, which will help to solve the problem. At the same time, this way of participating together will also make children feel more accomplished and confident.

Families with benign communication, in addition to giving children the opportunity to express their opinions, also give children a more sense of trust.

When this sense of trust is amplified into learning, then the sense of trust will become the child's inner learning potential and motivation, so that in the arrangement of learning and time management, it is easier to promote the improvement of children's academic performance.

Learn to let go of the family

Many parents always think that their children are young, many things can not be done, and they cannot do well, so they will take care of everything for their children.

Parents may not know that this kind of all-around approach will hurt children's self-esteem and self-confidence, and will also hinder the development of children's independent ability, which is not conducive to the healthy growth of children.

Therefore, in family education, parents should learn to let go appropriately.

Parents let go appropriately, and children have the opportunity to practice and grow. In this way, the child's labor ability can be improved in the process of hands-on, the child's dependence on the parents will also be reduced, and the child can learn to serve himself and improve his self-management ability.

In addition, parents let go, the child's willpower can also be well exercised, invisibly increasing the child's ability to live independently, helping to improve the child's self-confidence.

When you learn to let go, then your child learns to grow. In this process of letting go, the child understands what is "their own thing" and what is "the parent's thing".

In the face of learning, children understand that learning is mainly their own business, and they have a clearer goal and motivation to struggle.

However, parents should pay attention to the fact that letting go is not "letting go".

Just like flying a kite, "letting go", it means that there is a line in the hand; and letting go is to do nothing, just like flying a kite to cut the line, the consequences are very serious.

A family that loves to read

In Israel, after every child is born, parents always smear honey on books, let children suck books, perceive books as sweet, and therefore, children also make reading a lifelong hobby.

In Finland, from the birth of a child, parents will read stories, read newspapers and tell fairy tales to their children at home, so that children can plant the seeds of love to read in family education.

In the Netherlands, children turn four and start going to the school library to borrow books. The school also sent special guidance to parents on how to cooperate with the school to cultivate their children's intensive reading ability at home.

Why do so many countries focus on developing reading habits for children and families?

Because the "learning" family atmosphere can subtly affect children and play a correct guiding role.

According to the survey, the excellent proportion of children in families whose parents read in their leisure time is more than 60% higher than that of families who "play mobile phones" and "play cards" in their spare time!

A child who excels in learning often comes from a family full of ink fragrance.

Therefore, parents should pay attention to family reading, even if the work is busy, they must also take time to read with their children. Parents should let their children know that in the matter of learning, they are not alone, parents should work with their children to practice "lifelong learning" to the end!

Parents and friends, try to create a good family atmosphere, maybe the next bully, is your child.

Source: New Parents Online