It is said that today's women have a very difficult life, both to have children and to earn money to support their families. But now women also live more freely and have more opportunities for choice. They can choose to return to their families, single-mindedly marry and teach their children, or they can choose to break out of their own world.
Of course, neither lifestyle is absolutely good. Single-mindedly marrying and teaching children can lead to derailment from society and complete dependence on men for their livelihood. And pay attention to the cause, you can't spend a lot of thought on the family, or even a lonely person.
Although there are flaws in any way of life, this does not mean that women cannot live this life well.
A woman can live well as long as she has both abilities.
01 Be with someone who truly loves you
In real life, there are some women who obviously know that the other party does not love themselves, or is not good enough for themselves, but they can't put it down, and they keep paying, hoping that the other party will change.
In this regard, Zhang Defen once analyzed in a book she wrote, "We will eventually meet love and loneliness", in her view, the reason why a woman is willing to pay in this way is that she wants to exchange her own sense of existence by giving love.
This type of woman always wants to change men through her own efforts, but the result is mostly disappointment.
If men don't want to change, women can't do anything about it, especially when you meet a man who doesn't love you.
Women who live well, they will not find a sense of presence in men who do not love themselves, they know that they love themselves, they will choose to be with men who love themselves.
In the TV series "Know It or Not", Sheng Minglan originally considered marrying He Hongwen, who was the right person with her, but then He Hongwen's cousin appeared and wanted to be with him, He Hongwen did not refuse at the first time, but hoped that Minglan would be the master, and Minglan naturally saw that he was actually willing to do so.
Through this incident, Sheng Minglan knew that He Hongwen was not the person he wanted, although he was very kind and would not treat her badly after marriage, but what she wanted was that her husband could treat her wholeheartedly in his heart. Obviously, He Hongwen is not such a person.
Minglan said to He Hongwen, "Lang Jun, who I want to marry, if the most important thing in my heart is not me, then I would rather not marry for the rest of my life, and I will not swallow this bowl of raw rice." ”
Minglan has seen clearly since childhood, in a family, if a woman wants to live a stable and good life, it mainly depends on the attitude of men, if men take themselves seriously, women's lives are better, if men do not have you in their hearts, this life will only be a hard life.
So she would rather not marry than marry someone who doesn't love herself.
Whether it is ancient or modern, whether a woman's marriage is happy or not, mainly depends on whether there is love between two people, if men do not love themselves, there will be no happiness in married life.
Therefore, women can choose to be single and choose to live alone, but if you also want to find someone to accompany you through this life, you must be with someone who truly loves themselves, so that you can live well.
02 Have the life you want
As mentioned above, women can choose to marry and teach their children, or they can choose a career, but no matter which one you choose, you have to know the life you want.
If a woman blindly endures and pays for the family, cannot live herself, cannot be good to herself, she is unhappy.
If a woman blindly fights for her career and works hard, but forgets the truest desire in her heart, she will not be happy.
As a woman, you can still live the life you want. The premise is that you have to see your own existence, you have to understand your own heart, and you have to dare to be yourself.
Just like Sheng Minglan, after she refused to marry He Hongwen, her grandmother was worried that she would not find a good marriage partner in the future and worry about her.
Minglan advised: "Let's live this life, we can't always go around in this courtyard, I can still save a lot of money in the future, how relieved, idle to go to the mountains and waters, hit the ball fishing, double land demolition, there are always many ways to relieve the boredom, life naturally live happily." If in order to fight for a bite of food in front of a man, but turn yourself into an abominable crazy woman, this life is not worth it. ”
In the eyes of many women, finding a Ruyi Langjun is the most important thing, this life has to rely on, Sheng Minglan naturally wants to do so, but she does not force, if she can't meet someone who wants to marry, she can find another way out, in her eyes, a woman does not marry, she can also live well.
Sheng Minglan has the life she wants, she is willing to get it through her own efforts, she does not want to rely only on others to survive, even if she later married Gu Tingye, who loved her, she did not think of relying entirely on him.
She has her own plans and ideas, and she knows that she can't fully expect others to live, otherwise over time, she will inevitably be disappointed in her heart, and when the time comes, she will resent each other.
Gu Minglan is sober in life, her sobriety lies in her courage to face her true self, she knows how to do it, in order to make herself live well.
Therefore, Sheng Minglan did not let herself live in the competition between women, nor did she live in the expectations of men for herself, she lived out the way she should be, and also obtained the happy life she wanted.
Therefore, women want to live well, not blindly good to a person, nor for someone to completely give up their own ideas, but to do the above two points, only in this way, will really live this life.
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