Adler, Freud, and Jung, known as the big three of psychology, were the three great psychologists of the 20th century.
Freud: Pioneered psychoanalytic theory, known as the "father of psychoanalysis".
Jung: The founder of analytical psychology, one of the originators of modern psychology, the famous "character determines destiny" stems from what he said.
Adler: Pioneer of humanistic psychology, founder of individual psychology, father of modern self-psychology, also known as the "father of self-enlightenment".
I personally like Adler's ideas, his individual psychology is very practical in today's advocating independence and freedom, the most important thing is to be able to solve people's current troubles.
For example, Adler's several assertions:
1. Teleological rather than causal
2, people's troubles are all due to interpersonal relationships
3, the so-called freedom is to be hated by others
Adler's solution to the problem of relationships:
1. Separation of topics and how to judge whose subjects it is
All interpersonal conflicts arise from arbitrary interference in other people's problems or interference in one's own subjects.
Adler said there is a need to distinguish between "my subject" and "other people's subject." And how to distinguish it? It is only necessary to judge who will be the ultimate cause of something or who should be ultimately responsible for something.
If it is someone else's problem, it cannot be interfered with, it needs to be faced by the parties themselves, and all we can do is give advice or assistance. As the proverb goes, "You can take a horse to the water's edge, but you can't force it to drink." On the contrary, the subjects that belong to oneself cannot be interfered with by others.
2. Establish a horizontal relationship rather than a vertical relationship
When educating children, it is generally believed that there are two methods: the criticism of the education method and the praise of the education law. But the position of Adler psychology is: neither criticism nor praise.
Manipulating children is to put children and themselves in a "vertical relationship", and Adler opposes all "vertical relationships" and advocates that all interpersonal relationships be regarded as "horizontal relationships", that is, equal relationships, including parent-child relationships.
The right way to do this is to help children build confidence that they are "able to learn" and improve their ability to cope with problems independently. See your child as someone equal to you, establish a "horizontal relationship" with him, guide him more, and encourage him.
3) We only live in the here and now
Life is a series of moments, and we only live in this moment. What happened in the past has nothing to do with your "here and now," and what the future holds is not a matter for "now and now." It is most important to do what you can do now.
