Source: Uncle Kay Parenting (ID: yuerjinhualun)
Author | Ren Pingsheng
Not long ago, and hair small party.
She spoke of her distress.
Now because of the job transfer,
I have a lot of things on my hands every day,
There's so much to do when you get home.
For accompanying children, there is a feeling of tiredness and "poor donkey skills".
After more than an hour at a time, I want to do my own thing
I'd love to stuff an iPad in my child's hand for a clean one.
She asked me:
How did you bring your children?
Will you always be in a good mood to play with your children?
What can play be conducive to the growth of children, and parents will not be too tired?
In the world of parenting, there is a very interesting term,
It's called "Golden Hour.",
That is, an hour before the child goes to bed,
Parent-child interaction,
The effect of doubling will be obtained.
Many parents have a misunderstanding about companionship,
In fact, how much time to spend is not the most important,
And quality is the most important.
Grasp the time of the hour before bedtime,
Children will also grow up well.
Read stories to your child to put to sleep
During this time before the child goes to bed,
Often the calmest time,
Your child's concentration will also be higher than during the day.
Good understanding of the content of the story,
The sensitivity to words is also very strong.
So
Read stories to children at this time,
For the cultivation of children's reading ability,
It will have very good results.
A psychologist once said:
"Kids who can't read are potential poor students."
Reading can indeed be of great help to children.
We can often see many celebrities on the Internet posting photos of their children reading books.
In Huang Lei's home,
There are always a lot of books in it.
It is already a habit to take your child to bedtime reading.
Another example,
Sun Li and Deng Chao advocate natural parenting,
For children has always been a policy of free range,
But tell your child bedtime stories every day,
But it was an indispensable habit in her family.
Sun Li posted on Weibo:
The most "afraid" thing about myself is to wait and tell bedtime stories to herself and Xiaohua.
I believe
She has her own joy and pride in the growth of her children.
Such a precious time before going to bed,
Tell stories for children,
Not only can it enhance parent-child communication,
It can also create a sense of intimacy that is unique only between you and your child.
The American Academy of Pediatrics believes that:
Children under 6 years of age,
Listen to your parents often tell bedtime stories.
It will directly affect the child's learning performance after kindergarten and the academic performance after school.
Actually, there's a reason for that.
Because 0-6 years old is a critical period for children's language development,
Listen to more stories,
Not only can children learn the correct pronunciation,
Master a certain vocabulary,
You can also learn some rules of group words or sentences,
This can quickly improve your child's language skills.
More importantly,
The story covers all the learning elements of the child's development process,
From physical, psychological to interpersonal development,
This can greatly promote the development of children's brains.
In life, there are often parents who reflect that their children seem to have "no ears" in class.
Learning new knowledge is slow to respond,
It takes several times to understand,
Lack of organization when speaking,
Poor language organization skills,
Often answer questions that are not asked...
In fact
All this is probably because the child is in early childhood,
Read less,
Not enough "auditory-perceptual ability" has been established.
And a good story,
It can also reshape the child's inner values,
When the child listens to the story,
Will imagine themselves as characters in the story,
For example, he is a hero who defeats monsters
This will also help the child to become stronger,
Inner strength grows.
Communicate with your child more before going to bed
There was a female writer,
Write about the warmest childhood memories in your own memory:
Mother would go into her bedroom at night,
Take a glass of milk and put it at the head of her bed,
And will smile and tell her to ask:
Baby, is there anything happy to tell me today?
She would exchange secrets with her mother before going to bed,
For example, whose gift you received, or the rainbow you saw on the way out of school.
She said,
Most of the time, it's little things.
But looking back now, it is full of happiness.
"Did you have a good day?"
"What did you learn today?"
In fact, parents pay attention to their children's inner emotional feelings before going to bed,
It can bring a great sense of security to the child.
On the contrary, if you always tell your child what to eat and what to do before going to bed, you have not finished your homework.
Instead, it will push the child away.
