The manifestation of "reluctance to have children" lies in women and the responsibility lies in men
2022-03-11 08:55 Tan Haojun
Recently, a paper published in the 3rd issue of 2022 "China Youth Research" introduced, based on the in-depth interview with 10 "born" mothers in Chongqing, it was found that they have higher expectations for workplace development, child companionship, intimate relationships, and personal life, and under the influence of factors such as maternal function education, lack of spouse parenting, indifferent relationship between husband and wife, and poor physical experience in pregnancy, women believe that the road to fertility is more like a person's journey, full of risks and loneliness.
While this passage sounds a bit vague and a bit unspoken, it can even be credited with helping women shirk their responsibilities. However, if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense and is very much in line with the current actual situation. In the author's opinion, it is by far the most appropriate article, a view, and a point of view on the issue of fertility.
Don't look at the opinions and suggestions that people everywhere are now proposing to encourage childbearing, including the policy level, management level, fund level, education level, medical level, employment level, etc., and some even say that it is godlike, such as what proportion of GDP funds are taken out to encourage fertility, how much subsidies are given to those who have two or three children, how many holidays, and this fee and that tax are exempted. However, judging from the reactions of young people, it was frighteningly calm, and no one was saying "yes" or "accept" at all. Young women, in particular, are more likely to treat them in a "sneering" and "cold-eyed" manner, or simply using a sentence of "you will be born in the future".
Why do women treat fertility issues particularly "coldly"?
Why do women treat fertility issues particularly "coldly"? In particular, women who have already had fertility experience will be more disgusted with childbearing. As the article reflects, "women think that the path of fertility is more like a person's journey, full of risks and loneliness"
To tell the truth, this view expresses a very much in line with the status quo, in line with reality, in line with women's psychology, and also expresses the thoughts of a considerable number of women. Among them, the lack of responsibility of men is the most important factor leading women to have this kind of thinking, and it is also the irreparable lack of various policies and funds.
If you pay more attention to the issue of fertility, pay more attention to the birth of women, and pay more attention to the family situation, you can carefully observe how high the proportion of men who can assume the responsibility of husband and father in the female childbirth and subsequent child education, training, and companionship, and how many men have achieved the word "competent". I'm afraid that this is definitely not a data that can make women happy, nor is it a data that can promote women's fertility. More often, after a woman gives birth, the person who assumes the responsibility of care and escort is either a nanny, an aunt, a relative, or the parents of both parties, especially the woman's parents. More husbands, as they were in love, are still intoxicated with spiritual happiness, not becoming a real husband and father, and not taking on the responsibilities of husbands and fathers.
Some people may say that someone can take care of it, so pay attention to what to do, is it too pretentious and too elaborate. Obviously, this is a manifestation of the lack of understanding of women, and it is also a manifestation of irresponsibility towards women. Since becoming someone else's husband and becoming a father, you must assume the responsibility of husband and father, you must accompany your wife when she needs it most, you must assume the responsibility of father from the day the child is born, and work with your wife to educate, cultivate, and accompany your child.
Why fertility is more like a woman's journey alone, the question lies with men. To a certain extent, they regard their wives as "second and third milk", thinking that as long as they earn money outside, leave the money at home, find an aunt and nanny, and let their parents take care of their wives and children, they will fulfill the responsibilities of their husbands and fathers. Obviously, this is a very absurd practice and an extremely irresponsible act towards the wife and children. If so, it is not a family, a husband, a father.
It is precisely because men do not take on the responsibility of husbands and fathers, and many women have a fear of parenting, and even many women regret having babies. Naturally, the problem of having a second or third child will not be considered at all. In many families, there is such a phenomenon, men and their parents, both want to have a second child, three children, women and their parents do not want to have a second child, the third child, this is the reason. Men do not experience the difficulty of women's fertility and baby, and male parents have a very weak understanding of women' difficulties. Women are well aware of the mental and physical pressure and harm brought by the birth of a baby, and female parents are distressed about their daughters and do not want their daughters to work so hard.
Second, men's sense of responsibility needs to be enhanced
As a result, we have to look at the problem more deeply, encourage fertility, and only implement policies and give material help, etc., may not be able to mobilize the fertility enthusiasm of young people, especially young women. It was suggested that men should be given maternity leave in order to allow for greater companionship with their wives. This suggestion is good, but there is a premise, that is, to truly accompany and truly accompany, to put forward some regulations and requirements for male escort, accompany wife, education, training children, and assume family responsibilities, so that childbirth truly becomes a common thing and common responsibility of both men and women, rather than a woman's one-sided affair and responsibility, so that fertility is no longer a journey for women alone.
From the current situation, the performance of "reluctance to have children" is in women, and the responsibility lies in men. As long as the sense of responsibility of men is not enhanced, and the awareness of husbands and fathers is not strong, women's sense of fear of life cannot be eliminated, the internal motivation of childbearing cannot be stimulated, and even if there are policies and measures to encourage childbearing, it is difficult to play an effective role.