In the original work of "Knowing or Not", the first person to intersect with Sheng Minglan's life is Qi Heng, the second is He Hongwen, and the third is Gu Tingye.
Sheng Shao invited Mr. Zhuang to come to the house to teach his children their homework, as Mr. Zhuang's proud disciple, Qi Heng also came to the Sheng family to study, and met the three Sheng Minglan sisters, he kept a distance from Sheng Molan, who was like a flower and was very enthusiastic about himself, and was not interested in his daughter Sheng Rulan, but he fell in love with Sheng Minglan at first sight, who had not yet opened and whose beauty had not yet appeared.
However, Sheng Minglan looks like a child on the outside, but in fact has the soul of an adult, and she sees things very thoroughly, she knows that she and Qi Heng are not people of the same world, just as Xia Worm can't speak of ice, she and Qi Heng have no possibility of being together at all.
She has no feelings for Qi Heng, only fear, and she is worried that Qi Heng's friendship with her will kill herself and implicate the Sheng family, especially the grandmother who is responsible for raising her.
However, if cao jinxiu had not suddenly appeared, Sheng Minglan would really have been able to marry He Hongwen.
When He Hongwen first appeared, Sheng Minglan's impression of him was actually quite good.
Fourteen or fifteen-year-old boy Lang, with a white and pure face, with beautiful eyebrows and handsome eyes, not as beautiful as Qi Heng, but there was a strong bookish atmosphere, the end of the line was steady, and the He family was rich and noble, but he was wearing only a plain satin straight coat, except for a ruyi silk jade pendant around his waist, there was no ornament on his body, and after both sides were sent to the elders and children, they sat down.
He Hongwen is the grandson of the He family of Baishitan, although the family does not have a title, but it is also a famous door, on the door, slightly higher than the Sheng family. He Hongwen's grandmother was from a family of medicine and was very good at gynecology, He Hongwen lost his father at a young age, and Mrs. He divided the industry for him in advance, taught him to study medicine, and cultivated him into a young boy who was knowledgeable, polite, and skilled in medicine.
The reason why Mrs. Sheng considered letting Sheng Minglan marry He Hongwen was because of three points. First, she and He Hongwen's grandmother, Mrs. He, were handkerchiefs, and it seemed that in this regard, the He family would not treat Sheng Minglan badly, and second, He Hongwen's mother was weak and sick, unable to manage things, and did not look like a bad mother-in-law's material; second, He Hongwen had outstanding ability, good character, and was also very fond of Sheng Minglan, not like a person who would be negative. Third, Sheng Minglan was not born tall, is a maid, it is difficult to marry into the high door, it is better to marry a more ordinary family, simply live a life is the most important.
However, Cao Jinxiu's appearance cast a shadow over this marriage. Sheng Minglan was not opposed to He Hongwenna's concubine, but to He Hongwenna's cousin who had an affair with him as a concubine.
"I am a great layman, and I also think of spending a good full moon, and I also want to have a smooth life; but if when I am filial piety to my elders, raising my children, and running the housework, my husband is talking to someone about the pomegranate flower lotus lamp and the little rabbit lamp of his childhood, then am I not laughing?" What am I, a piece of ornamentation? ”
Reading "Knowing or Not", Sheng Minglan had 3 points of thinking about the marriage with He Hongwen, which reminded the woman.
First, the broken things that men make should be solved by himself, rather than letting you bend over backwards;
One of The biggest shortcomings of He Hongwen is indecisiveness, when the judgment is constantly reversed.
Since he has a good feeling for Sheng Minglan, the parents of both sides have also approved of their marriage, marrying Sheng Minglan is almost a finalized matter, at this time, he should be honest, behave well, don't do things that are easy to cause unhappiness to the woman's parents, you know, his marriage with Sheng Minglan has not been completely finalized, if the Sheng family is unhappy, they can deny this matter at any time.
Cao Jinxiu was indeed very pitiful, forced to be a concubine, abused by the master mother, and lost the right to be a mother, but her pity was not caused by Sheng Minglan, but the problem of her parents. Therefore, why let Sheng Minglan sacrifice his happiness to pity Cao Jinxiu?
