When the parents suddenly leave without telling the child, the child does not know when the parents appear again, the heart will think, the parents do not want themselves, then the TA will choose to cry the way to vent their emotions, is the performance of insecurity.
The term security was first coined by psychologist John Bobby, and later tested by psychologist Harry Harlow in a famous monkey experiment.
Harlow isolated the cubs from their mothers and placed the two fake mothers in the cubs. The two fake mothers, one made of steel wire, with a bottle on the chest; the other wrapped in falange and without a bottle.
Unexpectedly, when the little monkey was hungry, he ran to the tightrope mother and drank a few sips of milk, and then quickly ran back and hugged the flannel mother tightly.
According to the principle of "milk is mother", the little monkey's approach is obviously illogical, but from a psychological point of view, this is quite normal, because the flannel mother is warm, warm and soft.
The harsh truth is that these monkeys not only can't integrate into normal ethnic life when they grow up. They have a cold temperament and refuse to get along and mate with any kind.
This somewhat brutal study reveals an important fact. Just feeding a child is not enough. Only when children feel the love and companionship of their parents can children feel safe and live a happy life.
Therefore, parents should understand the characteristics of their children's life development, express love with their children with stable emotions, and take care of and understand their children spiritually, so that children can gain enough security.
So what should we do to improve our child's sense of security?
1. In front of the child, create a family atmosphere of family harmony and parental love for the child; the parents are positive and optimistic, upright and brave.
2, cultivate the child's independence, the child himself can do what he can do to encourage the child to do it himself, self-care ability and independence will increase the child's self-confidence.
3, do not compare the child with other children, encourage the child to be himself, tell the child that no matter when, the parents are all around him and love him.
4, give the child more opportunities to try, experience and adventure activities, no matter how the child does, tolerate his mistakes and failures.
5, no matter when we believe in children, it is not the children who do well and let us believe, but our trust makes children do better; believe in the power of "believing".