Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
The world often says, "A woman does not worry about marrying." ”
There is some truth to this, but it is not as advantageous as women think.
There are three elderly unmarried women around me, all of whom are extremely good women, beautiful in appearance, outstanding in stature, not low in education, high in income, and have a house and a car.
According to the reason, such women should have stepped into the marriage hall early, but they were stunned to delay themselves until after the age of 35.
As for the reasons for this, it can be explained in one sentence - high is not low.
There is no shortage of suitors behind them, but those people can't get into their eyes, and the people they want to marry can't look up to them.
It's like a food chain where no one wins, no one loses.
First, women do not worry about marriage, in fact, is a false proposition
If women really didn't worry about getting married, there wouldn't be so many older single women.
Some people may say that it is because people do not want to get married, and if they want to get married, it is also a matter of minutes.
In fact, this statement is not valid at all, on the contrary, the marriage market, the ratio of men and women, it is obvious that the willingness of women to marry has always been very strong, but they have not found the object of their choice.
Because I couldn't find it, I couldn't get married.
In other words, getting married is not an easy task for them.
01 Women do not worry about marrying refers to finding a man to marry without any requirements
It is an untrue fact that the ratio of men to women is obvious.
According to the census, the total population of the mainland is more than 36 million men than women, in addition to the situation that the elderly population is more female than male, and the attrition rate of boys before the age of 20, at the marriageable age stage, men are also tens of millions more than women.
But so what? Does that mean that a woman can choose the other half as she pleases? Not really.
If a woman casually finds a man to marry, it can indeed be said that she is not worried about marriage, but most women cannot do it at all.
Although there are more men and fewer women, most of the extra men are not eligible for marriage, which means that women do not look up to them at all.
Since this is the case, women naturally will not choose the other half in that group, but if you remove that group, there is actually no gap in the number of men and women left.
In this way, the ratio of men to women in marriage and love is not out of balance, and women will not have any advantages.
After all, they are married to men who have a house, a car and the ability to support their families, and in this case, there is a process of mutual selection.
Since it is mutual selection, women naturally do not occupy an absolute advantage.
02 Trying to find the right partner is never an easy task
Whether it's a man or a woman, it's not an easy task to find the right partner.
What you look up to may not be able to look at you, and you may not be able to see you.
Life is like this, there is no perfection to speak of, many people have been in emotional entanglement all their lives.
Even if there is no love, choosing the other half through conditions will often encounter such things.
Whether it is the door to door of family conditions, the equality of personal conditions or the coincidence of the three views of personality, it is not an easy task.
As a result, many women will fall into a relatively awkward situation when looking for a partner.
Obviously, the conditions are very good, but I can't find the ideal other half.
Not only women, but many men also have such troubles.
Second, both men and women, it is wise to marry at a young age
Many people are reluctant to accept this fact, as long as someone advises them to get married early, they will feel that others are urging marriage, perhaps because of the reverse psychology, they usually face this matter with extreme resistance.
But in fact, those who persuade them to get married early are usually people who are sincerely good for them.
First, it is easier to find the ideal partner while you are young
Many people dream that they will be developed in the future, and they can look for young and beautiful women or small fresh meat, but in fact this is just a fantasy.
In this world, ordinary people are always the majority, whether they are 20 years old or 40 years old, they will not change much.
There is no difference between a monthly income of 3,000 for 20-year-olds, 6,000 for 30-year-olds, and 10,000 monthly income for 40 years old, because their income cannot offset their age disadvantage at all.
The most important thing is that they have not gotten the career they want in their lives, and they have a relatively stable job.
Since it is destined to be ordinary, we must grasp the tail of youth, otherwise we will completely fall into an embarrassing and passive situation.
It is not true that men in their twenties who have entered three or four thousand years must be better off the list than men who have entered 6,000 years in their 30s.
The same thing is done with women.
You can't become a rich person, so it is wise to take off the order early.
What's more, in your 20s, you are faced with a wider range of choices, and once you cross the 30-year-old barrier, you will find that you can choose less and less of the opposite sex.
The reason why so many older men and women don't marry is because they have a hard time finding the right partner, and if they are 10 years younger, it will inevitably be a different ending.
Second, when you get married at an older age, the pressure doubles
Married in his 20s, his children are already in college in their 40s, and in a few years he will be able to be independent.
Even if your earning power is limited, you can solve your children's parenting problems while you are young.
But if you don't get married until you're in your 30s, by the time you're 50, your kids may still be in school.
This is indeed a heavy burden for ordinary people, because the work of ordinary people is unstable, and ordinary people are prone to unemployment when they are old.
Coupled with the fact that there is a small pressure on the upper and lower levels at the same time, many people simply have no way to resist.
Thinking carefully about the life experience of the elderly can be used as a reference after all, especially parents, they cannot harm their children, they are only willing to make their children better and better.
They urge marriage, they want their children to get married soon, because they are people who come over, and they know that doing the right thing at the right age can avoid a lot of trouble.