Between colleagues, it is a nod of friendship.
Such feelings are better than strangers, but they are more distant than friends.
How to deal with the feelings between colleagues is a skill that everyone needs to master.
Online, a woman was dismissed for not attending a colleague's wedding, and her experience was enough to arouse our vigilance.
01. Should I attend a colleague's wedding?
Yang Yang, 24, works in the e-commerce department of a food factory as an assistant and has been working for more than 7 months.
Usually the relationship between colleagues is peaceful, not good, there is not much contradiction, she is not a lively person, in addition to work is to sit quietly, do not like to talk to people about the short things in the parents.
One day she just took the subway after work, received a message from a colleague, the group leader Tian Jie invited guests, booked a private room, and let everyone go to a party after work.
Yangyang did not want to turn back, she sent a message to her colleagues, explaining that she was already on the subway, and also transferred the past 200 as a gift, asking colleagues to hand it over on behalf of her and bring her heart to her heart.
The colleague agreed, Yang Yang thought that this matter had passed, although he did not like to be lively, but the human exchange was also done.
What she did not expect was that that night, her boss Xiong always lost his temper in the work group, saying: "The team must have the appearance of a team, and if the dinner is not in place, it will not be used to work." ”
Yang Yang saw the information, her heart was uncomfortable, but considering that Xiong zong may have drunk too much, and did not take this matter to heart, the next day she went to work normally, and as a result, the personnel informed her to go through the resignation procedures, and she knew that Xiong Zong was not joking.
In order to explain clearly, Yang Yang asked his colleagues to help say good things and prove that he had the intention to express themselves, but his colleagues told her: "In the unit, the bear is always a word, and no one can say it well." ”
Yang Yang went to his boss, hoping to give himself another chance, but Mr. Xiong said: "If you don't cooperate with the team activities, you just don't love the company, and I can't keep you." ”
She was very sad, crying and asking for help: "I have already given 200 yuan, what else do I want?" I really didn't know at first, I had already left work to get the notification, was it really my fault? ”
After watching Yang Yang's experience, netizens talked about it.
Some people said: "The boss is deliberately looking for trouble, maybe he and Tian Jie have a better relationship, think that you don't go, didn't give him face, such a boss doesn't follow, the pattern is too small." ”
Some people also said: "The workplace is a jianghu, it seems that there are few people, there are many things, you need to understand who is the core person, otherwise you don't know the reason for being wearing small shoes." ”
Some people also said: "I also do not like to participate in the dinner, some colleagues just went to work for a few days, they proposed to marry the guest, I do not know him, why go, love to drip it, anyway, I do not give red envelopes, dare to fire me, just find the big boss feedback." ”
Yes, colleagues really do not need to get too close, if the relationship is good, you can communicate more privately, if the relationship is average, there is no need to invite guests when getting married, do not add trouble to others, it is a kind of etiquette.
If you receive an invitation, you can completely refuse, encounter such a situation as Yangyang, just directly defend your rights, there is no need to get used to it, which company regulations, there is no requirement to attend a colleague's wedding.
02. Understand the "crab effect", no one wants you to be better
Some people wonder why when they encounter problems, colleagues refuse to help Yangyang to say justice?
To understand the cause, it is necessary to understand the "crab effect".
Some fishermen loaded a basket of crabs, without a lid, just put aside, passers-by are very strange, asking fishermen, are not worried that crabs will crawl away? The fisherman laughed and let him observe and understand.
The passerby crouched at the edge of the basket and saw that a crab was about to climb up, and just when he was in a hurry, the crabs below grabbed it and dragged the crab that had just climbed to the mouth of the basket down, and he watched for an hour, and none of the crabs could climb out.
This is the famous "crab effect", in the same environment, once a crab has a chance to pull out, there must be a similar kind of people to pull it back and let it return to the basket.
In life, the "crab effect" is also widely used, such as some people have strong ability, may be promoted, when the boss to investigate him, ask colleagues what they think of him, you rest assured, there must be someone will say bad things about you, and may be what you think is a good friend.
Believe me, no one will always look forward to your goodness, this is human nature.
When you work in general, you may be helped by colleagues when you encounter difficulties, but if you have similar work content and you are suddenly promoted, your colleagues will be uncomfortable and it is easy to do things that are pulled.
In another case, when you have a good relationship, when you are reprimanded by your boss or even fired, your colleagues may become indifferent to you or do things that hurt you in order to protect themselves.
You don't have to be sad, just learn to let go, through the event, you can also see through who is a real friend and who is nodding friends.
A writer once said: "I am originally enthusiastic, but the world is cold, people's hearts are unpredictable, and it is difficult to escape the cold and thin end after all." ”
The friendship of gentlemen is as light as water, and the desire to have true feelings between colleagues is itself wishful thinking, because many colleagues are just passers-by in your life, breaking into your world to accompany you on a journey.
03. Step out of the shadows and don't grieve for the broken crock pot
Someone went to the market, and a crock pot on his shoulder fell and shattered.
He was still striding forward, and the people around him felt strange and quickly pulled him aside to see the crock pot, and he replied: "The crock pot has been broken, and I can't recover no matter how sad I am, so I might as well do the next thing." ”
Not grieving for a broken crock pot is a kind of wisdom.
People in this life, will encounter one kind or another unfair, this is the norm, we have to learn to let things pass, the more you can't put it down, the greater the sunk cost of investment.
Some people, don't deserve your sadness.
Some units are not worth your nostalgia.
Just like Yangyang's company, it is mandatory for employees to attend parties, and there is no communication in advance, which is itself disrespectful, and afterwards it will put on the hat of "disunity" to you, which is to demand you from the moral high ground.
You don't have to ask for perfection, complain directly to the labor department, fight for your own rights and interests, and then find another place, you can always find a suitable environment for your work.
In this world, we can't get the understanding and approval of everyone, but there is no need to deny ourselves because of the mistakes of others.
A wise person will know how to treat others with humility, and when encountering unfair things, he will dare to ask for his own ideas and keep the bottom line of being a person, that is, the April day on earth.
Give it a thumbs up and go! Do you think it is necessary for a colleague of average relationship to get married and have to attend a banquet? Welcome to leave a message to tell you your opinion~