The number of words is about 5200 words
Reading time: about 5 minutes
Sections of this article:
01, parents do this, the child will speed up the recovery
02, parents and children's three views should be positive and consistent
03. Why do many hospitals not have psychotherapy?
04. The age range of admission to our institution
Recently, we shared the psychological intervention process of Liu Ke, a depressed/bipolar disorder patient in college students, as well as the analysis and inspiration of his condition.
In this article, we would like to talk about Liu Ke's father, who has played a very important role in the smooth recovery of his daughter. Some of the father's strengths and practices are worth learning from other patient parents, and also help their children to speed up their recovery.
Some of the reader's questions will be answered below. We always say that we mainly treat adolescent depression, bipolar disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, so adults will not be treated?
Not exactly.
Below we will explain the scope of our patient treatment, as well as the specific reasons, and answer some of the questions of the patient's family.
Liu Ke's father left a deep impression on me, especially his personality and way of doing things.
We have been in contact with the parents of many patients. After the child is ill, most of the mothers know how to understand the child better, more rational and more intelligent. They play a big role in the process of children's recovery.
Most of the patient's fathers are less involved in the child's rehabilitation process, or a little stubborn, self-righteous, unable to empathize well with the child and understand the root cause of the child's illness.
Of course, this is also related to some objective factors. Many fathers are busy with work, are the main economic pillar of the family, and they also pay a lot for the family; and the overall male emotions are not as delicate as women, and for these reasons, many fathers pay relatively little attention and consideration to their children.
Therefore, many patients receive psychological interventions accompanied by their mothers. When we do family therapy, we often only do it to our mothers, guiding them to deeply self-reflect, change and improve, and then tell them how to drive their husbands to actively change.
To be honest, these moms are really not easy!
In Liu Ke's family, many situations are just the opposite.
Liu Ke's mother has a more impatient and severe personality, although she never hits the child, but it is easy to put a black face and reprimand on the child when she is angry, and these unintentional "cold violence" has caused superimposed psychological trauma to Liu Ke, which is one of the psychological roots of her illness later.
Liu Ke's father has a gentle and patient personality, is calm and rational in case of trouble, is not easy to disastrous thinking, and rarely rushes with his wife and daughter, and knows how to tolerate his family.
When lucy, a hypnotherapist, searched for the psychological trauma behind Liu's illness, she never found an incident of her parents arguing. It can be seen that her parents get along with each other on a daily basis, and in the face of his wife's temper, her father can cope and accept well, at least without causing obvious negative effects on the child.
The image comes from the Internet
In addition, her father mentioned in his self-report article that Liu Ke had good grades in elementary school and often took the first grade, but he always wanted to take leave before the exam and did not want to participate.
Many parents will not be able to accept it, and suddenly think disastrously, "If the child does not go to school, what kind of system will it become?" "I want to escape from an exam, but what should I do when I grow up and encounter difficulties?"
These parents are likely to be anxious, ask their children what is going on, force their children to take the exam, and even criticize and accuse them. This can easily cause superimposed psychological trauma to the child, and over time, the child will be more resistant to the test, which will form a serious learning disability.
But Liu Ke's father was very calm about this, he said, "I think this is nothing, if you don't go, don't go", he called the teacher to ask for leave.
In fact, Liu Ke did not want to take the exam at that time, and there were probably some psychological hidden dangers behind it. Her father may not have taken the initiative to investigate and solve it, but at least he did not take a simple and rough way to expand the problem, and he also knew how to tolerate and respect the child, and Liu Ke's problem was not serious, and then it slowly eased.
In general, Liu Ke's father is an important reason why his family is maintained and the family atmosphere is generally good.
If his child hadn't gotten sick, it would sound like an ordinary family, nothing special. But the child is sick, such a good family atmosphere, will be of great help to the child's recovery.
After the Liu Family found us, her father has always been very trusting and cooperative with us from beginning to end, which is also relatively rare among the fathers of so many patients.
Moreover, after Liu Ke began to receive psychological intervention, her mother soon had something to go home, and the follow-up was mainly accompanied by her father.
Her dad did this task very well. Not only did he follow some of the precautions we had said, he had not yet had any conflict with his daughter, but as soon as he heard that her daughter wanted to cook, he immediately went to rent an apartment.
I think Liu Ke is really lucky to have such a father, he is a role model for many fathers.
During the family therapy for Liu Ke's father, I said that he has done a very good job in the family, but he can continue to improve.
For example, he should understand his wife's personality from the perspective of his wife's original family, she must have suffered some superimposed psychological trauma since she was a child, so it is easy to be impatient and catastrophic thinking when things happen.
Then he should give his wife more tolerance, and intelligently resolve some of his wife's emotional fluctuations, as well as the contradictions that sometimes occur between his wife and daughter. This will not only allow Liu Ke to recover better, but even partially repair the trauma her mother has suffered, and her mother's personality will become more rational and gentle.
