Big guy, I'm a fruit mom~
Guo Mama has always felt that the influence of parents on children is only based on the personality level. Later, after reading the research of psychologists at Baylor University, I was surprised to find that the influence of the "original family" on children would still exist at the genetic level!
Psychologists at Baylor University have studied that the degree of parental affection can change a child's acquired genes
Professor Maria Boccia, a psychologist at Baylor University in the United States who focuses on children and families, published her research in the Journal of Comparative Psychology on September 9, 2020.
In this study, she made an important discovery: the degree of affection of couples can affect and change the acquired gene of their children - oxytocin.
Many people may not know what oxytocin is, oxytocin is known as the "love hormone", is a neurohormone secreted in the brain, can regulate human behavior, especially when intimate relationships occur will be released.
Oxytocin has a direct link to our social behavior, emotional attachment, parenting, emotional anxiety, and more.
From the perspective of the relationship between husband and wife, the genetic influence of the child, if the parents have a bad relationship, or even divorce in the early childhood of the child, then the oxytocin content in the child's adult body will be significantly reduced, and the reduction of oxytocin will also directly reduce the child's intimacy, social ability, emotional attachment and so on.
Looking at the children around us whose parents divorced early, many of them will be more indifferent in their emotions and personalities when they grow up.
Therefore, the degree of love of parents will change the acquired genes of children!
The lack of father's responsibilities has become the "growing pain" of how many children and families?
Why say, this article, I suggest that fathers read more.
In the matter of family parenting, the "main person in charge" of many families is the mother. The mother takes care of the child, the mother plays with the child, and the mother comforts the child.
And the father? Because of the long-term lack of care for children and care for wives, this kind of "widowed parenting" cannot give children the feeling of "parental love", which will also greatly affect the secretion of oxytocin in the future of children and affect the child's future "ability to love".
Therefore, no matter what, the father's concern and love for the child, especially for his wife, must not be less!
In front of the child, parents should do "three Tibetan and one show"
For children, the greatest sense of security and happiness is to have a harmonious and beautiful family! How does a child define family and beauty? It is not the golden clothes and food, not the parents who are obedient to themselves, but the love of the parents.
Therefore, parents in front of their children, we must do "three Tibetans and one show", so that the secretion of oxytocin in the future will not be reduced, so that children become a loving person!
Hiding the "Sharp Edge"
One of Guo Ma's cousins is a very gentle person, and the cousin-in-law was also very good to her at first, and later, the cousin-in-law made more and more money, and began to make various "arrogance" to the gentle cousin, which was very arrogant.
Even if the cousin-in-law is very good to the children, the husband and wife relationship that makes up for equality will also affect the children.
It is said that husband and wife are "complementary", one gentle, one sharp.
If, this sharp edge has a lot of thorns, even if the other half will not care too much, or do not want to worry, but in the eyes of the child, it is "an arrogant and a patient", which is a qualitative gap with "one is making a fuss and one is laughing".
Hiding "negative emotions"
Do you know the "kicking cat effect"?
The man was reprimanded by the leader in the company, and when he came back, he threw a tantrum at his wife, and the wife went to teach the child, and the child kicked the cat under his feet.
Negative emotions have a very strong impact on family relationships, especially couple relationships.
It is recommended that when parents come back from outside, they will leave all the troubles outside and return to their small homes to relax and relax. This will not only make yourself comfortable, but also make the family more harmonious.
Hiding "contradictions"
Couples who don't quarrel, really very few.
However, in front of the child, be sure not to quarrel! Parents can make a pact, do not quarrel or argue in front of the child, what is the matter, wait until the child is asleep and then say it well.
Under normal circumstances, after the child falls asleep, the couple's emotions have eased a lot, and it is not easy to argue at this time, but they can sit down and communicate well.
Show love, can not be less
How to let children most intuitively feel the degree of love of parents? That's parents showing affection!
For example, the gifts carefully prepared by the father to the mother should let the children know!
For example, when the father comes back every day, the couple can hug!
These behaviors are to teach children how to express love, which is more conducive to the secretion of oxytocin in the future of children and become a person who will love!
Topic discussion: In front of the child, between you husband and wife, will you pay attention to the communication method and emotional expression?