The Japanese novelist Kotaro Isaka once said:
"It's terrifying to think that parents don't have to go through exams."
Surprisingly, the seemingly impossible thing of "parents holding a certificate to work" was actually predicted by the novelist to succeed.
Some time ago, Zhejiang Digital Parent School proposed to try to implement the parent learning points system, so that parents can hold a certificate after the exam has become a reality.
Subsequently, the incident of "parents holding a certificate to work" triggered a heated discussion among 80 million netizens, and a large part of netizens believed that "parents holding a certificate to work" was very necessary.
Why?
In real life, some children are optimistic and sunny, and some children are sad and depressed.
It's not that parents want to deliberately hurt their children, it's just that because they are immature, a lot of their behavior is unqualified.
Self-examination form of unqualified parents' behavior published by People's Daily!
Are you qualified?
Are you qualified as a parent?
After the "double subtraction" lands, children have more time to return to the family, how to be a parent? Undoubtedly, it has become a "problem" in front of many parents!
At present, although parents do not need exams, they must insist on learning, insist on reflection, and be responsible for their children's lives.
"People's Daily" once summed up a self-examination form of unqualified parents' behavior, self-examination, whether these unqualified behaviors have appeared in your family education?
1. Give your child special treatment
2. The child makes a mistake and protects him in person
3. Pay too much attention to the child
4. Easily meet unreasonable requirements
5. Allow the child to be lazy
6. Beg your child
7. Package substitution
8. Make a fuss
9. Deprivation of independence
10. Fear of crying
Parents who often have the above behaviors pin all their time, energy, and hopes for life on their children, do everything and compromise everything, not only do not cultivate their children to look like they want, but finally get only the child's distance and disrespect.
Wang Renping, a parenting expert, said: "Changes in children's behavior are often just a by-product of changes in parents' attitudes. Expect what changes the child has, first let yourself be that change, change our attitude and way of treating the child, the child will naturally change. ”
Instead of focusing all on the child, it is better to improve yourself and learn from time to time, and if you want a qualified child, it is better to let yourself be qualified first.
Parents are not naturally
Qualified parents are something to learn
No one is born to be a parent, just as children learn to walk in stumbling, parents also need to constantly communicate with their children and constantly reconcile with themselves in order to become qualified parents.
Learn the following three points, you can give yourself a score of 60.
Learn to manage emotions and be a living person!
Parents' emotions envelop the child's entire world.
Parents are positive and optimistic, just like the sun shines on the whole world of children, so that children have a sense of security, let them feel full inside, and have enough confidence and energy to develop themselves.
Parents are negative and gloomy, releasing pessimistic emotions, it will make the child's world rainy, they will lack of security, early exposure to anxiety factors, young children's ability to deal with emotions is still insufficient, will seriously affect physical and mental health.
Writer Mo Yan's description of mother in his essay "Mother":
"What makes me unforgettable is that my mother, who is full of sorrow, actually hummed a small song in her mouth when she worked hard."
In their poor family, the hardest and hungriest is undoubtedly the mother, but the optimistic mother gives Mo Yan a sense of security and hope for the future.
As the psychologist Dr. Beyman puts it: "A point of view leads to a quantum field, and if the parents' view of the world and life goes from negative to positive, then not only will our own happiness index increase, but even the children in our eyes will become more cute and more energetic." ”
Therefore, parents are living people, and children will draw strength from their parents' natural self-trust and self-confidence and optimism. As a parent, the first step to learning is to manage your emotions and make yourself optimistic.
Learn to be self-driven and be an example for your child.
Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky once said: "The behavior of parents themselves has a major impact on children.
Do not think that only when you talk to your child and teach and instruct your child, you are educating your child. In every moment of your life, even when you are not at home, you are educating your children.
In fact, it is not difficult to educate children? The principle is simple!
What you do, the child will do.
What you are like, the child is like.
You want your child to study hard, so you have to recharge your batteries all the time.
You want your child to keep his promises, and you have to do what you say.
A parent with the ability to reflect and learn is the most sufficient confidence in the growth of children.
If you want to be self-motivated, you need your parents to drive themselves first. This process may not be easy, but if you can enrich yourself through timely reflection and continuous learning, it is easier to harvest excellent children and obtain a happy and happy family.
Learn to see the process and not just focus on the results.
First-rate parents value process, and third-rate parents value results.
Before seeing netizens say: I dropped out of school early, my parents only cared about my own scores, and if I didn't take the test well, I was extremely nervous, and I didn't want to go to class, so I could only drop out.
In fact, the ultimate purpose of parents scolding children is to make children better, but they ignore the hard work and efforts behind children.
For learning, what is worth fearing is not the hardship in the learning process, but the gap between the reward for a good test and the punishment for a bad test.
Paying attention to the process of children's efforts is the greatest comfort for children.
When the child writes homework, the writing is slow, the mistake is more, say: "It's okay, write slowly, I see that you are working very hard!" ”
When your child's exposure to new interests and knowledge is slow, say, "Let's try again, and next time we'll be able to do it." ”
Use positive language to recognize the child's efforts and affirm the child's efforts. Let children know that process is more important than results, and growth is more important than achievement.
When these three characteristics appear in the child,
Congratulations on your qualification!
The book reads: "Parenthood is the noblest and most gratifying thing in the world, and there is nothing on earth that can compare." ”
A child who is properly guided and treated cannot hide the qualities of sunshine in his body, and when we can find these qualities in the child, his parents must be qualified.
Confident and determined
Cultivate confident and determined children in a kind and determined way.
Host Yang Di confidently said in the program: "Without me in the hosting world, some happiness will be lost. ”
You must know that he is often said to be not good looking, and why he can have this confidence.
His self-confidence stems from his mother: "No matter what I do, my mother says yes, always encourages me, affirms me, and makes me feel really good." 」 ”
It is precisely because of the spiritual strength given by his parents that he can bring more happiness to others.
Contrarian quotient is high, do not give up lightly
No matter how severe the form, children with high anti-quotient can always see the positive side, find out the factors they can control, believe that they can control the situation, and turn defeat into victory.
Children with high contrarian quotients often say: "Maybe I can win", "I think I can win back", "it doesn't matter if I fail once", "I want to work harder".
They don't get caught up in a single win or loss, they've learned to accept failure and affirm themselves from a good family upbringing.
Have a sense of responsibility and know how to be grateful
Foresighted parents, in the process of educating their children, will not forget to teach their children to learn to "love" and "to be grateful", only under love and rules, children will become more and more responsible, children will be more and more grateful.
They live in a privileged environment created by their parents through labor, but they do not forget to do what they can to give back to their parents.
They see themselves as an important part of the family, are keen to "do it themselves", and are very happy that they have a "job" to do, to sort out toys and help their parents share the housework.
Because in the process of their growth, parents have let their children learn to love and give, and understand responsibility and responsibility.
Write at the end:
The German philosopher Jaspers wrote in What is Education: "True education is to shake another tree with one tree, to push another cloud with one cloud, and to awaken another soul with one soul." ”
The child's behavior is a mirror of the family, what kind of causes are planted, what kind of fruit will be produced, and the child hides the truest character of the parents.
If the parents are qualified, the children will naturally be excellent.