Also, I hope he has a deeper understanding of his daughter's past personality.
Liu Ke has been introverted since childhood, is there an innate factor in this? We can't completely rule this out. But there are obviously a lot of superimposed psychological traumas behind this, and after we have repaired them and then actively guided her, she is now communicating with people very actively and smoothly, and her personality has changed a lot.
We believe that a person's personality may be affected by innate factors, but this influence is limited and can be reversed. Even if there are certain innate factors, if the individual grows up in a good environment and does not suffer obvious superimposed psychological trauma, the person's personality can be very positive and optimistic.
Therefore, a person's acquired experience is the most critical to the cultivation of personality.
Our pathological pathological memory repair technology (TPMIH) under deep hypnosis can also find the superimposed psychological trauma behind personality weaknesses, and after efficient repair and then cumulative guidance, the individual's personality will change significantly rapidly.
From this point of view, the country is easy to change, but the nature can also be "moved".
Therefore, after Liu Ke's parents have experienced their daughter's illness and fortunately recovered, they must pay attention to taking care of their grandchildren in the future and do not repeat the same mistakes. They should try to avoid superimposed psychological trauma to their grandchildren, and even consciously guide their grandchildren to form a sunny, positive, and extroverted good personality, and transform their daughter's illness experience into family wealth.
In addition, I also guided Liu Ke's parents to take the initiative to understand some of their children's ideas, and the family's three views should be consistent.
Liu Ke's parents grew up in the 60s and 70s, when the domestic development was still relatively backward, and the gap between western developed countries was very large. It is normal that they have a cult of the developed countries of the West.
In addition, it is possible that Liu Ke's parents have encountered some unfair incidents in their life encounters, which they believe are related to the shortcomings of relevant domestic systems and cultures.
So in general, Liu Ke's parents are a bit sublime to Western developed countries, and sometimes complain about some shortcomings in domestic society. Liu Ke said, "My dad is like an angry youth!" ”
Under the influence of his parents, Liu Ke also once had a great expectation for western developed countries. She did not do well in the middle school entrance examination, so she decided not to participate in the domestic college entrance examination and wanted to study abroad, which may also be affected by this factor.
But after Liu Ke really went abroad, he found that the developed countries in the West were not as beautiful as imagined, and even had a bad and unfair side.
Of course, this is also related to her frequent conflicts with foreign classmates and teachers at that time, and suffered superimposed psychological trauma. But we can't rule out that those teachers may really have a tendency to discriminate against Chinese.
In short, Liu Ke may have experienced "Paris Syndrome" after going abroad, and her follow-up performance belongs to the typical "patriotic as soon as she goes abroad". She is now studying abroad in order to complete her unfinished studies and continue her studies; but deep down, she has more recognition of her motherland, and she does not blindly worship Western countries, and when it comes to some aspects, she even disdains foreign countries.
So before accepting our psychological intervention, as soon as her parents said that it was good abroad, she got angry and accused her of being unpatriotic. It was activated by the psychological trauma she had suffered abroad, but it also reflected that her three views had changed, but her parents were not aware of it.
Therefore, when doing family therapy, I specifically pointed out this to her father, and the family's three views should be consistent.
Judging from the current social situation, Liu Ke's three views are more rational and positive. We must rationally look at the advantages and disadvantages of domestic society and Western society from multiple perspectives.
Especially after the outbreak of the new crown pneumonia epidemic, our country has made great achievements in fighting the epidemic, showing strong advantages and national strength. Some of the practices of Western countries in recent years are not at all consistent with the so-called equality, freedom, and justice they flaunt.
Liu Ke's father recognized this, and he also realized that he blindly worshiped foreign countries and the reasons behind it, admitting that he still stayed in the past concept and did not keep pace with the times. Now he has changed a lot, taking the initiative to get close to his daughter's three views, the family's three views conflict has decreased, and the family atmosphere is naturally more harmonious.
Overall, Liu Ke recovered so well, in addition to our systematic deep psychological intervention, and her own efforts, her parents contributed, especially her father.
We have always stressed that when a child is ill, at least one of the parents should deeply reflect, change and improve, learn scientific spiritual psychology knowledge, and have wisdom, which will significantly accelerate the child's recovery, and the whole family will be improved.
I hope that parents who read this article should be aware of this in time and take action as soon as possible.
The last two parts of the article are intended to answer some readers' questions.
Liu Ke's father mentioned in his self-report article that why the sixth hospital of Peking University, which is famous in the domestic psychiatric department, actually has no psychological counseling department?
They went to Peking University Sixth Hospital to seek medical treatment between 2018 and 2019, when the hospital had no psychological counseling department, and if not, what the specific reason was, we don't know.
