Last weekend, I was having dinner with two friends, and when the wine was getting strong, a friend suddenly asked us a question.
"You say, why do people get more and more tired the more they live?"
“……”
I didn't speak at the time, just raised my glass and touched him.
The words of another friend stunned both of us.
He said:
"Because we think too much, we can't forget our past lives, we are worried about our future lives, and we are angry about our lives in the present."
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Yes, when people reach middle age, the reason why they will live more and more tired is that they love to think about some things that are not, and add to their own distress.
Therefore, the sooner people reach middle age, the better they understand the following 3 things.
Don't read the past
Lloyd George, a former British prime minister, is said to have a habit of closing the door behind him.
One day, George and his friends were strolling around the yard chatting, and whenever they passed a door, George would always close the door behind him.
"Do you need to close these doors?" The friend asked incomprehensibly.
"Oh, of course it's necessary."
Faced with the confusion of his friends, George did not sell Guanzi, but just smiled and said to his friends:
"I've been shutting the door behind me all my life. You know, it's something that has to be done. When you close the door, leave everything about the past behind, whether it's a good accomplishment or a frustrating mistake, and then you can start all over again. ”
After listening to George's words, the friend fell into a long period of contemplation.
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It was with this spirit that George went step by step to success, and finally stepped into the position of British prime minister.
I have to say that shutting down the past behind you and not indulging in it is the best way to get a new beginning in life.
There is a saying in Descendants of the Sun:
"If you have nostalgia, you can't be happy."
Yes, the past should be let go, don't linger, don't look back.
It is the obsession with the past that affects your pace of moving forward.
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As a sentence in "One Hundred Years of Solitude": "The past is all false, and memory is an endless road." ”
In a limited life, why cling to infinite reverie.
Only by cutting off the shackles of the past and clearing the past to zero can we move forward lightly and run to a new tomorrow.
Not afraid of the future
There is a question on Zhihu: "How to deal with fear and uneasiness about the future?" ”
One of the high praises answered:
"The only thing that is reliable is the belief in never giving up."
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Since she was a child, Xu Xiake has had the dream of tracing the source of the Yangtze River.
When he was a teenager, he made a great ambition in front of his father: "When the husband is facing the blue sea, the twilight is dark." ”
At the age of 22, Xu Xiake began the journey of measuring the world with his feet, and famous mountains and rivers such as Tiantai Mountain, Huangshan Mountain, Yandang Mountain, and Wuyi Mountain all left his footprints.
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You know, Xu Xiake is just a weak scholar with no chicken power, and his travel route is a place where there are few people.
He didn't know what awaited him along the way, maybe it was a natural disaster, maybe it was a man-made disaster, in short, it was an unpredictable difficulty.
But he never flinched, and he was still fearless about the future, choosing to start again and again.
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At the age of 51, Xu Xiake began the longest and final journey of his life, "Journey of Ten Thousand Miles".
Along the way, the sky is the seat of the earth, and the mountain is the friend and the water is the companion.
He encountered countless bad weather and robbery, but none of this made Xu Xiake bow his head, and he continued to walk without hesitation.
Even because of years of walking, he suffered from leg diseases, and when it was difficult to walk, he could only hold on with a stick.
When he was persuaded not to leave again, he took out a shovel and said, "Don't bury my bones anywhere." ”
It was this fearless persistence that allowed him to successfully ascend the Cangwu Mountain.
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Then, all the way west, to Lijiang, Yunnan, it was clarified that the source of the Yangtze River was the Jinsha River.
It was here that he had a leg attack again, this time making him unable to stand up again, and Yunnan became the last stop of his "Journey of Ten Thousand Miles".
The realization of the ideal depends not on words, but on the belief of never giving up, the determination to be fearless, and the perseverance of action.
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I have seen a saying: "There is always something more important that gives us the courage to defeat fear." ”
Yes, fear of the unseen future is inevitable, but there is always one thing that will make us no longer afraid: faith.
Failure is not terrible, what is terrible is the fear of failure.
Although the future is invisible, as long as you have a firm belief, on the way forward, you will not regress because of the thorns on the ground, and the future will come sooner or later.
Live in the moment
Soon after Emperor Xuan of Han succeeded to the throne, he issued an edict to upgrade the "temple music" sacrificed to Emperor Wu of Han, but was unexpectedly strongly opposed by Xiahou Sheng, who was then the governor of Changxin Shaofu.
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The chancellor, yushi dafu, and other courtiers joined forces to impeach Xiahou Sheng, and incidentally impeached Huang Ba, who was unwilling to sign.
So the two were arrested and imprisoned, sentenced to death, pending execution.
Xiahou Sheng, as a famous Confucian at that time, was proficient in the Book of Shang and was honest about human nature, and now he was greatly humiliated by this, depressed, and could not help but be discouraged.
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Fortunately, Huang Ba was locked up with him, Huang Ba was optimistic by nature, and had long admired Xiahou Sheng as a great Confucian, and when he got this opportunity, Huang Ba told Xiahou Sheng the intention of seeking advice.
Xiahou Sheng smiled bitterly and resigned on the grounds that he had committed a capital crime.
Huang Ba said: "Confucius has a saying: If you hear the Tao, you can die at night." People should live in the present, seize the present, learn something, have some understanding, today is meaningful, why care about the illusory tomorrow? ”
Xiahou Sheng was quite touched by this, and he agreed to Huang Ba's request.
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Since then, Xiahou Sheng has carefully taught the Book of Shang to Huang Ba every day, and Huang Ba listened attentively to the lectures, teaching and learning one by one, studying day and night.
A few years later, the two were not only freed, but reused.
In a difficult situation, they are obviously waiting for death, but they choose to live in the moment and indulge in research.
Life is impermanent, drinking and pecking, there is providence.
I have to say that the meaning of life is to live in the moment.
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Whether you are waiting for death or being in a low valley, you are not living in the moment, and it is important to do what you like.
People should live in the present, grasp the present, as long as today is meaningful, do not care about the unknown tomorrow.
We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, so it's most important to live in the moment.
Albert Camus said: "True generosity for the future is to dedicate everything to the present. ”
That's true.
The future is too uncertain, thinking too much, is tantamount to "worrying about the sky", it is better to use all your strength and live up to the present.
Mr. Mao Dun said:
"The past, let it pass, never look back; the future, wait until it comes, don't dream; we only grasp the present, with our present ideals, and do what we should do."
Life is a performance without rehearsals, no director asking for a pause, good or bad, all over again.
In order to make the script more perfect, we must put in the most energy and show our best selves.
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Obsessing over the past will only make you unable to extricate yourself; worrying about the future will only make you stop moving forward.
In order not to repeat the mistakes of today, yesterday should be left behind; in order not to repeat the mistakes of tomorrow, we should live today to be thorough.
There is no way back in life, may we all not forget our original intentions, live in the present, bravely move forward, and write a magnificent chapter of our own lives.