Wen | condensed mother's understanding
The people take food as the sky, children should eat when they are hungry, and it should be a natural thing to eat well, but it has become a big thing for parents to worry about.
The 4-year-old Erbao has experienced such a stage, is very repulsive to eating, and will react fiercely when he hears the words "I want to eat", crying and saying "I don't want to eat".
It was hard to get to the dinner table, and it was all kinds of reluctance, picking and choosing, eating a few bites at random, running, and then began to be fed like a bird, without any strength.
The reason why children have no interest in eating, or even feel pain, is obviously the mistake of adults.
Disrupting a child's dietary rules: not eating when it's time to eat, and serving too many snacks when it's not supposed to eat.
When the child arrives at the meal point and does not eat well, the old man will chase the bowl and feed the food. There are also often cases of feeding and not eating, the child will be hungry after the pass, as long as they are hungry, there are a lot of snacks to serve.
After eating a lot of snacks, when it comes to the next meal, the child does not feel hungry and does not eat. Moreover, he knows that if he does not eat, there will be snacks and supplies, he will not be hungry, and he can be bold not to eat. And so on, making eating a big problem.
There is no respect for the child's self-feelings: the child is full, the adult thinks that he is not full, and always forces the child to eat.
The famous American pediatrician Benjamin Spark mentioned, "Every child is born with a set of exquisite physiological mechanisms that regulate the amount and type of food they eat to meet the needs of normal growth and development." ”
In fact, children eat more and eat less only they know best, but adults do not recognize children's ideas and often judge by their own feelings. If the child does not eat as much as other children, or does not eat as much as before, it will be particularly anxious and force the child to eat the same amount.
Such a practice has caused adverse interference to the child's psychology and physiology.
The child feels helpless, unable to resist, and is forced to accept the arrangement of the adult. The child's hunger perception is denied again and again, and the judgment of hunger and fullness gradually declines. When being fed, eating and playing, the battle line is lengthened, digestion while eating, and the portion of eating is maliciously magnified.
Have you implemented the above two practices? If the child also does not like to eat, it may wish to reflect on it.
In order to let the child eat well, I have also thought of many methods, and have achieved some stage results, but the child will indeed appear repeatedly, and need to constantly see the tricks.
In addition to letting the elderly and themselves change the habit of feeding, I practiced three small experiences, so that I respected the child's feelings, mobilized the interest in eating, solved the problem of children's eating is very effective, you can try to do it.
One pack
Pretending is to follow the child's learning, do the opposite, treat his body with the way of others, take the child's road, and let the child have no way to go.
If we incarnate as a child and imitate his performance, the child will see a bad side of himself and feel embarrassed in an instant. Children also have shame and like to be exaggerated rather than ugly. In order to prove your abilities and gain better recognition, start reversing your behavior.
For example, when Erbao was crying at dinner, I also cried, and the real scene was like this:
Erbao looked at the rice in the bowl and didn't want to eat it, and began to cry his nose, "It's not delicious, I don't want to eat these rice!" ”
I wasn't angry or annoyed, but I learned from him, dancing and exaggerating and crying, "Mm-hmm, it's not delicious, I don't eat!" ”
When Erbao saw this, he broke his nose into a smile and persuaded me: The rice is so fragrant, let's eat it together.
Two shun
Shun, is to follow the child's ideas and respect his feelings. He wants to eat as much as he wants, he decides for himself, and others do not interfere.
This allows him to gain self-esteem while also feeling that his actions are not a threat to others, and only affect himself. He can't control adults by not eating, his approach is deadly, and he can only choose to do what is good for him.
For example, Erbao said that he didn't want to eat, he wouldn't eat if he didn't eat, who was afraid of whom, and the real scene was as follows:
Erbao pouted, pushed the bowl, and said with anger, "I don't eat it!" ”
I was not nervous, nor did I persuade him, but pushed the boat along the water and told him softly: Good, you can not eat, hungry and no food, you are not hungry.
When Erbao heard this, he regretted it and sharpened it again: I am hungry, I eat!
He said and took the bowl again and ate it.
Three drives
To drive is to set an example for children. Children like to imitate, like to compete, like to accompany, and eat with children, rather than specially serving children to eat, can better drive children.
If we eat well, eat easily and happily, eat nutritiously, and have a disc action plate, children can easily do it in order to show their skills.
For example, the second treasure eats and rubs, picky eating is serious, not persuaded or coaxed, driven more effectively, the real scene is like this:
Grandpa used the radical method and told him: Don't eat, don't run in front of me.
Erbao was really driven up and accelerated the speed of eating. After eating for a while, ask Grandpa: Grandpa, are you still in front of me?
Grandpa said, "Oh, how did you get in front of me?"
Erbao continued to eat like a victorious general, and while eating, he said: "It's delicious."
In the end, be sure to eat a bowl of rice like an adult.
A few considerations
When taking children to dinner, there is often a person in the family who likes to nag, can't hold his breath, and can't help but coax and chase. If you want to ensure that your child eats well, you must first eliminate this interference.
We can whisper to this person that we have the ability to manage the child's meal, at first he may not listen, but also secretly confrontation, we just talk a few more times, our actual action will definitely change his approach.
If he can't help it, he can be told to finish his meal quickly and wait in another room so that we can safely implement the plan.
In addition, children can eat well are encouraged, if the child eats well, we must immediately encourage, so that children can get the pleasure of being recognized, stimulate the desire to continue to eat well.
We can tell the child specifically: It's good that you eat vegetables, so that you can pull the poop well. You eat fish, it's good, and you'll get smarter later. You eat rice, it's good, you have strength.
Don't underestimate the child, he can understand these praises in his favor. For example, Erbao will say to the clever, "I will know more." ”
epilogue
Teacher Yin Jianli has said that the basic principle of life skills training is that parents themselves must first have concentration, do not go to the package in a hurry, and complain about the children while doing the package. Otherwise, there is no benefit to anything other than reducing the child's interest in doing things on his own and reducing his self-confidence.
In the matter of letting the child eat well, it is not difficult for the child to eat obediently, believe in the child, respect his feelings, and enhance his interest.
I'm @Gelma Goku
Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of parenting experience
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