In fact, this is a textbook, almost an introductory course, because for me who has never understood psychology, it is not particularly difficult to read.
Also because it is a textbook, the language used by the author is more rigorous, the exposition is more objective, the views are impartial, and there is almost no personal emotional color.
Because of this, the book is quite dull to read, and although the Douban score is very high, few people have read the mark.
However, when you have a learning mindset, and it can also introduce you to child psychology, you need to brew your own mood to like it.
I'll talk about some of the feelings I had after reading this book.
The first is thinking about "nature and upbringing"
The book says that nature refers to biological factors that affect children's development, and parenting refers to the living environment that affects children's development.
The famous American psychologist John Watson of the early 20th century was a representative of the theory of parenting supremacy, saying that if he gave him a dozen healthy and flawless babies (no matter who their ancestors were) and he tailored the environment for them, he would be able to raise the child as he intended.
John's idea has not been tested experimentally, but in reality we can see many cases, such as the same couple raising biological and adopted children in the same way, and grow up to become very different people.
It's the same upbringing.
Another typical example is a pair of identical twins with extremely close genes, who grow up in different families and become different types of people when they grow up.
So, being paranoid about one aspect is unscientific, and nature and upbringing are two important factors in a child's development that interact to shape a person.
Now that we know this, what does it mean to us?
The book says that while there are many genes in everyone's body, not all genes show a role, and it needs to be activated.
And the environment is the biggest factor in activation.
Maybe a child is born with the genes of "bad people", but in a very good upbringing atmosphere, the genes of "bad people" have not been activated.
This is the result of man-made, the power of man to transform nature.
"The Birth of the Devil Boy of Nezha" tells a similar story.
Some children may have "good guy" genes in their bodies, but because of the extremely bad parenting environment, many good genes are not activated.
And there are some people whose genes are extremely powerful, and no matter how the parenting environment affects them in the opposite direction, they can still play a powerful role in genes.
For example, some people have experienced family destruction and helplessness at a young age, but they can still insist on self-reliance and self-reliance, and grow up to become a healthy and happy person.
There are also adopted children whose parents take good care of them, but who ultimately fail to become people as kind and friendly as their parents.
Nature is an objective thing, we have a helpless side, so when you see that your child has not been able to become a bully after all, don't be upset in your heart, because you have not become.
But we can't accept our fate, as long as we work hard to cultivate scientifically, we can reverse many bad predictions to the greatest extent.
The second is vigilance against the "irreversibility of child development"
The book is divided into five parts, the last four of which deal with the development of different periods of the child, each of which is analyzed in detail.
In this way, it is also clear that there is a established route for the physical and mental development of children, and each stage has similar symbolic characteristics.
And most importantly, it's a one-way line that misses and can't go back.
Speaking of children's language development, learning a second language before the age of 12 can reach the level of native language in pronunciation, and even if you can use this foreign language after the age of 12, it will have defects in pronunciation.
It is also said that before the age of 12, the language area of the child's brain is still plastic, so if a person injures the language area of the brain before the age of 12, he can eventually recover his language ability, but after the age of 12, he can never recover.
In middle childhood, the child's brain undergoes a "reform", which will prune out the infrequently used synapses and enhance the ability to process in a targeted manner.
So this stage is a great time to learn knowledge and learn many survival skills.
In addition to middle adolescence, children also have a synaptic trimming when they enter puberty, which is also a second chance in life, if you pass through this village again, there will be no shop.
Knowing a lot of this, parents must seize every important moment and raise their children in a targeted manner.
Parents who are born without raising or who are chaotic and abandoned should also be ashamed of it, because they miss the cultivation of their children and miss their whole lives.
Three ideas about whether parents should take the qualification certificate
When "Why Home" was popular, on the topic of the original family, some people once raised the question of "why parents do not need to obtain a qualification certificate".
The personal section of the book presents an article on this topic.
Why do many people think of the "parental credential" thing?
Because parenting is so important and child development is irreversible, parents are so important as the people who shape them, almost a key factor in determining a person's destiny.
In reality, too many because of the dereliction of duty of the original family (especially the parents), or delay the normal development of children, or shape people with distorted personalities, causing irreversible harm to them, and may also bring great harm to society.
Many of the criminal cases mentioned by Li Meijin in the book "Psychological Parenting" are due to the lack of love and abandonment of parents, and some are not careful or wrong in discipline.
Theoretically, the need for adults to pass the examination in order to obtain the qualifications to become parents seems to be an ideal measure, which greatly guarantees the quality of parenting.
However, the idea is ultimately a hypothesis, like euthanasia, theoretically universal, but it involves too many complex social issues to be allowed to be implemented.
However, some of the parts mentioned in the book are very informative, that is, the education of parents.
Regardless of whether you are about to become a parent or have become a parent, you should take the relevant courses, and if you fail the test, you should reflect and improve.
Perhaps when the development of society reaches a certain stage, some of the contents of this vision can really be realized, and it will be seen.