In order to increase the readability of the account, study notes are released on Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays. (Notes are excerpts and do not represent personal views)
1) Good education begins with the non-negation
What a person looks like is often inseparable from the seeds left by education in her heart, so the future of the child is now.
From elementary school, try not to use negative sentence patterns, that is, the beginning of a good education.
Because once verbal expression becomes a habit, it will slowly be internalized as part of the personality.
This subtle form of character-building is often overlooked.
Too much negation is easy to make people form preconceived negative judgments, thus accumulating negative attitudes towards others and the world emotionally, so that behavior is inevitably paranoid.
A good education must be an education that sows the seeds of civilization in the minds of students.
She can inspire the good power that students have hidden in their nature, and let the beautiful humanity stretch out unconsciously.
On the contrary, bad education often suppresses and even destroys the good nature of students for utilitarian purposes.
Bad education is necessarily a short-sighted education, which cultivates not warmth and sympathy, but hostility and discrimination.
——Excerpt from "The Details of Education"
2. Be a fan of children
Return the process of growing up to them and let them experience success and failure on their own.
Educators no longer want to be a hard "runner", but to be a "cheerleaders" on the road to children's growth.
When children lose faith, help them find sparks of hope;
When kids succeed, be their first fan;
Know your child's world in terms of their values.
Education is only possible if you enter the world of children.
——Excerpt from "The School of the Future"
3. Allow your child to express anger
Winnicott knows that healthy children have a lot of violence and hate.
If a parent forgets to feed his child, he warns that if you disappoint him, he will feel like he is going to be devoured by a beast.
Babies sometimes express aggression, and it is crucial for parents to allow him to express anger and not to intimidate or preach about so-called "bad" performances.
Winnicott argues that if a baby cries in anger and the caregiver around him remains calm, it increases the baby's ability to a considerable extent—that is, what he feels, thinks is real (for example, he is starving to death, no one takes care of him, no one likes him), but this is not the case.
That is to say: the negative thoughts generated by the child when they are angry and crying, under the calm care of the caregiver, will help the child to increase an ability, and this negative thought will not come true.
And if the caregiver is not calm, when the child is angry and crying, scare him, preach him, criticize him, and even scold and scold him, the caregiver's reaction verifies the child's negative thoughts, and the child will feel that his negative thoughts are right and deviate from the facts.
This is one of the reasons for the emergence of a paranoid personality.
4, do not let the child be too obedient
Parents are relieved to see babies and children following their rules, and such children are called "good children."
Winnicott was very worried about this good boy.
He believes that such children will send a message that parents who cannot tolerate bad behavior will demand their children's obedience too early and too strictly.
This will lead to the emergence of a false self: a personality that is superficially obedient and superficially good, but in fact suppresses its own important instincts.
The child seems to cover his real face with a veil.
In Winnicott's concept, adults who lack creativity, adults who have partially died in their hearts, most of their parents have no tolerance for rebellion, and most of them prematurely let their children become "good children" and meet the "standards" of good children.
Thus, too, they stifled their ability to become moderately good, moderately generous and kind.
5, a day, two days can achieve things, there is no too high value
What can be achieved in one day or two days is not too valuable.
Because you can do it, a lot of people can do it too.
They all say to be friends of time, to be long-termists, and the deep meaning of these words is the opposite of quick success.
More specifically, it is to use the greatest patience to polish it over and over again on high-value matters.
The moments when you are tormented, so are other people, the moments when you are most anxious and want to let go, and so are others.
What you have to restrain is the quick mind that is achieved overnight, doing things that are against human nature.
Or to say to myself, allowing myself to slow down is a gift to myself, a tenderness to myself.
Until these mental and time investments become your insurmountable moat.