Introduction: There is no doubt about the love of parents for their children, in the process of children's growth, parental care is all-round, no matter how old they are in the eyes of parents, many families think that as long as they have the ability, they must give their children thoughtful and meticulous care, and have the responsibility to protect them. However, it is ignored that as we age, excessive care will become coddling, and the child will lose the opportunity to grow.
In the "Mom is Superman" show, actor Maya Shu is a mother who takes care of her children meticulously, and watching her parenting style can't help but worry. Her spacious living room was empty without a single piece of furniture, and because she was worried that her child would be injured by the collision of the furniture, she removed all the furniture in the living room and sat on the floor with a cushion on the floor.
Usually, if the child has anything to do, as long as she calls her mother, Mayashu will come out at the first time to help solve the problem, and she protects the two children very well. Usually going out to buy vegetables, the child touched the vegetables, she was worried that touching the bacteria would immediately stop it. Always and everywhere do not forget to remind the child to "be careful", such a careful and all-round mother, the child has received enough love, but this love has become hurt.
Daughter goes to kindergarten, because there is no training in life skills, everything is done by her mother, she will not go to the toilet in kindergarten, she cannot eat by herself, pee in her pants on the first day of school, and children do not know how to get along. According to this situation, the kindergarten recommends taking the child home to exercise basic self-care ability, otherwise it will be discouraged.
01, to the child "cut" parents, not love is harmful
Every parent wants their child's life to be easy and carefree, but the reality is not smooth, more difficulties, setbacks and blows come invariably. Over-protecting the child, any difficulty to solve for him is only a temporary good time, do not exercise his life skills, do not cultivate the ability to resist setbacks, the child will be vulnerable and one day will lose to reality.
There is a story with profound meaning that is widely circulated and is very appropriate for educating children. A man found a butterfly pupae with a gap, and the butterfly tried to break free and fly out, but struggled for a long time, and the butterfly did not come out in the end. The man cut the pupa with scissors, and although the butterfly broke free effortlessly, its wings were very thin, and its bloated and fat body seemed very clumsy, and it could not fly normally like other butterflies, but could only squirm on the ground.
In fact, the butterfly struggles with all its strength, which is the process of metamorphosis, so that the liquid in the body squeezes into the wings, making the wings fuller and more powerful, and also preparing for flight. But as soon as the scissors went down, the butterfly lost the opportunity to transform, and although it saved effort, it lost the ability to fly.
Children can transform and grow up through setbacks, in the process of parenting, parents help him solve any difficulties, it seems to be smooth sailing, but in fact, there is less opportunity for tempering. After all, children cannot "fly" full of wings, and they do not have the ability to "fly" freely. Therefore, parents should not be "pupae cutters" and give their children the opportunity to break through the cocoon and become butterflies, which can make him stronger.
02, the transformation of breaking the cocoon into a butterfly is growth
Many parents work hard, cut their own food and clothing but give their children the best material life, accumulate money for their children, and wait until their children and adults do not have to work hard to have the life they want. Parents sacrifice themselves to achieve the next generation, once they are no longer able to provide a good life, and their children do not learn the skills to survive, the decline of the family is inevitable.
As the saying goes, "you can't be rich for three generations" has a certain truth, at least the probability of existence, depending on how parents educate their children.
Buffett and Bill Gates are the richest people in the world and are fully capable of allowing their children and even their children's next generation to enjoy a superior life, but they will still let their children do housework and do odd jobs to earn pocket money. In this way, let the children understand that any acquisition requires hard work and hard work, so that they can learn survival skills.
Parents cultivate their children's independence and sense of autonomy from an early age, and guide them from the time he can walk and speak.
1. Exercise self-care ability
When young children reach the age when they can dress, eat, wash and go to the toilet, parents should not be uneasy and reluctant to give their children the opportunity to complete independently, after all, most aspects of life after entering kindergarten rely on themselves.
2. Try to do housework
Arrange reasonable housework within the child's ability, such as cleaning pots and pans, tidying up the room, taking out the garbage, etc. Experiencing labor and understanding the meaning of labor is also cultivating children's sense of responsibility.
3. Participate in solving life problems
Let children participate in the supermarket to buy daily necessities, pick up and deliver packages, etc. about solving problems encountered in life. Maybe the child is just watching what the parents do, but it also adds to his knowledge of the common sense of life, and the behavior demonstration is more graphic and profound than the deliberate use of language to teach.
4. Give guidance to the child's life and do not interfere
Entering kindergarten and starting a group life, parents can learn more about the child and the child's relationship, understand how he takes care of himself in school, whether it is self-care ability or interpersonal communication, parents give guidance but do not interfere too much.
In this way, the child can have an opinion, because in the future, primary school, middle school, university life, and entering the society need to be faced by him alone, and parents do not have the opportunity to participate at all times.
epilogue:
On the road to growth, the more parents do for their children, the less opportunities he has to exercise, and the more parents help their children make decisions, the worse their children's autonomy. Give children the opportunity to try more hands-on to have the ability to be independent, have experienced setbacks, after struggle can have the courage to overcome setbacks and the ability to overcome difficulties, through the gradual accumulation of experience in order to continue to grow.
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