Even if it really wasn't established at that time, there should still be many objective factors, not just the effect of psychotherapy.
At present, the sixth hospital of Peking University has a psychological treatment service, and last year it also released relevant news, which readers in need can understand on their own.
However, Liu Ke's father's question has a deeper meaning:
The Sixth Hospital of Peking University is already the top psychiatric hospital in China, why have you seen so many experts here, or can't cure your child's disease?
The effect of children taking medicine is not good, and it is so difficult to find reliable and suitable psychotherapy resources for children?
This relates to the limitations of psychiatric drug therapy and psychotherapy in general.
The limitations of psychiatric drug therapy for depression, we have previously discussed in detail, clinically standardized antidepressant therapy is not effective in at least 50% of depressed patients, even large experts with rich experience in medication are difficult to completely reverse this situation.
What about general, or mainstream, psychotherapy and counseling methods? It is possible that the limitations are even greater than those of drugs.
At present, the mainstream schools of psychotherapy are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychoanalytic therapy, and humanistic therapy. Among them, although psychoanalytic therapy has been gradually abandoned in western developed countries, it still accounts for a large proportion in the mainland.
When many psychiatrists in China first come into contact with psychotherapy, they often learn psychoanalytic therapy. In the past, Sino-German psychoanalytic training courses were only qualified for senior doctors in domestic psychiatry.
But when these psychiatrists used psychoanalytic therapy to treat patients, they quickly found that this was inefficient. For many patients, treatment is not as effective as psychiatric drugs.
Psychoanalytic therapy has now developed, forming a new school of psychoanalysis, but it is still ineffective overall. At present, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness therapy, which are more and more recognized by evidence-based medicine, are also being carried out more and more in China, but they are not absolutely mainstream.
Therefore, in this case, the psychiatry department of many hospitals is still based on drug treatment and physical therapy. Most psychiatrists still tend to look at common mental illnesses such as depression and bipolar disorder from a biological perspective.
It is believed that for a long time, this mode of diagnosis and treatment will continue at home and abroad, and drug treatment will still be the mainstream.
Of course, with the continuous improvement and progress of the field of psychological services in our country, in the long run, this situation will certainly slowly improve.
Liu Ke had some concerns before making an appointment with us. She found that our articles and videos often emphasize adolescent patients, but she was in her 20s at that time, will we accept her?
This is actually the question that many patients and families have about us.
In fact, what we call "teenagers" is a general concept.
Children between the ages of 12 and 18 are indeed our main admission area. However, if patients and families trust and cooperate with us, the age range of admission can be extended to about 28 years old, but it is still mainly a group of students, such as college students, master's students, doctoral students, etc.
As for the group over the age of 28, we have also been admitted in some special cases.
A student patient we previously admitted was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder by other psychiatrists. When we used deep hypnosis to look for the psychological trauma behind its symptoms, we found that many of them were brought by his mother.
Because his dad cheated on him very early, it caused a lot of psychological trauma to his mom. From the age of 3 or 4, his mother, like Xianglin's sister-in-law, often talked about this matter in front of him, complaining, accusing, and belittling his father.
Patients have been "emotional trash cans" for so many years, forming superimposed psychological trauma. He was bitter and angry at his mother, "My mother treated me like a lover, not a son. These things are not suitable for telling my son! ”
Until the patient received our psychological intervention, his mother would sometimes complain uncontrollably. The patient couldn't stand it anymore, and he begged us to give his mother psychological intervention to repair her psychological trauma so that he could recover.
We agreed after considering it. Lucy, a hypnotherapist, did two deep hypnotic trauma repairs to the patient's mother, mainly for the psychological trauma of her husband's infidelity; the effect was also obvious, the patient's mother really let go of this matter from the heart, and no longer nagged to her son.
At the time, both the patient and the patient's mother were very grateful to us, but objectively, it consumed a lot of our time and energy.
So, can our psychological intervention techniques be used in patients over the age of 28? Theoretically, it's okay.
But because the three views of this group are relatively fixed, some also have personality changes and even personality disorders. We have to spend a lot of time building a relationship of trust with them, so that they understand and endorse our psychological intervention theories and techniques, so that there may be obvious results.
But our energy and time are very limited now, and we choose to focus our limited time and energy on the 12- to 28-year-old group, mainly the student group.
The three views and personality plasticity of this part of the group are relatively strong, and the effect of psychological intervention will be more obvious. And they are the hope of the family and the future of the motherland, when they recover, they can not only realize their self-worth well, but also bring contributions to the country, and the social significance is great.
Therefore, we hope that patients and families who have not been able to accept our systematic and in-depth psychological intervention will be forgiven.
We will also strive to make breakthroughs in the replication of psychological intervention technology to benefit more patient families!