I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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Some people really enjoy the festival, eat, drink and have fun, and some people are really affected during the festival.
The reunion dinner full of tables looks delicious, in fact, there are many jobs behind it, washing vegetables, cooking rice, washing dishes and cleaning up, and the people who do these tasks really can't be idle for a moment.
Soon for the New Year, good friend Xiaoli is a little stressed, to be precise, she is very anxious.
This year, she is going to follow her newly married boyfriend to her in-laws' house for the New Year, and in her own words, this is the first time she has spent the New Year at someone else's house.
In her own home For the New Year, she can completely stay in an extremely comfortable state, lying on the sofa watching mobile phones, snacking, or watching TV, she can completely remain in a relaxed state, work hard for a year, and those few days at home are her most comfortable time.
And the mother, naturally, supports how comfortable she is.
But it was about to go to her in-laws' house for the New Year, and the seven aunts and eight aunts, including her mother, told her a lot of words, telling her that she must not be like in her own home, she should be diligent and take the initiative to help with housework.
When a girl goes to her in-laws' house for the first time, do she have to take the initiative to clean up the dishes?
Regarding what the elders said, being diligent and fast probably means "cleaning up the dishes and washing the dishes".
I don't know how other regions are, our region, will often teach girls like this: when you go to other people's homes to eat, you must have eyesight, don't let others joke that there is no work in your eyes, take the initiative to clean up the dishes, especially after being a daughter-in-law, you must take the initiative to clean up, and you can't let others say anything.
When I first got married, my mother also told me this, and I replied "without knowing what to do": "I am not as diligent as you, willing to be willing, unwilling to disperse." ”
My mother was overwhelmed by me without saying a word.
I really think that the first time a girl goes to her boyfriend's house, or the first time she goes to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year, there is really no need to rush to show how diligent she is, there is no need to clean up the dishes and wash the dishes.
If you do, then be prepared to have a second time and a third time.
Since you have started, you must be prepared to take care of the family to eat, if you do not have this plan, it is best not to do it once.
Daughters don't take the initiative to clean up when they go home, so why should daughters-in-law show such diligence?
Which guest goes to someone else's house to clean up the dishes and wash the dishes?
First of all, not being familiar with everything in the family may cause trouble.
Secondly, if you really like to do housework, it doesn't matter, go to your mother-in-law's house to take the initiative to do housework, and you can stick to it all the time, without any problems.
I am afraid that at the beginning I will perform very well, and then I will get bored, and once the in-laws have become accustomed to the daughter-in-law doing housework, and the daughter-in-law does not do it later, the contradiction will come out.
I disagree with educating my daughter as a "traditional virtuous wife"
I have a daughter myself, and my daughter will be three years old after the end of the year.
She is now a vibrant little girl and is more than willing to do housework with us.
In daily life, I will guide my child to do housework and let her handle some of the things she can, but I will not guide her to other people's homes, but I will also perform, and then it is completely according to the mood.
Because in the future, the place where she will go to visit must be a friend's house or a relative's house with a good relationship, and since the relationship is good, there is no need to be too deliberate.
In the future, when she becomes an adult, facing the matter of marriage, I still hope that she will recognize herself, do not need to perform in front of anyone, and do not need to do something she does not like for face.
The relationship between people and people can be maintained in a long-term harmonious state, because they know how to maintain a relationship, rather than taking the initiative to show how diligent they are.
The same is true between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
When I went to my mother-in-law's house, I never took the initiative to clean up, nor did I know where the dishes and chopsticks were placed, nor did I know which piece of cloth was used to brush the dishes.
Similarly, when my mother-in-law comes to my house, I won't let her clean up because she doesn't understand the details either.
I myself am not a traditional good wife and mother, and I certainly do not want my daughter to be a traditional good wife and mother.
The subtext of the traditional good wife and good mother is: selfless dedication, enough patience, doing things first, enjoying later.
Complaining about the uselessness of "cooking a family meal" is the most direct way to pick a pick
Every New Year, you can see similar complaint articles on the Internet, saying that it is the Spring Festival 7-day holiday, which is a hundred times harder than daily work, and every day you have to take care of a large family of people to eat and drink, wash dozens of bowls, and get tired to the point of back pain.
People are not used to it, if from the first day of entering the door, they do not take the initiative to provoke the habit of doing housework and cooking, and then they must always insist, and the family will take this for granted.
Private complaints do not work, if you really feel that the New Year is too tired, busy for a week, more tired than the daily work, direct pick is the best way.
People who do things are prone to complain, and people who don't do things point fingers, which is the norm.
New Year's Day, the first time to the in-laws' house, if you do not know whether you should take the initiative to do housework, you can completely take the behavior of the sister-in-law as the standard, of course, the premise is that there is a sister-in-law.
Sister-in-law takes the initiative to do housework, you can follow the sister-in-law while nagging while doing something, if the sister-in-law just eats snacks, watches TV, brushes the mobile phone, then you must not take the initiative to do housework, take the initiative to clean up, otherwise this is not a good start.