You cry and you cry, I count me in defeat! God parenting or real pit baby?

Have you also seen many parenting experts on the Internet say this: "A child crying is "working", you let him cry, don't hug him, you can't put it down when you hold him."

John Watson, a psychologist from the United States, once proposed a famous theory that is "crying immunotherapy".

His theory is that the child does not cry and does not hold, and only when he does not cry can he hold him. And in order to prove that such a practice is good for children's personality and intellectual growth, he used his own young children to do personal experiments.

The idea of "crying immunotherapy" changed the parenting practices of American children, an entire generation of children, including his own. It is also true that a large number of well-behaved babies who rarely cry and make their mothers labor-saving have been trained.

But it also paid a heavy price! John Watson's son went through many light lives and eventually left this world at a young age. The daughter has been drinking for many years and died young, which is really the most real face to the father's educational philosophy.

However, today, "cry immunotherapy" is cloaked in the cloak of independent parenting and is once again popular in Chinese mother circles.

The dangers of crying immunization

Crying is the most direct communication channel between the baby who can't speak and the outside world, and the baby often uses crying to remind us that he needs help now and wants to get the attention of his parents. However, the "crying immunization method" is actually ignoring the baby's emotions and needs in disguise!

1: If the interaction result is always rejected, it is easy to cause the baby to reduce or even stop communicating with the outside world;

2: Always in the case of not being understood, the baby will be extremely insecure, and the psychology may also be traumatized;

3: Crying for a long time may damage the baby's cognitive development and even physical development;

4: For babies who have no ability to take care of themselves and save themselves, long-term neglect may also cause certain safety risks.

The crying immunization method seems to make Bao Ma Bao Bao worry less, but in the long run, bao ma and Bao Dad will have more to worry about in the future. Long-term adherence to the crying immunization method will make the body and mind of the immature baby form a stereotype, parents do not care about themselves, do not love themselves. In fact, there have been many cases of children with the use of cry immunization methods, because of this emotional neglect, resulting in children suffering from irreversible mental illnesses such as "children's schizophrenia" and "autism".

The baby's crying is not for no reason, if you want to understand the baby's "unique language", clearly receive the "signal" conveyed by the baby, and find the reason for the crying is the key!

Why is your baby crying?

Children under 1 year of age: Express their needs through crying. Every child comes into this world crying, and before the child learns to express his needs in words, there is no other way but to use crying to express his needs. So, for a baby within 1 pair, crying is a language that tells parents that I need to...

Could it be that the child is hungry? Dozing off? Pulled? Peeing? Stomach aches? Wait a minute!

Children aged 1-2: Express by crying: I want to be noticed. After the age of 1, the meaning of crying has changed, the crying in terms of physiological needs has gradually decreased, and the crying of social needs has gradually increased, and the child gradually knows that crying can be used to summon parents, get attention and companionship.

2-3 year olds: Expressed by crying: I protest. 2-3 years old is your baby's first rebellious period. During this period, the child will be very resistant to the outside world imposed on him, if you have to impose their own will and ideas on the child, hope that the child can grow in the direction given by the adult, the child will definitely fight with you to the end, if the child says "no" to the parents does not work, you can only use crying to express protest.

Children after the age of 3: with a certain purpose. Children at this stage often encounter setbacks or things that cannot be solved through hard work, because they do not know how to ask for help or cannot express their need for help, so they can only cry and vent.

Face your baby's crying

How do parents respond?

Many parents say: When the child cries, I have always been empathizing according to the experts, but I feel that what I say is wrong, and the child still cries? That's because you just allowed your child to cry, but you didn't really accept your child's emotions.

When a child is dominated by emotions, it is difficult to listen to anything, so the best way is to "do it first and then say it", move the words to be said backwards, and accompany him to calm down first.

Note that here is "accompanying the child", you do not need to say anything to coax him, but you can pat his back, teach him to take deep breaths to control his emotions, you can also invite the child to go out for a walk, kick the soil, listen to nursery rhymes, etc., instead of just sitting on the side and doing his own thing, completely ignoring him.

Wait until the child has calmed down, and then you give him a clear line of principle, or propose a solution, so that he can listen. For example: the building blocks have fallen, it doesn't matter, is it okay for your mother to accompany you to put it up again?

Of course, every emotional outburst is an excellent time to guide children to identify emotions, high emotional intelligence is not not to lose their temper, but to lose their temper reasonably!

Scientific parenting

Accompanied by 3Q Kids Business School

Raising children is a scientific science, and the weekly video number regularly updates the knowledge of scientific parenting. It aims to let every parent understand a little scientific knowledge and prescribe the right medicine in order to achieve the greatest results. Pay attention to us, and guard the baby's happy growth together!