Friend Suzuko is busy,
Every day after returning from work,
Start doing housework, packing up your things,
The tone of speech to the child is also more blunt,
Favorite words,
It's basically "Hurry up and finish your homework."
Slowly,
She noticed that her daughter's communication with them was starting to get a little different.
For example, a child will say directly to his father:
"Can you pour me a glass of water?"
He would even say directly to his uncle's 2-year-old cousin:
"You're so annoying, don't cry."
After she talked to me,
I suggested to her,
You can finish your work at home,
Spend half an hour chatting with your child,
During this time,
Let the child share what happens every day,
Allow the child to express themselves freely.
She took my advice,
Before the child goes to bed,
She began to ask the child if there was anything happy or sad about the day.
She found that
It turns out that even if the child is small,
In fact, there will be troubles,
Friction when playing with children,
The loss of not being named by the teacher in class
For children, it is actually a big thing.
When the daughter tells happy things every day,
She just hugged the child.
When the child tells himself about the loss
She would comfort her gently.
All in all, this hour before bedtime,
She lets the child tell her inner feelings unscrupulously.
The tone of the child's speech is no longer as blunt as before.
And even after she comes back from work,
Ask her if she would be tired today.
Susan Harter, a psychologist at the University of Denver, said:
Children who are concerned by their parents,
When you grow up, you internalize positive attention.
Treat yourself with the attitude of your parents towards yourself.
The child before going to bed,
The mood is relatively stable.
The murmur of this moment,
It will be more efficient than usual communication.
Once this habit is formed,
Not only are the warmest memories between parents and children,
It will also help children develop a healthier personality.
Praise your child before going to bed
Not long ago I went to the kindergarten to pick up the children,
The child's kindergarten teacher said to me:
He was able to dress himself well every day after his nap.
I'm a little happy.
It turns out that this little guy can already dress himself in kindergarten.
All this is due to my praise for him every night.
I don't spend much time with my kids every day.
But at night, half an hour before going to bed,
We often have such conversations.
I put my arms around him and said to him:
"Baby, I want to praise you today."
Because you don't need your parents to help you today, you can take a shower by yourself. ”
He replied to me:
"Yes, I can still get dressed after washing."
After he was praised, he became more energetic.
"Mom, the last time you weren't home, I folded my own clothes?"
As he spoke, he would also come out of the bed and turn the sweater into a neat piece of "little tofu".
I continue to commend him:
"Son, you're so awesome!" Wouldn't you be able to get dressed yourself tomorrow? ”
"Yes!" The little guy answered happily.
The next day, he got up and dressed alone.
After wearing it, I also deliberately ran to the living room to confirm with me:
"Mom, do you think I can get dressed by myself?"
Sticking to the "good behavior journal" as a kind of bedwork has indeed benefited a lot.
Today when you come back from grocery shopping with your mother,
You helped your mother with the apple and the meat,
It's manhood.
Mom heard Grandma say you donated 5 yuan of pocket money to a grandfather on the road,
It was really amazing.
I see you ate a lot of greens today,
Wait for you to get higher and higher,
You can protect your mother.
Mom came back from work,
Seeing that you put all the storybooks in the bookcase,
It's great.
In fact, this is a very low-cost way of education.
If you don't have much time to spend with your child,
Then you can use this way.
Children who are praised before going to bed,
It's easier to fall asleep with a good mood.
Relevant psychological studies have shown that:
Children who are in a bad mood before going to bed,
Easy to wake up at night,
Sleep is also prone to increased.
In the long run, it is very likely that children will have a bad mood.
That is to say,
Want to let children grow up healthily,
We spend an hour,
It is especially important to establish a gentle, regular sleep ritual for your child.
Finally, may we all influence our children with our best living conditions,
Spend the most time with our children.
This article is reproduced in Uncle Kai Parenting (ID: yuerjinhualun), focusing on the scientific parenting of 0-6 year old babies.