Every day there are heart-warming little jokes:
1. Late one night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, suddenly there was a "wow" sound from behind. The woman turned her head to see that a naked man was chasing after her. The woman was so frightened that she pulled out her leg and ran, and the man behind her chased after her. No, there was a dead end in front of her, and the woman was on her knees crying and pleading: "Do whatever you want, just ask you not to kill me." Then now you start chasing me."
2, my mother heard the news of my smoking, told my father, my father asked ok?
My mom shook her head, and my dad said look at me.
After eating, my dad handed me fifty yuan to buy three boxes of soft Yellow Crane Tower, I said not enough, there was still 7 yuan left, my dad nodded to my mom: "Ok, fight." ”
3, just received a text message, after reading the excitement is broken, the original Terminator's story is true, it is simply the peak of life. Since having a mobile phone, he has won the lottery 137 times, with a total of 72.6 million yuan, 68 various iPhones, 36 laptops, 27 cars, his son has been abducted and sold 23 times, he has been summoned by the court 31 times, and his bank card has been abnormal 31 times... You sleep first, and I'm going to save the world...
4. "Hello, do you want to get a haircut?" So which hair stylist do you want to serve you? Is it Kevin, Jack, Eric, or Lucy? "I don't even know, so let's lucy." "Well, okay, wait a minute. Lucy, guest number 10 wants a haircut, Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!... Liu Jifen someone wants to cut his head!"" yes! Here it comes!"
5, KTV, I and my cousin and a few buddies take turns to sing, singing is also counted, but also pinch the voice to sing women's songs, just sing women's songs, actually sing soda green songs...
In the end, my daughter-in-law and cousin and cousin and girlfriend really couldn't listen to it, grabbed the microphone, and yelled a song "Jing Loyal to the Country" in their throats!
6, my friend said to me: My mother does not know what di si means? I said: Didn't you explain it to your aunt? Friend: Explained, after I told her a few of your deeds, my mother understood.
7, Zhu Dabao went on a blind date, and when he returned, his mother asked: "Dabao! What about the girl I saw today? Zhu Dabao: "She is too understanding, but for my sake, I invited her to dinner, she knew that I brought less money, and offered to eat the cheapest." "What a kind and thrifty girl!" What did she say to eat? "She said to me, 'Since you've brought a hundred, eat a fart!' ”
8, my wife came back from a business trip, saw the photos of our classmates party, and my first love sat next to me side by side. Wife: I know you can't forget this fox spirit! Me: Where do you want to go? But sitting together, what does that mean? The wife slapped her over: It means that you owe it!
9, a centipede is reading a comic book in the room, the centipede mother suddenly broke in, the centipede frightened put her hands behind her back, the centipede mother said: Centipede, have you seen my son?
(Jokes and pictures are from the Internet, if there is infringement contact immediately deleted)
