Yue Yue became fascinated by playing the guzheng and pestered her mother to take her to the training class.
Seeing that her daughter wanted to learn an art course, her mother was very supportive. She signed up with Yue Yue and bought a guzheng. At this point, Yue Yue's enthusiasm is even higher.
"I'm afraid that the child will be fresh for a while, and he won't be able to stick to it for a few days." When my mother posted a video of Yue Yue playing a guzheng to the family group, a relative poured cold water.
Mom didn't say anything, just told Yue Yue that since she chose to learn guzheng, she had to insist on playing every day.
Yue Yue agreed.
Sure enough, after playing for more than a month, Yue Yue's enthusiasm became lower and lower, sometimes sitting in front of the guzheng, and he was stunned after playing a few times, or simply did not play on the grounds of "more work".
"Yue Yue was a bit out of shape in these two classes, and she wasn't as diligent as she was at the beginning." After a certain class, the Guzheng teacher said.
Unexpectedly, the teacher's public criticism made Yue Yue feel very wronged, and she suddenly cried, which embarrassed the teacher.
When she got home, she said with great enthusiasm that she would not learn the guzheng anymore and would never play again.
No matter how her parents persuaded her, or even criticized her, Yue Yue just wouldn't play.
Yue Yue was criticized by the teacher, and angrily said that he would not play the guzheng, and it can be seen that Yue Yue's heart is very fragile, a bit like an eggshell, which is broken at a touch.
There are not many children like Yue Yue in life, they can only listen to some praise, can not hear a little opposition; some children look proud, but their hearts are fragile, sensitive and inferior; some children can only accept success, and a small failure cannot bear it... These are all manifestations of "eggshell psychology".
Why is the psychology of children as fragile as eggshells?
Psychologists believe that 5-6 years old children, in a critical period of psychological development, at this stage, the changes in the body make children become troubled and chaotic, coupled with changes in the external environment, children can not balance the two well, so they become fragile, there is an "eggshell psychology".
The following external reasons deserve parents' attention:
1. Negative labeling effect
Parents are strict with their children, and once the child's performance does not meet the expectations of the parents, they will not choose their words and hit the child's self-confidence, such as, "Are you a pig brain, stupid to die."
Parents use stupid, stupid and other evaluations, invisibly label the child negatively, for a long time, the child is easy to form a fragile, unconfident character, resulting in "eggshell psychology".
2. Caused by coddling children
Some parents love their children in every way, not only are reluctant to criticize and discipline their children, but also can't see their children suffer a little, and they have taken on the responsibilities that should have been borne by their children.
As a result, children who are spoiled and grow up can't eat a little, can't accept a little criticism, have almost no ability to resist setbacks, and are psychologically fragile.
3. Improper praise
Children need encouragement and praise, but improper praise will make children form a fixed thinking, afraid of failure, just want to stay in the comfort zone, dare not challenge.
For example, when parents praise their children, they always say "how are you so good", "you are so smart", "you are awesome" and so on. Once the child accepts such praise and believes that he is smart and excellent, when he sees that others are better than him and has good results, he will be uncomfortable and cannot accept reality.
"Eggshell psychology" is a manifestation of the child's inner fragility, is a bad psychology, it will affect the development of the child's good character, which requires parents to pay attention to the child in life, do a good job of guiding.
Parents can start from the following two aspects to help their children stay away from the eggshell mentality:
First, improve your child's ability to resist setbacks.
If you want to get rid of the eggshell psychology, the main problem is to improve the child's ability to resist setbacks.
When children can face setbacks and have strong psychological endurance, eggshell psychology does not exist.
Parents should let go, withdraw their children from the greenhouse, let him face the real life, and try to solve some problems.
For example, if the child forgets to bring the exercise book, the parents should not send him every time, which can inspire the child to think of a way to avoid similar things from happening again. Or tell the child to accept the teacher's criticism first, and then think about whether there is still a way to find a way, for example, whether it is possible to share a set of exercise books with the same table, which is also a way to deal with the problem.
Instead, the child calls the parents directly as usual and asks them to send them over, or to throw a tantrum when they get home.
For example, if the toy is lost, the building blocks cannot be put together, the game is lost, etc., in the face of these unsatisfactory, parents can sit down and analyze with their children, in addition to frustration, what can be done.
When the child is analyzed and tries to solve the problem on his own (which may not be done perfectly at the beginning), the child will get a sense of accomplishment, which will enhance the child's self-confidence.
In practice again and again, the child's psychology will become more and more powerful.
Second, teach children to have a good attitude.
Everyone's life is not smooth sailing, do not be proud when you are in good times, do not be frustrated when you are in adversity, and maintain a good attitude, so that we can deal with it calmly whether we are in good times or bad times.
Children's lives are even more so, especially when they are young and psychologically fragile, and they need their parents to guide them well and cultivate their optimistic and open-minded mentality.
When he faces good times, such as being praised by teachers and accepting the envious eyes of his friends, he will not flutter.
When he faces adversity, such as unsatisfactory test scores, being snubbed by his friends, and not adapting to the new environment, he can face it calmly and actively find ways to solve problems.
Try to be optimistic and cheerful in the face of adversity, and embrace difficulties and setbacks with a good attitude, and the child will develop a strong aura, so as to stay away from the eggshell psychology.
On the way to the child's growth, he will encounter large and small difficulties and setbacks, when he has a strong psychology, is not afraid of setbacks, can accept criticism, the child has a strong psychological endurance, no longer a fragile eggshell, a touch will shatter.
Of course, this is inseparable from the encouragement and guidance of parents, but also need parents to know how to let go, let children experience, to face, face setbacks, overcome difficulties, in order to exercise their own ability, get growth.