Light up yourself, illuminate the world, and the education of love is the future
I accidentally ordered a drama at the weekend, but I didn't expect to chase 16 episodes in one breath, and this small-cost TV series "Qiu Yanfu" made people very popular.
Although the title of the play is not new, the evaluation is low and high, and it has won the championship in Maoyan Network Broadcasting, accumulating 350 million views in the first 11 days of broadcasting.
The hostess is not conventional, a number of female partners are also good enough to see, coupled with the screenwriter's brain hole, each step can be reversed several times, and the chase can not stop at all.
But the most lamentable thing in the play is the mother-in-law Han who has been offline, although there are not many scenes, but as the netizens unanimously commented, Han's can be described as the "ceiling of the mother-in-law world", people are really too good.
Perhaps it is precisely because of the Han family that the heroine Qiu Yan is smart and astute and does not lose the bottom line, has courage and strategy but is not cold, and finally leads the family out of the predicament.
Counting the deeds of her mother-in-law Han, even as a modern person, she has to praise her way of education.
01 Responsible: dedicated teaching, key point planning
The heroine Qiu Yan was very bitter when she was a child, and some people compared her with Mo Lan in "Know It or Not", but Qiu Yan was even worse than Mo Lan, and Mo Lan at least had a mother who was dedicated to her, but Qiu Yan was disliked by her biological mother since she was a child.
No one cared about it for 3 days after birth, and when she encountered bandits on the road before entering the house, her mother lost her, and after she survived, she was thrown to her mother-in-law after entering the house.
Fortunately, the mother-in-law Han clan was very good, and really raised her as her own daughter.
Because she knew that her family was unreliable, coupled with the encouragement she received when she met the male protagonist when she was a child, Qiu Yan decided from an early age that she would read whatever books a man read.
In ancient times, when a woman's talentlessness was a virtue, this idea was already very rebellious, but the mother-in-law Han shi was very supportive.
He even concealed that his father bought a public case book for Qiu Yan, and also used the child's interest to teach Qiu Yan to recognize words and be reasonable.
Not only did he personally teach the children to recognize words, although they were trapped in the boudoir, they personally built sand table bonsai, grasslands and horses for Qiu Yan, and put the comfortable life in Qiu Yan's mind in front of her.
Later, she carefully selected a husband for the heroine Qiu Yan, and after being deceived into marriage, she argued according to reason, and after various means failed, she even tried to let Qiu Yan escape knowing the will, just for the happiness of the child.
This point of responsibility for children, let alone in ancient times, is also rare in modern times.
What the child has the will to do, it is necessary to help the child achieve it against all difficulties.
When learning encounters difficulties, they can start from the child's interest point to teach, do not hit the child's dream, and find ways to help the child realize the ideal world and help the child open up the pattern of insight.
At the critical juncture of the child's life, carefully check the pass.
When I was a child, I cultivated wholeheartedly, so that children can be independent and wise, and when they grow up, they will always be the backing of their children, so that children dare to pursue without concern, which is the image of a contemporary gentle and powerful mother.
02 Respect: The decision of the child, full support
On the surface, Han Shi took on the responsibility of raising and teaching Qiu Yan as a mother, but behind it was her respect for the child's wishes.
Only with respect is courage.
The reason why Qiu Yan dared to fight for the life she wanted must be inseparable from the respect that Han Shi gave her since childhood.
Qiu Yan chose when she was a child, and Han Shi also gave her full support, so that Qiu Yan was rich in heart and dared to do something from an early age.
Therefore, in the face of being forced to be martyred by her in-laws and her biological parents did not support her, Qiu Yan insisted on finding another way out for herself, even if she tried to enter the palace as a female official, Han Shi also took her into the palace with criticism.
Even if she didn't succeed later, every time Han's support would make Qiu Yan stick to her choices more and strengthen her determination to live better.
Including later, because of the obstruction of the male protagonist, the royal family sent the "Chastity Arch" to her, which was equivalent to blocking all the roads of Qiu Yan, and Qiu Yan actually did not give up.
When Han arranged for Qiu Yan to escape, he took the initiative to choose to go to her husband's house, which seemed to be because of the advice of her sister Qiu Min, but in fact, it was inseparable from Han's respect.
Mother Han has been thinking about Qiu Yan's happiness and respecting all her decisions, and the trust behind this makes it impossible for Qiu Yan to choose to run away alone, which is actually the source of Qiu Yan's responsibility to the family in the end.
With respect, children will be responsible for their own choices, not selfish, but willing to take responsibility.
Before her grandmother's death, Qiu Yan, because she knew that the death of her grandmother Han shi was actually the protection of the family by her grandmother and father, saw the responsibility of her mother Han shi, so Qiu Yan, who had always only considered herself, really decided to take on the responsibility of the family.
Here is actually a very important change for Qiu Yan, from working for her own happiness to the happiness of her family.
This is actually something that many of our parents lack. In fact, for the child, the courage to choose and the responsibility of the family sometimes come from the respect and support of his parents for each choice.
With this respect, children dare to choose, and they can learn to be responsible for their choices in their choices.
03 Empathy: Prioritize your child's feelings over the pros and cons of things
In fact, later in the plot, the younger sister Qiu Min is actually blackened, as a biological mother, she is responsible, but also not responsible.
It can only be said that as a mother, she protected her own daughter too well at the beginning.
Because Han Herself, as the daughter of a sinner, is unobtainable for freedom, and has talent herself, it is obvious that the encounter of Qiu Yan, a daughter of shu, can make her empathize more than her own daughter. This is actually Han's limitation.
She can understand Qiu Yan's heart of playing tricks for self-preservation and her own freedom, but it is difficult to empathize with a delicate woman who has no worries about food and clothing, and her parents love and protect her, which can only be said to be Qiu Yan's luck.
Han Shi has always seen Qiu Yan's struggle for fate, because this is also her inner struggle against fate, she can't fight, so she pins this struggle on her adopted daughter Qiu Yan.
Although the play has its special background, in fact, empathy is also the starting point of a good parent-child relationship.
Otherwise, as a parent, when the child is uncomfortable, you can't see it, you will only feel irritable; when the child is happy, you can't participate, there is no common emotional support, and the distance between the child and the child will only get farther and farther.
It is also because of Han's empathy that when Qiu Yan is faced with going to the temple, she will support Qiu Yan to find a way for herself.
When the family was proud to receive the royal plaque, she could see the disappointment and resistance in Qiu Yan's heart.
Because of empathy, we can see the true needs of children's hearts.
This is actually the biggest difference between the male protagonist Liang Yi and the male second Qin Xuan, because the experience is different, can not empathize, can not empathize, so the other party's all good, in the other side's view is all interference and obstruction.
There will be that sentence, and it is not easy to understand when encountering it.
But as parents, we have no choice, only by empathizing with the child and truly seeing the child's inner needs, can we really help the child.
Although the setting of the TV series is in ancient times, as the ceiling of the mother-in-law world, Han Shi really did a good job in doing the thing of Qiu Yan's mother.
Because of empathy, we can see the needs of the child; and because of respect, treat the child as an independent individual, support the child's decision, and also give the child inner strength.
With these two points, as a mother, her responsibility was put into practice, and she truly helped Qiu Yan become a knowledgeable, capable, and responsible person, and finally obtained a unique happiness.