Minglan looked at Cao Jinxiu fixedly, and his voice was as cold as a clear spring in the mountains: "Miss Cao, have you ever seen a kind person who gives all his wealth to a beggar?" Minglan turned her face to He Hongwen and said word by word: "For a woman, her husband is all she has, which woman will take her husband to the poor woman next to her?" "Unless it's the ashes of the Virgin."
He Hongwen could have treated Cao Jinxiu as his own sister, and she found a good family, backed up her dowry, supported her in her husband's house, or took good care of her, but not let Sheng Ming lan ask for perfection and let her be a concubine.
Sheng Minglan did not continue to persecute He Hongwen, but let He Hongwen give his own attitude, He Hongwen was indecisive, and when the break continued, it also made Sheng Minglan feel very disappointed.
The broken things that men make should be solved by himself, rather than letting you bend over backwards. This thing is not the evil cause you planted, so why let you taste such evil consequences in their place? Why do you sacrifice your own happiness to let men enjoy their success and take advantage of it?
If the man really loves you, you must not, without your presence, he will take care of these messy things, including the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so that you can marry him with peace of mind, rather than using you as a gun and hiding behind your back to pick up ready-made.
Second, marrying to see the family, meet unreasonable father's parents, leave early;
I have to say that He Hongwen was actually pit by his own mother. Mother He was extremely confused, and in order to help her mother's family, she actually ruined her son's good marriage.
In fact, He Mu is also a white lotus flower, looking harmless to people and animals, in fact, it will only harm others and self-interest. In order to let her niece enter the door smoothly, after passing the pass of her son and mother-in-law, she actually called Sheng Minglan over and sang a harmony with Cao Jinxiu's mother and daughter, trying to morally kidnap Sheng Minglan and force him to accept Cao Jinxiu into the door.
"Good boy, Brother Hong'er told me everything you meant, you don't have to blame him, say it, it's all mine!" Mother He was half lying on the bed, with a piece of veil wrapped around her head, her face was yellow, her eyes were thick black, her cheeks were deeply sunken, and the whole person was haggard, "But... Jin Er, she can't do anything, I always know that you are a very good child, you should be pitiful and pitiful, just tolerate her! ”
Her poor sister and niece, Guan ShengMinglan, what happened? She was good, did not dare to offend her mother-in-law, there was no way to take her son, to feel that Sheng Minglan, who had not yet passed the door, was young and thin-skinned, and did not dare not give herself the face of this person who might become a mother-in-law, so she retreated into advance and forced Sheng Minglan to compromise.
To put it bluntly, in the eyes of Mother He, nothing is better than her mother's family, and when you meet such an unclear person, if you make her a daughter-in-law, you will decide that there will be a difficult mother-in-law contradiction to deal with.
Marrying depends on the family, meet unreasonable father's parents, and leave early. The in-laws can't figure it out, if the man is protecting you, it's okay, if the man is partial to his parents, how can you be the opponent of their family?
Third, no matter when it comes, whether you are in adversity or good times, you must actively deal with life, rather than giving up on yourself.
Although He Hongwen has many problems, it is undeniable that before Gu Tingye's courtship, He Hongwen was indeed the best candidate, after all, in that era, it was really not easy for a woman to pick a good marriage.
In this regard, Sheng Minglan also has his own ideas, that is, to plot things in the sky, do his best, if not, but also smile to face difficulties. "People live a lifetime, there are always many uneven bumps on the road, and you can't always see the potholes and get around!" I want to look across the horizon, fill it with mud and sand, move the stones to pave it, and maybe walk through it as a way! How can you veto the people who are easy to come to as soon as you encounter unsatisfactory! ”
No matter when it comes, no matter whether you are in adversity or good times, you must actively cope with life, rather than self-abandonment, such as Lady Liang of the Marquis of Yongchang because she is not satisfied with her husband, she has been passively coping with marriage, and in the end, she and her sons are not favored, and they are suppressed by the eldest son, and their lives are very suffocated. There is also Zhang Guifen, if it were not for that production crisis, she might have wasted her time.
Whether you live well or not, you have to live, it is better to die than to live, so why not try to make yourself comfortable? If you don't work hard, who can give you a good life?
I hope that women can learn from Sheng Minglan's experience, choose a mate cautiously, actively cope with marriage and life, and don't suffer themselves.
END.
Today's topic: What do you think of Sheng Minglan's three thoughts? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.