Editor's Note:
Duan Xunwei, graduated from the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom, studied East Asian Studies, served in the State Grid Electric Vehicle Service Co., Ltd., a member of the Daxing District Working Committee of the Jiusan Society, and the director of the Publicity Department.
At the same time, I am also a mother of three children, and I feel the hardships of working mothers. We need to put in more effort than men to carry the two mountains of family and work and switch back and forth between the two!
Today, with the platform of the District Working Committee, I would like to share with you my previous speech at the Second Alumni Innovation Forum of the University of Chinese Academy of Sciences: "My Time is My Master - An Efficient Guide for Couples in the Workplace".
1 Soul Three Questions
Often gives my soul three questions? How many children do you have? I said 3, everyone is very surprised, because after all, there are not too many families with three children now, although the two-child policy has been liberalized, but in fact, some people do not even want to have the second child.
Then they will continue to ask me, how many people in your family with children? I said, now it's 2 people, my husband and I, there was an aunt before, but isn't this the epidemic this year...
Then people will continue to ask, so you don't go to work? I said, I'm going to go, I'm going to work.
Most of the people who hear this here think it's incredible, how can the two of us who work with 3 children?
In fact, at that time, we did not think that we could bring 3 babies by ourselves, and it has been more than 2 years since January 2020. Of course, the epidemic has indeed played a certain role, a lot of work does not have to go to the scene, just like many people say that this epidemic compared to SARS in 2003 is the C-end of the Internet to the B-end, the most obvious change is that my husband can work at home, and even the court is a cloud court. And this is the basis for my family's two-and-three model to achieve.
Here's a little experience of how I did time management.
02 Effectiveness = Efficiency * Target
High efficiency does not mean that the goal can be achieved, with the goal and then multiplied by efficiency is the way to achieve the goal.
First of all, a few words: I think, when I first had children, many people's homes were chickens flying and dogs jumping. The joy of becoming a new mother will soon be overwhelmed by the feeding day and night, and the emotional irritability stems from "no time to sleep" and "the husband of the cloud spouse".
There is a saying that women are not as good as dogs in middle age (please do not insult dogs), perhaps because this society is too demanding of women, from when to start, we dare not ask for leave for work, do not dare not accompany children, dare not relax every nerve, and even dare not get sick. Hanging on to a breath of fairy breath every day, without slacking off, 24 hours a day, like Superman, it seems that it will never fall.
From the situation of my family, in fact, my husband and I also had old people to help us with children when we gave birth to the eldest, and our investment in work was far higher than that of the family. However, it was precisely because of the premature birth of my two and three twins that we both changed the family's goals at this stage.
At that time, I was pregnant with twins and still working hard, and even when I was 6-7 months old, I worked overtime until the middle of the night, until one day I went to the maternity check-up and was directly detained by the doctor in the delivery room. Why? Because I opened 3 fingers and didn't realize it.
At this point, I began to lie in bed for 36 days, eating and drinking Lazar could not get out of bed, 24 hours drip and heartbeat monitoring days. And just like that, I was able to keep the baby until 33 weeks premature. Of course, I stayed in the hospital for 36 days, and my husband stayed with me for 36 days.
In fact, at the beginning, he thought that it was a very common thing for a woman to have a child, but this incident made him really realize that in fact, pregnancy to birth is dangerous every moment. And then one of my sons' brain development delays caused by premature birth also made us both realize that perhaps the most important goal of my family in this matter is to cultivate children, the formation of various habits, and do their own things, including sleeping by themselves, eating by themselves, doing simple housework, playing with each other, and the boss's self-learning habits.
It is also the cultivation of these habits that allows us to have more than two years of two years of two years to achieve.
03 Focus on goals and break down goals
In fact, I would like to say that people's energy is definitely limited, and it is really impossible to take care of many things. So focusing on one area can help us improve our efficiency.
But the milestones will definitely change with the most important things at this stage of the family as a whole, such as I think my family has passed the initial stage of habit formation, so my husband and I will have more energy to shift from family to work.
Therefore, we have to determine the phased goals, the goals are not easy to be too complex, because it is easy to distract, resulting in our goals will be abandoned or increased to this degree of difficulty. The task is then disassembled according to the specific objectives.
In addition, we must spend 80% of our time on those key things, and only these key things can produce the greatest benefits in the future. And spend 20% of their time on trivial things, because the benefits they bring in the future are very small. Let's divide things according to the degree of importance and urgency, and do things and time management according to plan, so that life can become calm and efficient.
04How to do two drag three?
Finally, how my family can really achieve two drags and three, of course, my family will definitely have a temporary need for the elderly to help, please some hourly workers to clean the home.
The first is the use of Internet changes, C-end (life online shopping) and B-end (office networking); the benefits of modern mechanization (sweepers, tractors, stir-fryers, picture book robots).
Secondly, the daily management of 3 children, so that children also join the housework (before eating, set the table, take chopsticks; after eating, clean the table, wipe the floor, wash the dishes after breakfast, wash the fruits and vegetables, regularly clean their own toys, books, wardrobes, fold clothes, etc.), strengthen self-motivation, independent learning ability.
Finally, use fragment time (on the road) + calculate the most time-saving order (more can be done per unit of time).
05 Enhance the happiness of life
Work, education, and partisan work should be integrated with each other (for example, I would write a public name, also because I originally wanted to study the education of children. For example, party work writes about social conditions and public opinion, and will write about education issues and problems encountered in work, which can be integrated with each other).
A few final words:
1. The reason is very simple, it is not easy to insist, just like losing weight, to put it bluntly, it is to open your legs and control your mouth, but it is not simple to let you do it every day.
2. Let the child be self-motivated, don't push her. Let her spontaneous efforts, master good learning methods, good time management, better than anything.
3. It is the responsibility of parents to discover the strengths and potential of children and find the path that suits them best.
Well, today my sharing is here, thank you all for your time.