The growth of a child requires the whole family to join forces.
In an only couple's family, the children born are closely watched by 6 adults. They form a special strategic partnership with each other, who is responsible for the child's life and who is responsible for the child's learning. The unified goal of the whole family is to cultivate children into talents.
In the relationship that seems to cooperate with tacit understanding, it is a kind of harm for the child. Children are like goods on the production line, passed around, cold and strange.
"Mother is born, grandmother raises, grandparents come to appreciate"
Less than a year after her marriage, Mimi successfully prepared for pregnancy and became pregnant with Xiaomi. When the whole family learned of this news, they sat together at the first time to discuss future plans for raising children.
When this child arrived, he became the focus of the whole family. But whether the grandparents have not yet retired, the grandparents are idle people, and the responsibility of raising children naturally falls on the old two.
In this way, the whole family hit it off, and the final result of the discussion was that after Mimi gave birth to the child, she and grandma managed everything, and after the child was weaned, Mimi could go to work normally, and Grandma and Grandpa could watch the child. Because the grandparents still need to work, they will bear the millet to eat and wear every month, and send money regularly to become the rear supply.
In this way, after the birth of the child, the family proceeded step by step, but Mimi found that the 3-year-old Xiaomi only kissed her grandmother and grandfather, whether it was herself or her grandmother, like strangers.
At first, Mimi also comforted herself, and when Xiaomi went to school, she would be fine when she received her. Now the children don't understand anything, and slowly they will get better. But in fact, is it really that simple?
Children need someone to accompany them, and time is the guarantee of attachment
For newborn babies, the main reason they develop an attachment relationship with their mother is breastfeeding. Mothers have to feed their babies many times a day, and every time they hold them in their arms, they deepen the so-called attachment relationship.
However, when the feeding behavior stops, the relationship between the mother and the baby becomes awkward. At this time, if the interaction with each other is reduced at once, the baby's impression of the mother will immediately fall to the bottom.
And those who are close to him are regarded as a life-saving straw. Just like Xiaomi, her life-saving straw is Grandma and Grandpa. When Xiaomi lacks the love of her mother, she can only get compensation from her grandmother.
Moreover, once this attachment relationship is formed, it is not easy to be changed. Because the baby is mature enough to distinguish the emotions and attitudes of the people around him, he will naturally like to stay with people close to him!
The relationship between different characters in the family, the baby knows it
When the baby starts at the age of 2, he enters a sensitive period of social interaction, and he can feel the rules and relationships of the outside world. They know who in this family speaks well and who is able to meet their own requirements.
This kind of performance is ugly to say, that is, bullying soft and afraid of hard, will look at the eyes. Whoever stays with him regularly and takes care of himself will be issued a good guy card. On the other hand, even if they are closely related by blood and often do not see each other, the child will not believe them.
Therefore, those behaviors that cooperate with tacit understanding in the eyes of adults have a completely different understanding in the eyes of children. They are always black and white, and if they are not good people, they must be bad.
If you want to be a competent parent, companionship is a prerequisite
Being busy at work is not an excuse to ignore your child
The pressure of life in today's society is too great, and many parents will continue to work hard in order to provide a better living environment for their children. After work, you must continue to work overtime, in order to make more money, there is almost no rest time.
In this state, you can't rest enough, let alone spend time with your children. It is said that a quiet child is a little angel, but when the child is noisy, he becomes a little demon every minute.
Therefore, many parents will be very reluctant to spend time with their children, and it is better to look at their mobile phones when they have time, so that children can torture themselves.
Once you have this kind of thinking, it means that you are close to incompetent parents. A child grows only once, every day is very precious, as long as you miss a day, you will lose it forever.
The hard work you put into your child will one day be rewarded to you
Childhood memories are critical to a child's future growth. If in childhood, their parents rarely accompany their children, and when their parents get older and need children, the children will not be so dedicated.
On the contrary, from childhood to adulthood, they are all dedicated to their children, children are able to see in the eyes and remember in their hearts, and when the children grow up, they will not only honor their parents, but also treat their children so kindly. It's like a legacy.
Today's Topic:
In the eyes of your child, are you a competent parent or an incompetent parent? Have you figured out how you're going to treat your children in the future? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!