Reader Case Sharing:
The reader does not know how long it has been since he and her husband have spoken a word, and when they first got married, the two people still talked and laughed, like glue.
With the birth of a child, the first-time mother reader is obviously a little overwhelmed, and the husband is in the ascendancy of his career and cannot take care of the reader.
During that time, it has always been the reader who has survived on his own, and if he is not strong in his heart, I am afraid that there will really be postpartum depression.
The reader feels that when she needs her husband most, her husband is not by her side, and she inevitably complains that her husband does not care about herself at all.
When there is resentment in the heart, it is naturally not peaceful when they get along on the face.
Readers become mean, emotional control is also reduced a lot, and the unsatisfactory in life will be thrown to the husband and used as a pump.
The husband also felt how a good home had become so smoky, and he preferred to work overtime and soak himself in the office rather than go home more.
The reader's marriage becomes precarious until that day, when the reader mistakenly sends to her husband a "I love you" from the birthday wish message she was going to send to her mother. The originally embarrassing situation also had a turning point.
The phrase "I love you" became a turning point in the heating up of feelings
On that day, the reader remembered that it was his mother's birthday, and just after saying happy birthday, he remembered that the kitchen was boiling porridge, so he put down his mobile phone to look at the porridge.
When I came back, I felt that just saying "Happy Birthday" was very monotonous, so I said "I love you" again, coherently, and the feelings were more abundant.
At that time, the reader was still thinking about his own boiling porridge, sent out a "I love you", turned off the phone, turned around and went to the kitchen again.
That night, her husband, who had never even returned home late, came back as early as never before, still holding the strawberries that readers loved to eat, and the words became more.
The reader wonders if the husband has taken the wrong medicine today, how can it be so abnormal.
Later, when the reader looked at the mobile phone, he found that when he sent "I love you", he mistakenly sent it to his husband, so that the husband's "abnormality" today also had a reason.
However, the reader does not intend to explain, such a "misunderstanding" makes the two people freeze the previous suspicion and reconcile, there is no need to explain.
This shows how attractive a phrase "I love you" is.
In the book "Women with High Emotional Intelligence Can Talk", it is said: "Speaking as an art has great charm, one word can change fate, and one word can harvest happiness." ”
It can be seen that a sentence of "I love you" can become a turning point for a warming relationship.
Language is the lubricant in feelings
A sentence of "I love you" is actually only three words, and it is only three seconds to say it, but some people can't say these three words in a lifetime.
The reason is that they feel that the old husband and wife do not need to be so intimate, and it is strange and embarrassing to say it themselves.
What should have been a lubricant that could regulate feelings slipped away in the midst of this embarrassment again and again.
Bi Shumin said: "Love is afraid of silence. Too many people think that love to the depths is speechless. In fact, love is a difficult emotion to describe, which needs to be expressed and transmitted in detail. ”
Smart women never guess their hearts, nor let others guess their own hearts, and their parents still can't know themselves 100%, let alone a person who is not related to themselves.
Smart women know that language can build emotional bridges and prolong each other's feelings indefinitely, so they never skimp on the phrase "I love you".
In addition to the fleshy love words, women can also boast more about their husbands in marriage.
Praise can produce positive psychological cues in men, which in turn makes men more mentally dependent on their significant other.
All emotional discord is the result of poor communication
Host Dou Wentao said on the "Round Table Party" when talking about the marriage relationship: "The most terrible thing about marriage is not the difference in income between the two people, but that they live together, but the distance is getting farther and farther." ”
Have we ever thought that we obviously have the most intimate husband and wife relationship in the world, but why do we still drift apart?
If we are willing to look closely, we will find that all the problems are here - do not communicate when quarrelling, but the Cold War;
I always speak harshly to each other on weekdays, and I have long forgotten the last day when I was calm and talking.
All these uncared details consume the man's heart again and again, and finally fall into disappointment.
Things that can be solved by obvious communication must be ignored, allowed to destroy feelings, and think about it in retrospect, how can such an approach not be naïve?
Now, we understand that the feelings between husband and wife are important to communication, and we also understand that all emotional discord is mostly caused by poor communication.
Therefore, in the future, if there is a problem, we must say it, and do not be stingy with those sweet words, which warm the man's ears, so that they can enter his heart.