#期待我们都能, be a better parent
Parents are the guides who lead their children forward, from now on, they learn, grow and change; in the future, children will have an excellent, happy and successful life.
We don't want to be more and more distant from our children, so try to say encouraging and warm words to your children.
The China Youth Research Center once conducted a survey in six provinces and cities in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangdong, Yunnan, Gansu and Henan, and there was a question: "10 practices that primary and secondary school students like most about their parents." ”
According to the survey results, "Trust Me" ranked first with a high vote rate of 63.5%, followed by "Talking and Talking" (49.2%), "Let me participate in family life equally" (31.7%), "Discuss life events with me" (23.3%), etc.
It can be seen that the child likes it the most and we can give him a full sense of trust.
If we don't trust the child everywhere, always saying things like "really fake, don't lie to me", "how do you make me believe you", and that suspicious look, the child will feel frustrated, and his self-confidence and self-esteem will inevitably be hurt.
On the contrary, if we can trust the child and always say to him: "Mom and Dad believe in you", the child will feel relaxed and happy inside, which can not only stimulate his motivation and enthusiasm to keep moving forward, but also make the parent-child relationship more harmonious, so that our education can achieve better results.
Don't be suspicious of children for no reason
One day, 6-year-old Chenchen and a little brother were playing in the community square, and after a while, the little brother suddenly lay on the ground and cried loudly. When the mother saw it, she rushed over and indiscriminately reprimanded her son: "How did you do it, you are a brother, how do you not know to let your brother?" ”
"I didn't get it." The son responded with grievances.
"Still cunning, it wasn't you who got it, how did my brother lie on the ground?" Stand aside and reflect! Mom scolded Tatsumi sternly.
Tatsumi was full of grievances, because this matter really had nothing to do with him, it was his brother who accidentally fell down in the process of playing.
Many times, like this mother, we always love to think about our children in a bad way, and when something happens, we immediately think of our children being wrong, arbitrarily concluding, and even unable to control our emotions, reprimanding, criticizing, and punishing him. This treatment will make the child feel that the parents do not trust him at all, which will cause great harm to his soul.
Education should be realistic, if we do not see what happened, do not suspect children for no reason. Even if the child really does something wrong, take the attitude of trusting him to educate the child, which will help him recognize and correct the mistake. Say more words of faith in the child, less suspicious words, we and the child will see hope.
Often say to your child, "You can do it."
In fact, the secret of educating children lies in the fact that parents firmly believe that their children can do it. We often say "you can do it" to the child, which is a trust and affirmation of the child's ability and behavior, and he will feel that there is a powerful force behind him to support himself, and this force will motivate him to do better.
When Xiaoyu was doing homework, every time he encountered a problem, he would shout "Mom, you come soon", and then wait for his mother to teach him to do the problem. This time, he began to call again, and after his mother came over, she looked at the question, but did not tell Xiaoyu how to do it for the first time, but said: "Xiaoyu, this question is a bit similar to the one that your mother taught you yesterday?" If you think about it, Mom believes you can make it yourself. ”
Xiao Yu was a little upset, but he saw that his mother was very serious, so he had to bury his head to solve the problem by himself, and after a while, he really made it.
Xiao Yu was a little embarrassed and didn't want to talk to his mother, but he was very happy in his heart, he really made it!
Of course, we can not casually say "you can do", but according to the child's actual situation and specific things, if we exaggerate the child's actual ability, blindly say: "you can do", is bound to increase his psychological burden. Therefore, when the child has the ability to do something, we have to say to him, "Mom and Dad believe in you, you must be able to do it!" ”
Trust is more than just lip service
Sometimes, some parents often say "we believe in you" to their children, but when they encounter specific problems, they begin to question and suspect their children, then the children cannot get a sense of trust from us. Trusting children is not just lip service, but concretely manifested in action, and trusting children from the heart.
One day, my mother was serving porridge in the kitchen, and my 7-year-old daughter ran over and said happily, "Mom, I'll help you serve it." ”
Mom said casually, "Mom believes you can, but you're still young, so let's talk about it when you grow up." The daughter's little face immediately collapsed. When the mother saw it, she thought about it for a while, believing that the child should not talk about it, so she said: "It turns out that my little baby has grown up, well, my mother believes that you can do it." ”
In order to make it convenient for her daughter to serve, her mother deliberately only filled half a bowl of porridge... When the daughter can gradually hold it steadily, she will fill a bowl.
When the daughter tries to do something, the mother does not use the excuse of "small child" to prevent her from doing it, but believes that she can do it well, and first lets her start with the simplest, and then slowly increases the difficulty until she has the ability to do it well. This mother's approach is worth learning from.
As long as we continue to make the act of "trusting the child", the child will think from the bottom of his heart that "I am trusted" and "I am recognized", he will think that he has the ability to do something and feel happy, and he can also enhance his enthusiasm for doing things and exercise his ability to do things. Why don't we enjoy it?