The book "Child Behavioral Psychology" mentions that when the baby is two or three years old, due to the greatly enhanced ability to move freely, the things he contacts are greatly increased, and the vision has become broader, so the self-awareness is getting stronger and stronger, and he will show more and more independent choice.
Text/Ying Mom
I always hear a lot of mothers around me, and my parents sigh that when the child reaches the age of two or three, it is more and more difficult to take.
The originally well-behaved baby has now become a headache. Let him eat well and say "no". After watching an episode, I still want to watch it again, and I cry without showing it. Sometimes criticize him for a sentence or two, and you have to talk back. Tell him to do the east, and he will do the west. Likes to do things as I wish.
Obviously it is for his own good, the child just does not understand. Either you are wordy or deaf. It makes people hate it, but it is completely rude.
Why does the child suddenly feel like a changed person? In fact, the above children's various behaviors are actually the manifestations of the child's independence beginning to sprout.
Psychologists refer to the rebellious behavior that occurs in children between the ages of 2 and 5 as the "forbidden fruit effect", also known as the "Adam and Eve effect".
People are always like this: the more things that are not available, the more they want to get; the more things that others say are not good, the more curious they are, the more they want to understand. This rebellious psychological phenomenon is known in psychology as the forbidden fruit effect.
Just like the French who did not accept potatoes at first, when they saw the plants protected by the three layers of guards inside and three layers, they secretly dug up some plants in their homes, but instead made potatoes a popular dish on the French table.
The forbidden fruit effect is an innate rebellious psychology of people. After entering the age of two, children begin to have more abilities, and they slowly have the will to control their own independent work.
For things that you don't understand, you have a strong desire to explore. For things that parents deliberately conceal and want him to avoid, they always want to try to get answers through their own exploration.
Think of what everyone has experienced as a child because of curiosity and inversely doing the forbidden fruit effect.
Mom said that you can't eat candy before going to bed, but you have to lie down and secretly hold a candy until dawn; a small request is not granted, you think you want to run away from home; in the morning, when it's time to get up, your mother doesn't want to get dressed...
Children will experience three rebellious periods in their growth, the "baby rebellion period" of 2-3 years old; the "child rebellion period" of 6-8 years old; and the "adolescent rebellion period" of 2-18 years old. Among them, 2-3 years old is the first period of rebellion in life.
Children like to do it, not necessarily a bad thing.
Some experts have done experiments on this, dividing 2 to 5-year-old children into two groups, one group is more resistant and the other group is weaker. The results found that 80% of the children in a group with strong resistance grew up to have strong independent judgment ability, firm will, and opinion; while only 24% of the children with weak resistance were able to act on their own when they grew up, and most of them had weak ability to judge things independently, did not do things decisively, and liked to rely on others.
The results of this comparative study allow us to see the other side of "rebellion", from which we found that children who love to sing against each other and like to work against their parents have their own ideas, independent judgment and independent ability to do things are relatively stronger.
There are two sides to everything. Rebellion is a normal psychological development process in the process of children's growth, and if it passes smoothly, it is good for both mental health and growth. If it is not handled properly, it will leave hidden dangers for the child's later growth and life development.
3 to 6 years old is the critical period for the formation of children's personality. The attitude of parents can also affect the formation of children's personality. If you want to successfully survive the "forbidden fruit effect", it is recommended that you can start from the following four aspects.
(1) Respect and understand the child
Whether it is a child's normal needs or improper needs, teach children to express their emotions correctly. Respect your child's normal emotions. If the child is impatient and does not listen to advice, it is necessary to crouch down and communicate with the child calmly, and understand the child's inner thoughts and reasons. Don't rush to criticize your child.
In public, children lose their temper and make trouble, pull the child aside, patiently understand the origin of the matter, express understanding of reasonable needs, and if the child's needs cannot be met, also tell him the reasons and correct practices. Don't blame your child in public and maintain your child's self-esteem.
(2) Changing the "inappropriate" environment
Children do not cooperate and like to do it, sometimes because the parent provides an environment for them to "work against the work". For example, children like to watch TV, some families often watch TV, not children's programs, children casually glance at it, often down the child's TV addiction is also big. Watching cartoons again, it's like you're going to add time.
There are also some children like to eat sugar, the family often buy a variety of snacks, if you have eaten habits, want to control, it is also very difficult, at this time you need to start from the environment, the family can not find candy, children naturally less worried, slowly accepted.
(3) Appropriately meet the child's reasonable requirements
Over-protection is also one of the reasons why children say "no." Too many requirements for children, too good protection, this also does not allow play, that does not allow touching, children feel that there is not much freedom, the awareness of natural resistance will be higher. It is recommended not to protect the child too strictly, as long as there is no obvious danger, dirty spots, small bumps and small bumps do not care too much.
What should I do if my child is disobedient, does not cooperate with the rules, and always asks for more? For the child's extra requirements, can meet several times. The answer given by Li Meijin experts is: reject 3 times, agree 1 time.
The significance of this is that children understand that communication is useful. As children grow up, the more they understand things, the more their needs are accepted, and they gradually understand the boundaries of their parents' love and doing things.
(4) Do not spoil children
For children's unreasonable words and deeds, education still needs to be educated. Behind a child who behaves inappropriately is a parent who has an inappropriate way of educating. Children are emotional and tantrum, parents should first keep their minds calm and not let the state escalate.
For the child's unreasonable or wrong behavior, point out the reason, if the child is still foolish, do not indulge, be resolute, let the child understand the bottom line of the parents.
Today's topic: What are the performances of your baby's rebellious period? Let's talk about it~ ~~
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I am Ying Mom, a child mother, family education instructor, parenting master, scientific parenting practitioner, multi-platform invited quality creators, focus on parenting dry goods and children's early education psychological knowledge sharing, happy text, happy sharing, I handwritten my heart, like to remember to pay attention to forward Oh!