Text/Ye Qiuchen
I remember when I brushed the short video, I saw a clip with more than 1.5 million likes, which was about the content of Zhou Bingkun crying to his father about his inner pain in the drama "In the World".
The Zhou family has three children, Zhou Bingkun is a boy and an old man, and in theory, he should be very favored.
But this is not the case.
Zhou Bingyi, the eldest brother of the Zhou family, and zhou Rong, the elder sister, were admitted to good schools and became the "children with a good future" in the mouths of the next-door neighbors, while Zhou Bingkun stayed at home and became a "child who can accompany".
Ye Qiuchen had a very impressive scene, that is, the eldest and second eldest were admitted to a prestigious university, and Zhou Zhigang took the family to visit the New Year.
The praise and praise were all given to the other two children, and Zhou Bingkun was followed by Gray Slippery.
At that moment, I suddenly wanted to talk about the ultimate discussion thrown out by "The World", which was also a choice that many parents faced in the past.
There is an or can accompany, which is more important?
There is no answer to this question itself, everyone has subjective thinking, and the tendency to judge is different.
When you have the answer in mind, you may not be able to face another situation without changing your mind.
Greedily speaking, it must all be important.
I have not seen the type of family with huge wealth, children who have time to accompany, but also can open a company to make money.
But that's a very small minority after all.
Other families, emotionally more or less inclined.
Intellectually speaking, Father Zhou understood the dilemma of the world.
Zhou Father is a typical, he plays not only the Zhou family father, but also a shadow of many people's fathers.
He was a dad of three, but growing up he was almost absent.
Need to go out to work, have limited time to accompany, and often can't take care of home.
The character is very hard, typical of the head of the family image, the rules he set can not be refuted, under the dignity of the father does not know how to get along with the children happily.
On the one hand, he is very proud of his eldest son and daughter's admission to prestigious universities, because Zhou's father firmly believes that knowledge can change his destiny.
On the other hand, he feels that his younger son is not as good as his brother and sister, but he can accompany the elderly and take care of daily life.
This was the view he had clearly expressed with Zhou Bingkun on his lips.
He knew that there was no way to demand that all children should be able to attend school and be with their parents all the time.
But the reason is reasonable, and in behavior, he did not affirm the sacrifice and dedication of his younger son.
Even, he will subconsciously deny the struggle and effort of his younger son.
What is said on the lips and what is thought in the heart are completely two sets of things.
The eldest son and daughter have not seen each other for a long time, and they are worthy of boasting to outsiders in the mouths of the Zhou family's parents.
Shortcomings and deficiencies are weakened by distance.
Distance produces beauty, and this sentence is not empty talk.
Zhou Bingkun was the only one of the three children who stayed in his hometown to take care of his mother, he did not go to college, just an ordinary worker.
Because of the excellence of his brother and sister and the imperceptible transformation of his parents, Zhou Bingkun's inferiority was firmly engraved in his bones.
Although he lived very hard and worked hard to be filial to his parents, he never received as much praise as his brothers and sisters.
So he will subconsciously deny himself, and even when his parents boast that "the children are out", he will say "I almost".
But Zhou Bingkun is the most rare child.
Who doesn't want to pursue their own value?
Zhou Bingyi and Zhou Rong were both admitted to the school they wanted to go, and both had a small family formed by free love.
Zhou Rong even sent her daughter directly to Zhou Bingkun to raise her, and only after entering college did she and her husband pick up the children.
During this period, Zhou Mu fell ill in bed and lay down for two years.
Without Zhou Bingkun's sacrifice, can Zhou Bingyi and Zhou Rong realize the value of their lives?
No.
Zhou Bingkun has always wanted to do something that can be affirmed, which also indirectly affects his life and destiny.
For Father Zhou, he was actually very lucky.
There are three children, two "have a presence" and one "can accompany".
But for Zhou Bingkun, he was very depressed.
At least in his parents, he gave the most, but gained the least.
Severe psychological imbalance.
Why is Father Zhou lucky?
After all, he still has three children to assign these "needs."
There is also a Zhou Bingkun who can sacrifice and satisfy two children to pursue value, pursue their personal value, and pursue the value of showing off as a parent.
Now, how do families with only one child balance this need?
Those who go out will have no time to spend with their families, and those who do not go out will be nagged and not out.
The dilemma is perfect, but it is not insoluble.
Previously, Ye Qiuchen wrote a drama review, expressing the view that "the suffering of the world is essentially desire."
Objectivity cannot be changed, the key lies in changing ideas.
As long as you know how to be satisfied, whether you are a parent or a child, find a balance that both parties can happily accept.
It is unrealistic to blindly ask children to be able to take care of everything.
It is also unreasonable to blindly ask parents not to always harass.
Under the "two-way request", they are not happy with each other, they all have mustard in their hearts, and the knots in their hearts cannot be opened.
Only "two-way understanding" is the key to solving the problem.
———————
—The copyright of this article belongs to the original author (@Ye Qiuchen), commercial reprint please contact the author to obtain authorization, non-commercial reprint please indicate the source - plagiarism must be investigated - welcome to forward comments -