I came out of my mother-in-law's house on the weekend and took my husband's car back to the city. In the car, my husband inadvertently mentioned that my daughter was in kindergarten, and I was quick to say: "Yes, my daughter was only 2 years old at that time and went to kindergarten, and she wet the bed several times at night." ”
My daughter looked at me with a look of displeasure. I realized I shouldn't have said that, my daughter was in the first grade of elementary school, sensible, and didn't want to talk about the ugly things that had happened when I was a child.
On the way home, I could only keep talking about topics that my daughter was interested in. For example, if there is anything interesting in the class, have you made new good friends? But my daughter didn't pay much attention to me, and it seemed that my daughter was really angry.
When I was almost home, I asked my husband to put me and my daughter down and buy two ice creams before I coaxed my daughter to turn the page.
When the child grows up, she doesn't want others to mention her things, even her parents. When my daughter was young, I probably didn't realize this, and I would often discuss her affairs with my husband, which led to the fact that I am now used to being in front of my daughter and doing the same thing as before.
Actually, this is not right. When the child grows up and understands things, don't go through the old things of the child's past to discuss. Because children also want face, they have strong self-esteem. When we usually get along with children, we really need to pay special attention to these aspects, so as not to hurt the child's self-esteem and affect the parent-child relationship between parents and children.
1. Do not mention the ugly things when the child is a child
Just like us adults, in the process of growing up, it is inevitable that some memorable ugly things will happen, and we do not like to be re-mentioned by others. Well, the same goes for children.
As parents, what happens when a child is a child may be a very interesting thing in our minds, but from the child's point of view, it is really a thing that does not want to be mentioned.
Say something about a daughter. When my daughter was young, I took a lot of photos for her, stored them on a large hard disk, and every time we had time, we would open the photos with the computer. Once, I found that many of the photos inside were missing, and I thought the hard drive was broken.
After several checks, it was found that the hard disk was not broken, but the storage space of the hard disk was a lot empty. Do you know what I found in the end? It turned out that her daughter deleted all the unsightly photos she had when she was a child, such as runny nose, dirty face, and unwear clothes.
Fortunately, she was not familiar with the computer, and the photos were retrieved in the computer's trash can.
2, do not repeatedly emphasize the child's shortcomings
Every child is not perfect and has its own flaws. In the eyes of parents, do not always stare at their children's shortcomings, enlarge their children's shortcomings, and choose to ignore their children's advantages, which is a very bad practice.
In our lives, there are always some parents who like to constantly emphasize their children's shortcomings. For example, children study very hard, but their academic performance is not good. Parents stare at their children's academic performance, say it several times a day in front of their children, relatives and friends come, still saying that their children's grades are not good, and they don't know what to do when they grow up.
There are many reasons why children do not learn well. As a parent, you should go deep into what is wrong with your child and have poor grades. Is it pretending to be a fake hard work? Or do you not understand the teacher's lectures in class? Or really not as good as other children.
Find the real cause and help the child find a way to solve the difficulties, this is what parents should do. Repeatedly emphasizing the child's shortcomings every day will only make the child less and less confident in himself.
3, do not compare children with others
In my practice, I don't compare my daughter to other children. Other people's children are excellent, depending on which aspect is excellent, their own children also have excellent places.
As a parent of a child, I am not willing to affirm the child, let me ask, who will affirm the child? We must find the strengths of the child, to affirm and praise the child's strengths, so that the child can truly feel that he really has excellent points.
When my daughter was in the first grade, she had never learned math in kindergarten, and simple number additions and subtractions could not be added or subtracted. In contrast, other private kindergarten graduates, mathematics can be counted as an addition or subtraction of less than 100.
My daughter was very unconfident and went home and told me: "Mom, I am not as good at math as my classmates, I can't count." ”
I told my daughter, "It's okay, your Language is very good, other students don't read as many books as you, and they don't know as many words as you." Last time, the teacher also praised you, saying that other students would not read the topic, and you would. Moreover, you have only just started to learn mathematics and will soon be able to catch up with them. At the end of the semester, my daughter's math caught up.
Of course, on the one hand, my daughter has self-confidence; on the other hand, it is the effectiveness of my studying mathematics with my daughter every day.
Written at the end: Although it is said that in the eyes of parents, the child will always be the child who does not grow up. However, children really grow up, be sensible, have their own ideas and self-esteem. Parents should be alert to themselves, in front of their children, there are some things that can be done, and some things must not be done. (The picture is from the network, if there is infringement, it must be deleted)