01
This society will not always be the world of single-minded people.
Rural people need cooperative organizations, and everyone works together to develop breeding and breeding on a large scale in order to attract merchants from all over the world; factories need teams, division of labor and cooperation to have good products; even if it is a small restaurant, it also needs several employees to work together to attract diners.
Social guru Carnegie said: "Only 15% of a person's career success is due to his professional skills, and the other 85% depends on interpersonal relationships and external skills." ”
No matter how big a person's ability is, he can't hold up a piece of heaven, at most he can support a home. Learning to develop in groups, this is the trend of doing big things.
But how do you expand your network? You need to master some communication skills. People-to-people interaction begins with good speech, and then they can communicate, cooperate and benefit together.
02
First, say something that the other person is interested in.
People who like to fish know that if you want to get what type of fish, you must use the corresponding bait. Figure out what the fish likes to eat, and the difficulty of fishing is reduced.
You throw a bare iron hook into the water for days and no fish will be hooked. Don't think that everyone is Jiang Taigong, who can achieve the realm of "willing to be hooked".
Many years ago, Tom, an employee of an oil company in Michigan, wanted to become the number one salesman in the region, but there was a gas station, the situation was very bad, the business was very poor, everywhere was dirty, like a rope, pulling his "hind legs".
Tom communicated with the manager of the gas station many times and it didn't work.
One day, Tom dragged the manager to another gas station. Here, there is an endless stream of customers and the environment is very elegant. The machine that has been used for several years has been polished.
The manager bowed his head and walked away without saying a word.
There is no doubt that any manager wants to make a lot of money, but everyone's method is different. If you can replicate someone else's method, why not?
When Tom went to the gas station again, it had changed a lot. The sanitary conditions are better, the number of customers has increased, and the waiters are dressed cleanly and neatly.
When you're talking to someone, the first thing to think about is what they're interested in. That's what makes people attractive. If you talk to a person who likes to write and talk about swimming skills, it is simply out of touch, and others will frown.
Interest is the best old man and also a very friendly "guide".
03
Second, let the other party get the benefits.
In the "Chronicle of History", it is written: "The world is bustling, all for the benefit of the world, and the world is bustling, all for the benefit." ”
When dealing with people, coercion is illegal, but inducement is reasonable.
The afternoon before yesterday, I bought a few tomatoes at a supermarket. After paying the bill, I found that one of the tomatoes was rotten. I looked for teller theory.
The teller patiently explained to me.
I insist on returning the goods.
Our dispute attracted the attention of the person in charge. He said: "Tomatoes do have a rotten situation, but it is only on the skin that has juice and does not affect consumption. Well, take another tomato for you, which is compensation. ”
The matter was resolved satisfactorily.
The person in charge took the initiative to make profits and gained my favor. On the surface, supermarkets lose money, but in fact they make money. Because I will trust this supermarket more, I will continue to consume.
Some people say: "Friendship is actually an exchange of interests." ”
If you don't let anyone benefit from you, you're doomed to find a partner. Only by taking the initiative to make profits can we attract the attention of others and speak further.
04
Third, stimulate the desire of the other party to speak.
Perhaps, you have attended a dinner party where a group of people who are not very familiar get together. Before the dish was served, everyone was looking down at their phones and no one was silent. It was hard to wait for the food to be served, and everyone was just in a hurry to eat, eager to leave immediately.
The people around them, without the desire to speak, are doomed to be cold.
How to achieve "one stone stirs up a thousand waves"?
You have to pay attention to observation and see what others are doing. For example, if you are playing a game around you, you can take the initiative to ask what are the characteristics of this game and where to find the same model.
No one is silent all the time, it's just that they only communicate with the people they like.
Start with topics that others like, step by step, go deeper, and get to the point. This kind of chat will make you get what you want.
05
Fourth, take care of other people's emotions.
Everyone has emotions.
One might ask, why take care of other people's emotions? Who takes care of their emotions?
Because you need to take advantage of the value of others, you have to be kind to others and properly grievance yourself.
Two people with emotional outbursts, there is no way to cooperate. Only by taking the initiative to bow your head, like a sponge, absorbing the emotions of others, it is much easier to get along.
Let's say you go to your boss to talk about work and find that he's upset about something. You should put down the work things and express concern or sympathy for the worries of the boss.
Lover seven points, leave three points to yourself. Your love, in interpersonal communication, will eventually play a huge role - this is an emotional trump card.
06
Fifth, make yourself very "ignorant."
Socrates said, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing." ”
A person of infinite wisdom who admits his ignorance is a gesture of humility, not self-pity.
At the dinner table, you take the initiative to lower the wine glass, which is respect; when you speak, turn down the decibel, which is polite; when you pay dividends, you don't care about "zero", which is generosity; when others speak, you do not refute, this is affinity.
Some innocuous things, even if others say it wrong, don't point it out; point out the fault of others, turn a corner, be euphemistic, think like this - maybe others are not wrong?
Ignorance is not ignorance, but pretending to be confused, giving others steps, giving themselves a way to live.
07
Conclusion.
I like the saying: "Beggars are also people, and in order to survive, they may not avoid the cold and heat, sleep on the streets, and beg people." After your charity, they will be thankful, their spirit of working hard to survive, if they can learn what can not be done? ”
Be human, at any time, don't be condescending and complacent. You take the initiative to understand others, make friends with others, help others, and anything will become easy.
Think about it, a few heart-warming words, you can exchange for a harmonious environment, you can get the trust and support of others, why not enjoy it?
As the saying goes, "Bowing your head is millet, and holding your head high is a millet." ”
In interpersonal communication, putting away the "sharp edge" of words is reasonable and sparing, which is a high level of emotional intelligence and an opportunity for cooperation.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.