Behind every "giant baby", there are parents who are reluctant to let go. Parents' airtight care of their children is the greatest harm to their children's independence.
A few days ago, I saw an article on the news report, which made people sigh.
Mr. Bai, 36 years old, graduated from a well-known university Chinese department with a doctorate degree.
However, who would have thought that such a high-achieving student with a good job, high education and good looks would still think of himself as a baby in the depths of his heart.
He relies on his parents for everything, can't wash and cook and tidy up the room, doesn't shop online, buys things to be accompanied by his parents, and has been "maternal-fetal solo" for 36 years.
At the age of 36, he still thinks of himself as a child, and everything depends on his parents
Mr. Bai, 36 years old, grew up in a wealthy family, and his parents will take care of everything in life for him, and he does not need to make decisions or make efforts to complete them.
In addition to studying, all the affairs in life do not need to be worried about Bye.
After living for so many years, he couldn't remember what housework he had done.
Although later, because of his work, Mr. Bai began to live alone, his parents would still visit his son once every other day to help him wash his clothes, cook, clean up the house, and he would come home by himself as long as he sat and looked at his mobile phone and played with the computer.
"We're worried he won't take care of himself alone." Mr. Bai's parents often say this.
Even now, when Mr. Bai goes to the doctor because of psychological problems, his parents are always with him.
Deeply resentful of their current situation, but unable to leave the "control" of their parents
In the eyes of others, Mr. Bai, who is about to run four, looks "weird".
Adults who are almost 40 years old always lock themselves at home for many years, have not been in love, and it is very difficult to communicate with people normally.
When talking to people, they always flash their words, and before they are finished, people are in a hurry.
Usually, as long as he needs to go out for activities, Mr. Bai must call his family, and he needs to call his parents or sister to accompany him when buying things.
Whether it is work or study, as long as he encounters a stressful situation, Mr. Bai will be in a state of collapse and need drugs to maintain his emotions.
Mr. Bai, who could not work, chose to shut himself in the house, he self-denial, self-attack, and cut his body with a knife many times.
When I got along with my parents, the two sides could not remember how many times they quarreled over such things, and in the depths of Mr. Bai's heart, they thought: You have made me like this, but you think that I am so bad, that is not good.
In order to alleviate the pain in his heart, Mr. Bai once went to meditation and concentrated on meditation for three months.
Although his three-month practice had soothed his heart, as soon as he returned home, all his troubles came to his mind, and the difficulties in life and work did not change in the slightest.
An adult, in the face of the fierce competition and cruel tilt of society, becomes fond of "pretending to be tender", acts childishly, and longs to return to the mentality of the child's world. This state, known as "Peter Pan syndrome", is also clinically known as "psychological regression". This mentality develops to the extreme, and patients indulge in their own fantasies and refuse to grow up.
Now, Mr. Bai chooses to go to the hospital for professional psychotherapy. But for Mr. Bai, the treatment will be a long process, and getting out of the psychological trap of dependence, waiting and fantasy requires Mr. Bai to make great efforts.
Good parent-child education requires a proper exit from parents
People often ask: What is the purpose of having children? Passing on the generations or raising children to prevent old age?
Finally heard a touching answer: to give and appreciate.
The so-called parents and children only mean that your fate with him is that you are constantly watching his back drift away in this life and this life.
Parents who do not want to be separated from their adult children, rather than saying that they love their children, they want to have full control over their children, and this control gives them a sense of accomplishment and strength, so that they are satisfied with themselves...
In such a close parent-child relationship, there is no way to bring more to the child than pressure and mutual torture.
After all, the child will grow up, say goodbye to his parents, and then go to find his own independent world. No matter how much material wealth parents give their children, it is better to give him an independent and sound personality!
As Zhao Jie, a talented woman at Peking University, wrote: Being a parent is a long journey of heart and wisdom.
I admire a kind of parent,
They are young
Give intense intimacy,
And after the child grows up
Learn to withdraw gracefully.
Care and separation
It's all parents on the kids
Tasks that must be completed.
Parent-child relationship
Not a permanent possession,
It's in life
A deep fate,
Neither can we
Make the child feel the barrenness of childhood,
And no
Make your child feel suffocated as an adult.
Parenting,
It is a journey of heart and wisdom.
More than just being a parent,
Many moments of life should know how to move forward and backward.
As parents, we can not accompany our children for a lifetime, what we can do is to send with a loving eye, and bless the child to walk his own life! Articles from the web.