After raising her autistic son for 15 years, my mother learned 12 cultivation secrets

At the age of 3, after Mori made a big fuss in kindergarten, he was taken to the hospital by his mother to be diagnosed with autism.

When he was 7 years old, Sensen went to elementary school, and he wanted to make friends but couldn't do anything about it, but he was scarred by the injury, and his smile disappeared.

At the age of 13, Sensen became a junior high school student, and he used secret weapons to blend into the group, and his face began to glow.

In the process of growing up with her son, Sensen's mother had sadness and confusion, but after experiencing setbacks, she said that she was now "getting better".

"As a parent, you must first build a strong heart before you have the ability to become the sun of your child." Sensen's mother said with emotion.

Text | Sensen Mom

01

The 3-year-old son entered the kindergarten with twists and turns,

He was later diagnosed with autism

My son's name is Sensen, and when he started kindergarten at the age of 3, I thought good times were coming, but things didn't go as smoothly as I thought.

I still remember that on the first day of school, Sen Sen slapped the head of the kindergarten, and the next day he scratched the teacher's arm, and stood at the back of the classroom for a week, so that he would not sit down.

The teacher suggested that we take Sensen to the hospital for examination, and after doing a series of tests, we took the diagnosis in front of us and wrote the words "mild autism", "developmental delay", and "small muscle development deficiency". After reading it, I was dumbfounded, my heart was sour and astringent and mixed with grievances, and I endured until the night before I cried out in pain.

Until the world labeled him, we never thought our children were autistic. Usually, I just think that Sensen speaks a little slower, relies a little on his parents, has difficulty falling asleep, and has a little temper.

Sensen's slowness in language led him to shout when he was slightly unsatisfactory, or scratched the back of my hand with his fingernails. Sometimes when I see the ceiling, I will suddenly hide in my arms, or tell me the strange story of "there is a terrible old man on the doll car".

02

After experiencing social setbacks,

Use secret weapons to blend into the collective

I went to elementary school and knew that I was special, so Sensen was not confident enough.

Because of language and social barriers, he wanted to make friends but he never managed to do it. He leaned on the shoulders of his classmates, either rejected or pushed away, occasionally hitting the wall and bruising or injuring himself.

Gradually, Sensen's smile disappeared.

Fortunately, we found out unusually early, and at that time we were able to accept that Sensen was a special child. Mori's father chose to leave his stable job and become a writer with free time, and the father and son began a special period of early recovery.

Every time he went to class, Sensen improved a little more, accumulating again and again, and gradually narrowing the gap with other children. After the class, the father and son will go to afternoon tea, and Sensen will receive a small box of Lego as a reward. When Dad was writing, Sensen fought lego, and the little muscles developed better and better. In the matter of fighting Lego, he is better than children of the same age, which makes him a little happy.

Sensen's father loves tennis, his son loves to watch ball games, and on weekends we will go to the playground to play tennis.

In order to make him more accustomed to secondary school life in the future, we moved to a more simple community, and in the fifth grade, Sensen changed schools and joined the school's Lele tennis team. Because of the high pumping and the increase in the quality of his body, Sensen became a strong player in the team, and the younger brothers and sisters would cheer when they saw him, and his face began to shine a little.

After entering junior high school, because of his tall age, his classmates began to beat him out of class to play basketball. They occasionally talk about movies and games. Gradually, he also mastered some social skills, and would help his classmates go to convenience stores to buy snacks and borrow their classmates' stationery to show kindness.

I could clearly feel that he was happy at school.

03

From sadness to growth,

My son made me understand these things

Looking back at those days, I now know how to smile! Those deep parent-child companionship is the gift of each other's lives, and the tears of the previous few years are really in vain! In the past fifteen years, from sadness, frustration, and dazedness, to the growth and gradual improvement of the future, here are the things that Sensen made me understand:

1. Autism is not a disease, just a personality trait or bias. Please do not be sad, angry or ashamed, only by accepting the arrangement of life, there will be a happy life.

2. Husband and wife face together, do not blame who is inherited, this is meaningless, just hurt feelings. It is important to remember that a harmonious family atmosphere is very important and is the power of stability. Children with autism are very sensitive, and if there is a slight wrong atmosphere in the home, they can immediately detect it and will obviously feel uneasy and restless. Positive and optimistic parents can give their children the energy to reduce their distance from the world.

3. If your child is trapped in his own world, treat him with empathy and give him a little time. Don't force him, and don't scold him. Talk to him more, and when he thinks clearly, he will come out and face it.

4. Use the people and things he loves, maybe music, movies, food or travel, to lure him out of the hole and make him feel that there are still fun and cute things in this world.

5. Children with autism usually have some allergy problems and a weak stomach. So we try to make him eat prototype, additive-free, processed food. Ingredients with pesticide suspicions, such as beans and cauliflower, are blanched with water. Water must be filtered and boiled and then drunk, drink occasionally, after all, it is still very important to be happy. Don't eat too much sugar food, your mood will be more stable. The clothes are made of breathable and comfortable materials, and if you can, take him to buy them personally. Choose a non-irritating formula for shampoo and body wash as much as possible. Remember to rub on moisturizer or cream after bathing. Buy an air purifier or wearable purifier to make them more comfortable and sleep better. The home environment should be clean and tidy, and the dust mites should be removed regularly. When going out, be sure to wear a mask (if you can).

6. Fixed in difficult to change the characteristics, coupled with language expression barriers, resulting in them easy to get stuck, anxious to lose control of emotions, or even can not stop. Please pat him, hug him, and tell him, "I know you're angry right now." Give him the option to choose and help him figure out what the reason for his current state of crying and screaming is: Are you hungry now? Want to drink water? Don't like this place? Don't like the material of your clothes? Someone is watching you? ...... Only by knowing the current problem can we face and solve the problem together.

7. There is no need to avoid that he is special, everyone is a unique individual. Use picture books to subtly guide him, let him find his own excellence, and build self-confidence.

8. Talk to him more, before going to bed is the most defenseless time, it is easier to enter his inner world.

9. Hug, scratch, massage stomach and scalp before going to bed, reduce his sensitivity. The temperature of the palm of his hand will also make him feel comfortable and relaxed, and it is easier to fall asleep.

10. Establish a good life ritual, once established, it will be a lifetime. Have patience to communicate with him and build together.

11. Let him understand that he can be different from others, but maintain basic interpersonal interaction and courtesy, and train himself to conform to the rules of the school.

12. If conditions permit, he may be given a younger brother or sister. They usually love their families, and sibling affection allows him to learn empathy, stimulate learning to grow, and learn how to love and give.

The so-called cultivation of parents is that they must first establish a strong heart, can not be knocked down by the label of society, and then have the ability to become the sun of their children.

The child's development is slow, give him a little more time to practice, people are originally learning all their lives! Use all your patience to accompany the child to grind slowly, and tell him more "you can", "you are great", "you can do it", "to believe in yourself".

One day, he will be able to adapt, understand, and establish his own small universe and sense of order.

Enlightenment, make rehabilitation more effective!