The peaceful coexistence of parents and children is simply too important, it is related to the physical and mental health of family members, family happiness and quality of life.
So, how can parents and children coexist peacefully?
Article 1: Mutual respect
This can be listed as a golden principle.
It is very important to respect each other from the other side's position and perspective, but many parents can't do this, for example, parents often throw away some things from their children, which are useless in the eyes of adults, but they may be of great significance to children, and being thrown away will make children particularly sad.
Every life is an independent individual, with its own needs, feelings and thoughts, and if these needs, feelings and thoughts are always ignored, denied and suppressed, mutual respect cannot be discussed, and peaceful coexistence is unlikely.
There is a very good passage in the Lebanese writer Gibran's prose poem "Children": "You can give them love, but you cannot give them thoughts, because they have their own thoughts; you can shade their bodies, but you cannot shade their souls, because their souls live in tomorrow's house, which you cannot imagine in your dreams." ”
Parents are bows, children are arrows, arrows must eventually shoot into the distance, children must eventually leave their parents' side.
Parents should respect the child's independent personality and the right to grow, do not do the substitution, do not overprotect, do not worry about it, the child's growth and happiness are "their own affairs", must be experienced and realized by themselves.
Article 2: Do not beat people, do not scold people
We often hear a saying: "Hitting is kissing, scolding is love; knife mouth, tofu heart." ”
This is actually sophistry and excuses.
In true love, there is no violence, only intimacy; there is no sound and color, only harmony.
"Hitting the child, scolding the child" must make the child sad, must be not conducive to the peaceful coexistence of parents and children, a child who has suffered domestic violence since childhood, it is difficult to form a healthy personality, violence will not only bring him physical pain, but more serious is to leave psychological scars, and the scars caused by scolding are difficult to fade.
The third rule: no comparison, no nagging
Comparison and nagging are common behaviors of many parents, and "who's next door and whose children are how" is a spell that gives all children a headache. Ms. Qin Wenjun, a children's literature writer, wrote "Cousin Driving", which tells such a thing: "The protagonist's mother often nags his cousin's various goodnesses, and the protagonist overhears his cousin's mother nagging his various goodnesses. ”
Many children originally wanted to do something themselves, and when they heard adults nagging, they were unwilling to do it, which was a rebellion caused by nagging.
Mark Twain once told a story that once he went to a fundraising speech, and he wanted to donate money, but the speaker nagged endlessly, and as a result, he not only did not donate money, but also took some money from the donation box.
Article 4: Praise more, give more gifts
Words of affirmation, time invested, gifts of the heart, actions of service, and physical contact are the actual manifestations of love.
Praise and gift-giving are great ways to bring people closer together, because everyone has a need to be recognized and cared for by others.
Article 5: Not willful, not stubborn
Willfulness and stubbornness, in essence, are self-contained and refuse to grow, which is not only annoying, but also prone to conflict, which is not conducive to peaceful coexistence.
Only by constantly learning and growing can we meet a better self and thus meet better children.
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