Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
When I was a child, I looked forward to growing up, but when I really grew up, I missed the carefreeness of my childhood.
This is the real situation of contemporary young people.
When they grow up, it is difficult to have a carefree life, they are like shackles, every step is heavy, and the happiness they once had has long been imprisoned in some dark room.
"I also want to live a happy and happy life, but no way, I have a lot of negative emotions every day."
This is a sentence that a colleague once said to me, in fact, he expressed not only his state, but also the state of most young people.
Negative emotions are like the devil holding on to them, so that they can't feel happiness or see the sun.
Without so many negative emotions, young people would not have lived so hard.
So getting rid of negative emotions has become a dream of contemporary young people.
First, the harm of negative emotions
The harm caused by negative emotions is far greater than everyone thinks.
Psychologically
A person full of negative emotions is not happy at all, not only that, he will also suffer a lot.
Relative to the physical torment, the inner torment is the most terrible.
When a person is controlled by negative emotions for a long time, he will become a slave to emotions, eventually lose himself, and live in eternal pain.
More severe cases may develop mental illness, such as depression.
For the body
Negative emotions can cause some degree of health problems.
Anger puts a burden on the liver, and it is more affected if it is a woman.
In the long run, everyone is prone to diseases, and some cancers are also caused by long-term negative emotions.
Second, the source of negative emotions
First, work pressure
Crow's feet in your 20s, middle-aged fortune, and baldness in their prime are true portrayals of many people, and most of this comes from the pressure of work.
1. Tedious work content
Everyone's work content is different, and if someone is easy, someone must be affected.
Some people work in two shifts, some people have been suffering from the heavy work system of 996, and some people are anxious about performance every day.
In short, work brings them a lot of pressure, even psychological burden.
2. Employment pressure
With the development of society, the competitiveness of posts is becoming more and more competitive, and many young people simply cannot find suitable jobs.
Long-term job search is likely to cause serious psychological stress, and the results must be determined according to the tolerance of different people.
Some people are more and more frustrated, and some people have lost confidence, living in anxiety all day, and can no longer bear more blows.
3. Midlife crisis
35 years old is a barrier, especially in the workplace.
Compared with middle-aged people who do not have enough energy and physical strength, companies obviously prefer young people.
Some companies explicitly stipulate that only people under the age of 35 are recruited, and people around the age of 35 who are still looking for a job experience ups and downs, and those who have jobs are also worried, because they are at risk of unemployment at any time.
Second, the stress of life
"Life crushed his spine."
This sentence is suitable for many people, and the pressure of life is like a mountain on everyone's shoulders.
1. Mortgage and car loan
For various reasons, young people like to run to big cities, and if they want to live and work here, they must buy a house and a car, and since they can't pay the full amount, they will mortgage.
Mortgage means long-term repayment, which is a hard process and a stressful process.
Some young people think about how to make money as soon as they open their eyes, because they are afraid that one day they will not pay off the mortgage and car loan, and they will lose everything from then on.
That's what they got so hard, how could they be willing to lose it?
2. Maintenance and upbringing
Family pressure is also part of the stress of life.
Dual-independence families with general economic conditions are under tremendous pressure in life, with some old and some young, and this burden is not something that everyone can bear.
It is good that parents have a pension, but most of the parents of the post-80s do not have this benefit.
Third, marital pressure
1. Marriage pressure
For a variety of reasons, there are more and more elderly unmarried people, and they have always been regarded as outliers by everyone and discussed in various ways.
Living in such an environment, the heart will naturally be hit to a certain extent.
What's more, they will also face the urging of their parents and relatives to marry, which is simply a two-way pressure.
2. The feelings of husband and wife are not compatible
Qian Zhongshu once said: "Marriage is like a besieged city, people on the outside want to go in, and people on the inside want to come out." ”
Older men and women who have not yet crossed the border city are deeply affected by marriage urging, and those who are already in the besieged city may not all have a good life.
Couples are not in harmony and live in quarrels every day, which is also the status quo of many people.
Home is not a haven for them, but a place to be afraid.
Fourth, be influenced by others
Some people's negative emotions are caused by the influence of others.
Gossip of others: People often say that they will go their own way and let others say it, but many people can't do this at all.
They care so much about other people's eyes that they are miserable.
Comparison psychology: As soon as you see that the people around you are better than yourself, you are very uncomfortable, and then you are immersed in pain, which is the psychological burden brought by jealousy.
Emotional infection: There is a person full of negative energy around, so he also unconsciously becomes a negative energy explosion.
Third, how to eliminate negative emotions
First, about work
Everyone faces stress at work, but not everyone gets depressed because of work.
01 Enhance psychological endurance
Failure is a very normal thing, where does success come from without failure?
Don't think about it because you can't find a suitable job for a while, life is a long way, and you have to experience a lot of things.
Only by enhancing self-psychological endurance can we go further and meet the dawn of tomorrow.
02 Choose the environment that suits you
As long as a person is good at it, it is impossible to find a job, and some people are like this because they are not high or low.
Since you have found yourself repeatedly hitting a wall in your work, it is better to change the environment.
If you can't get into a high-class post, you start from the grassroots level, and if you can't get into a big city, you go to a small city.
Do everything according to your ability, and you will find that work is not as difficult as you think.
Second, about life
If you want to solve the problems of life, you must prepare in advance, and preparing for the rain is the wisdom of Chinese.
01 Buy a house and buy a car don't be strong
Some people can not be so tired, and the reason why they are so tired is entirely because they are too strong.
Punching a swollen face and being fat will only make yourself miserable, and you can do as much as you want to do as much as you want, so that you can make your life easier.
You don't necessarily have to live in a big city, and small cities are not bad, but you really can't go back to your hometown.
Choose a life environment that suits you, not the one you want.
02 Having a baby requires doing what you can
Although the three-child policy has been opened, the heartache and effort of raising children is not something that everyone can afford.
The matter of having several children must be determined according to their own ability, do not compare, and do not fight for sons and daughters.
03 Buy social security in advance
Since you know that the pension is hard, buy social security in advance and make corresponding preparations.
We have no way to control what has already happened, but we can try to avoid what might happen in the future.
Third, about marriage
About marriage urging: Don't be too influenced by others, just be yourself.
If you want to get married, try to find your partner, and live your own life if you don't want to get married for the time being.
Don't live in pain because of others.
About couple feelings: Emotional discord is only temporary, and if you don't resolve it, you will live in pain forever.
Now that we have chosen to be together, we should not run away from it, but should find a way to solve it.
Whether it's sitting down to talk or trying to change slowly from yourself, it's better than doing nothing at the moment.
Fourth, be yourself
1. Eliminate comparison
Many people's pain stems from comparison, in fact, it does not have to be so, and what kind of life others live does not mean that you have to be the same.
Everyone has their own life, and living their own life is better than anything else.
2, do not pay too much attention to other people's eyes
Man is a social animal, living in this world is to be discussed by others, no one is perfect, so no one is not said by others.
If you want to understand this matter, don't pay too much attention to other people's eyes, just go your own way.
3) Stay away from people who make you uncomfortable
It is better to stay away from those who are full of negative energy, or who will make you feel uncomfortable.
Emotions are contagious, and with people with positive energy, you can live happily.