In the past, there were more children and fewer parents, the overall poverty, parents were busy with their livelihood, and children would grow up day by day.
Now, there are fewer children and more parents, the conditions have improved, and several adults are circling around a child, still complaining that the child is "too difficult to bring".
Why?
Xiaobian sorted out the 7 reasons why Chinese parents are tired of raising babies, parents, see if they lie guns?
1
Expect too much from your child
In the vast majority of Chinese families with children, children are the center of the center. Parents revolve around their children all day, planning everything for their children, never being born, born, going to kindergarten, going to primary, secondary school, and high school, until going to college, working with children, getting married, buying a house, and having children on their own, almost without a day's interruption.
How can you not be tired after decades of exhaustion?
The root cause of such tiredness lies in the fact that parents have too high expectations of their children, including both the expectations of their children's own development and the expectations of their children to return to their parents.
With such high expectations, the pressure is not only on parents, but also on children. But why should we expect so much from our children? Isn't it already good that he can become an independent, autonomous, and happy adult?
If parents can see this, put aside all the expectations of children's external fame and fortune, and care about the peace and satisfaction of children and parents themselves, parenting life will be much easier.
2
People outside of their parents are involved too much
We often see that foreign parents, pushing one on a stroller, holding one in their arms, holding one in their hands, two people, or even one person, can bring a small group of babies.
The typical scene of a Chinese family is a team of people, with a baby, parents and mothers to take care of, grandparents and grandparents waiting, and even followed by a nanny aunt carrying a large bag of small bags for logistical support, pomp and battle, almost can catch up with the emperor out on the tour.
Let's take an analogy. A small family, like a company, originally Mom and Dad themselves should be wholly shareholders, the highest person in charge, have the right to make decisions on various affairs.
However, many families have accepted various "investments" from their elders - funding to buy a house, serving the confinement, helping to bring a baby, etc., so grandma, grandpa, grandpa, grandma because of their "investment", have more or less ownership of the family, becoming "shareholders".
As a shareholder, they must express their opinions, participate in decision-making, and some also require themselves to have "one-vote veto power". Such a governance structure makes the original simple family affairs become extremely complicated, as the head of the family, how can the parents and parents not be tired?
Even worse, some parents do not even guarantee the status of the head of the family, and their own family affairs still need to be left to their parents, so everyone is more laborious and full of contradictions.
3
The heart of comparison is too heavy
Other children have gone to various tutoring classes, do we want to go to school? If not, will the child lose at the starting line?
Other children are eating hundreds of pieces of foreign milk powder, we do not eat, will it affect the development of children?
Other children are wearing famous brands, big brands, we don't buy, will we be laughed at poorly?
Others, others, others... In the eyes of quite a number of parents, they see too many others at all times, what they do and how they do it, and often take what others do and how to do it as a guideline and guide.
You must always look at others, and you must always try to keep up, so as not to fall behind, so how can you not be anxious and tired?
But others are others, we are us, we have our own principles, our own choices, our own ways of behaving, why should we run after others?
I believe that parents can see this, and the hard work on the road of parenting will save a lot.
4
Meddle too much in the affairs of children
Parents want to do their best for their children, but often they interfere too much in their children's affairs and cultivate children who cannot be autonomous from childhood to adulthood.
Children go to school, help carry school bags, remember homework; children write homework, parents accompany and stare; what tasks are assigned by the teacher, often the children have not yet figured out what to do, parents have rushed to pounce on them and helped the children complete. Not to mention staring at the children eating, dressing, bathing, going to the toilet, these daily eating and drinking Lasa.
Children who are "taken care of" in this way are almost left with only two things in life, such as going to class and attending interest classes, and they cannot develop the ability to learn independently, nor can they develop the ability to live independently, so their parents have to take care of them, wait, and be tired.
Only by cultivating children's autonomy from an early age, including independent life, independent learning, independent reading, and independent emotions, can parents achieve real ease. This is not to be lazy, but to let the child truly grow as an independent individual, free to grow up and become a better self.
5
Information overloaded and lack of opinion
Chinese parents are tired of raising children, in addition to the reasons mentioned above, there is a reason that is not so obvious, but it is very certain that it exists, that is, exposure to too much information, but lack of opinion on how to raise children.
Here seeing that the child needs prenatal education, they hurry to learn to do prenatal education; where they see that the child needs early education, they quickly take the child to go to various early education classes; here they see that the newborn needs swimming exercise, so they take the baby to the baby swimming pool; there see that the child wants to make up for this and that, and they hurry to buy it for the child to eat.
A lot of time and effort is spent gathering as much information as possible, and then running around with that information.
Parenting life requires a certain degree of "disconnection". We don't actually need so much information, more importantly, through independent reading, learning, forming their own "opinions", I know what kind of methods are good, I know what to do, I know which of my own practices to adhere to, which methods to debug.
In this way, there is no need to be overwhelmed and overwhelmed by overloaded information, and it can take a concise, effective and constant approach in parenting life, and the whole process will be much simpler and easier.
6
Dad was too involved
There is a very sharp saying, called "widowed parenting", which refers to the situation in which the father does not participate in parenting and is absent from the growth of the child.
Fathers do not participate in bringing children, and taking children is a matter for mothers alone, which is probably the norm in many Chinese families, and it is also an important reason why quite a lot of mothers feel that they are too tired to take their children.
Parents bring their babies together, not only share the specific work of parenting life, but also discuss various issues about children of all sizes, draw consensus opinions, and then put them into action together.
The advantages of this are that the workload can be reduced through sharing, and the second is that both the child and the parents can establish an intimate relationship, of course, more importantly, the common companionship of the parents makes the child's psychology and personality develop more healthy and sound.
7
Consumption is not rational enough, causing excessive economic pressure
The last and most unavoidable reason for the tiredness of raising children is financial stress. Some parents one-sidedly believe that they should do their best to give their children the best, and the consumption is not rational enough, causing excessive economic pressure.
There is one case like this:
An ordinary wage-earner father bought a dress for his three- or four-year-old daughter for 700 yuan. 700 pieces of a skirt, of course, is likely to be a good quality and design, and children wear it, it may be really beautiful.
However, mom and dad don't consider their own affordability, blindly consume like this, how long can they persist, how can they not feel the pressure is huge?
As the saying goes, "a child has ten acres of land", raising a child from a small baby who falls to the ground to an adult, to say that it is not hard at all, it is certainly not realistic, but hard work does not equal pressure and exhaustion. We have seen parents who are too tired to bring their children, and we have also seen many parents who feel relaxed and happy with their babies.