Mark Twain once said, "A sincere compliment can make me live two more months." "There is no doubt that praise has a positive effect on people.
What parents need to know is how praise can best guide their children's growth. Our common praise may become mantras, such as "you are smart", "you are awesome", "very good, keep trying", etc., but the real praise is not reflected in these general praises.
To praise a child's talents instead of his efforts, strategies, and choices is slowly killing his growth mindset.
Because the biggest difference between growth thinking and fixed thinking is that people think that their intelligence and abilities are quantitative, not variable, in a fixed mode of thinking. People with growth mindsets believe that their abilities can be improved through hard work.
Professor Carol Dweck of Stanford once conducted an experiment on "praising the development of ways and thinking patterns" and found that:
Children with Fixed Mindsets think that effort and difficulty make them feel stupid, while children with Growth Mindset think that effort and difficulty create new neuronal connections that make the brain smarter.
Growth Mindset enables children to embrace learning and growth, understand the role of effort in intellectual growth, and have the ability to adapt well to setbacks. Most importantly, it can be educated and nurtured.
So as a parent,
How we should raise our children
What about growth mindsets?
1
Praise effort
When your child gets good grades, which of the following two mothers praises you, which of the following do you think is more encouraging?
Method one: "You did a great job, baby is awesome!" ”
Method two: "You did a good job, you must be working very hard, keep up the work!" ”
Often use a way to praise the child, the child in the future learning will not pursue the ultimate, challenge themselves, often choose simple tasks, because what he hopes is to complete successfully and get affirmation. And the common way two praise the child, the child will dare to challenge the more difficult task.
In contrast, the growth of the latter is naturally faster than the former.
2
Praise perseverance
When your child tries challenging tasks, such as breaking a Game of Go, trying to climb, and after countless failed attempts, remember to affirm his patience and perseverance.
Compared to "Come on, you can do it!" "Persistence is the greatest success, good performance, keep up the good work!" "More able to encourage the child, and will not bring too much pressure to the child to give up halfway, the child's success will be higher."
3
Praise for detail
When your child's abilities are improved to some extent, remember to praise the details, the more specific the better.
For example: Baby, you are now more standard in your swimming position and have a more even ventilation frequency, making great progress compared to before!
This kind of praise can make children pay attention to their own details, and often details are the key to success or failure.
4
Praise creativity
The child's imagination is the richest, and when the child's imagination is recognized, he will be more willing to think about the world and life.
Children's creativity is the accumulation of creativity and thinking.
So, when your child is full of joy to share his ideas with you, be sure to praise your child!
5
Praise attitude
Whether it is study, work or life, attitude determines quality. When your child finishes his homework and prepares for tomorrow's learning, have you ever praised his learning attitude?
When children complete tasks with a very positive attitude, do not forget to affirm their attitude.
6
Praise the spirit of cooperation
No matter how smart a child is, he can't always do all the work alone in the future. Being able to cooperate well with peers is actually cultivating children's ability to communicate with people and the ability to unite and cooperate.
It's important to praise your child's spirit of cooperation, and when your child completes his group work, tell him: "Your group is working together for a goal, and this spirit will continue to be maintained later in life!" ”
7
Praise leadership
Although some things are not completely done by the child himself, he is responsible for management, he does a good job, because he has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership, which must be praised.
Let the child know that although he is not personally involved in every step, you have achieved it, which is a very important factor.
8
Praise courage
Praising your child for his courage is the best time to help him improve his self-confidence index.
Courage is a child's outward manifestation, and it is also their inner perception of themselves. When children learn to swim, they dare to let go of their parents' hands, and when children are not afraid to learn bicycles, parents should encourage their children: "Dare to face difficulties, is the best quality!" "Help children have an adventurous spirit, be confident, and be confident when children walk independently in the world."
9
Praise for being attentive
The details are often reflected in the small things, and the details reflect the child's comprehensive and multi-angle thinking.
When you go out to play, the child does not forget to bring an umbrella, it is very useful when it rains. Careful children will look at the weather forecast before going out, at this time, parents should praise him for being careful and thoughtful.
10
Praise credit
Good credit is a quality that must be cultivated, so we should help children understand the importance of integrity in time.
For example, when you have an agreement with your child, you can say, "I believe you because everything you said before has been fulfilled." Or "I believe in you, you'll find a good way..."
11
Praise humility
Drawing good advice and experience from others can also improve their own abilities, and people with growth thinking generally have the mentality of learning from others with an open mind and not being arrogant or defeated.
When the child is successful, you can not blindly praise, but guide the child to summarize the gains and losses, so that the child continues to work hard.
When the child fails, let the child learn to listen to the advice of others, and when the child listens carefully to the advice given by others, he must praise the child.
12
Praise choice
Being able to complete tasks well is sometimes due to hard work, but sometimes because we have made the right choices, and praising children for making the right choices is also the key to cultivating growth thinking.
Dear Moms and Dads,
Want to say to the child "You are awesome! "When,
Think again about how to praise
In order to help children grow better!
Source | China Education News