In the open space of the community, Nini drove a new small electric motorcycle and had a lot of fun. The motorcycle is pink, and there is a Mickey pattern on it, which attracts many children at once.
Tu Tu and Mengmeng both ran over and wanted to play with Nini.
Nini looked back at her mother and asked, "Mom, can there be 3 people on the motorcycle?" ”
Mom said, "No, there are only two seats on the car, only two people." ”
Nini said to the two friends, "Then which of you two is going to come up?" ”
"I want it!" "I want it!" Tu Tu and Meng Meng shouted in unison.
Tu Tu's mother was a little embarrassed, so she wanted to pull Tu Tu away, Tu Tu cried sadly: "I don't, I want to sit on Mickey's motorcycle, I came first..."
Nini is a sensible child, she and the two little partnerships are very good, do not want to make either of them sad. So Nini looked at her mother for help.
Mom whispered to her, "Since you don't want to upset your good friend, you have to find your own way. ”
Nini had a clever move and said to the two friends: "Well, let's send one person to run in front, and the remaining two people will take the car to chase, and when they catch up, they will change to another person to run in front." Do you want to race, see who is so good, faster than a motorcycle! ”
Tu Tu did not cry when he heard it, and the two children were very happy and agreed with each other. Three people chased after me in the clearing, full of laughter and laughter. At night, even my mother couldn't help but like Nini's good idea.
Look, sometimes, it is actually the adults who underestimate the children, in the children's world, their rules of getting along and the ability to think flexibly, they do not need the help of adults, they can solve the problem well.
When there is a conflict between children, they instinctively ask the adult for help. In this case, parents should not directly participate in resolving conflicts, but should encourage children to try to think of solutions on their own.
It is in this process of friction, thinking, and cooperation that children learn to communicate with others and obtain stable interpersonal relationships. The friction and disagreement between children are often caused by a little thing, and no one is right or wrong, and children will not take it to heart.
The child's mind is flexible and simple, in fact, it is easy to come up with a solution that is recognized by both sides, and after a while, the unhappiness will be left behind and played together again. If parents interfere, show a fussy look, and criticize and accuse the child with negative emotions, it will complicate things, and in the long run, the child will form a dependence on the parents, once there is a contradiction with the peer, it is accustomed to finding the parents to solve it, and cannot obtain the ability to socialize independently.
Children's educator Rudolf Drex put it this way in Children: Challenge: "Whatever the children are in conflict over, parents trying to help them make decisions will only make the conflict between them worse." This behavior of parents invisibly deprives children of a good opportunity to exercise their social skills, which is a conflict and dispute that children must experience, and if they want to develop their skills, they must learn from life. ”
As the child grows, the parent will gradually withdraw from his life, so from now on, let them solve the small contradictions in the interaction with their friends. So what should parents do?
1． Believe in your child's abilities
When the child has a conflict with his little partner, what the parents have to do is not to rush to interfere, but to observe with a calm and objective attitude, give the child sufficient time and space, let him exert his ability, try not to rely on the parents, and solve the problem by himself. Parents must have confidence in their children's abilities, in fact their potential is huge, if parents do not interfere, children will often have surprising performance.
2． Give appropriate guidance
Although parents should not interfere with the contradictions between children, it is not to let parents ignore the contradictions of children, parents should follow the rules of their children's growth, give guidance when necessary, and let children gain something in conflict and grow up.
Attentive parents will find that although their children are young, they already have good emotions and a certain sense of morality. When they resolve conflicts on their own, they will say some simple truths. They clash because they all feel that they are right, and this naïve concept of right and wrong, even if there are many elements of "self" and "willfulness", is also a true expression of the child's heart. Parents can define their children's concepts and guide them to form a correct concept of right and wrong.
3． Do not shelter or overprotect your children
Don't blindly act as a protector or protector of your child, don't isolate or protect your child because he loves to create conflicts or be bullied, and encourage him to have more contact with his peers.