In interpersonal interactions, we often encounter various situations where we ask for help.
From a young age, our teachers and parents taught us to help others, and when we grew up, we often regarded helping others and solving problems as doing good deeds.
But in fact, there are some favors that can't be helped, and these seemingly harmless acts of helping can lead us into a whirlpool of bad luck.
As the saying goes, "help people three times, bad luck is riddled with bad luck", don't help these three kinds of help, don't believe the lessons of the people who came over!
1. Violations of moral laws cannot be helped
Every year, there are countless cases of legal disputes due to helping others break the law and commit crimes, and the parties involved in these things often embark on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes because of temporary righteousness or greed, and eventually not only end up in prison themselves, but also affect their family and friends.
Therefore, we must always keep a clear head and resolutely refuse to participate in any illegal and criminal activities.
Li Qiang is a hard-working truck driver who busily shuttles between the city and the countryside every day, running for life.
Li Qiang has a bold personality and is willing to help others, so he has made a lot of friends.
One day, Li Qiang's buddy Zhang Tao found him and asked him to help send a domestic sheep to another place.
Zhang Tao said that this is a sheep raised by his relatives, because it is urgently needed there, so he hopes that Li Qiang can help send it over as soon as possible.
Li Qiang thought that this was just a gesture, so he readily agreed.
The next day, Li Qiang got up early, checked the vehicle, and prepared to hit the road, and he carefully loaded the sheep into the carriage to make sure it was not injured or frightened.
Along the way, Li Qiang drove the truck carefully, for fear of any accidents.
However, when Li Qiang drove to a certain section of the road, he was suddenly stopped by the traffic police for inspection.
The traffic police carefully inspected Li Qiang's documents and vehicle, and then found the sheep in the carriage.
The traffic police asked Li Qiang where the sheep came from, and Li Qiang truthfully said that it was sent to a friend and was domestic.
After hearing this, the traffic police immediately inspected the sheep, and after some identification, the traffic police were surprised to find that the sheep was not domesticated, but a precious wild antelope.
According to the law, it is illegal to transport wild animals without permission.
When Li Qiang heard the news, he was stunned, he didn't expect that he would be involved in such trouble.
He hurriedly explained to the traffic police that he really didn't know that it was a wild antelope, and that he was just doing his friend a favor.
However, the law is serious and does not exempt you from liability for not knowing it.
The traffic police seriously criticized and educated Li Qiang and fined him in accordance with the regulations.
Li Qiang felt deep remorse and self-blame, he blamed himself for not paying more attention and easily believing his friend's words.
And Zhang Tao was also imprisoned because of this incident, and at the same time lost his good buddy.
When faced with a friend's request for help, we should remain sober and rational and not easily trust the words of others.
At the same time, we should also enhance our awareness of the law and self-protection, so as to avoid falling into the situation of breaking the law because of ignorance.
In real life, we may encounter some people who try to take advantage of us, and they may induce us to act in various ways that violate moral laws.
If we can define the boundaries of morality and law, we will be better able to identify the true intentions of these people and firmly reject their demands.
At the same time, it can also help us avoid falling into legal risks and protect our legitimate rights and interests from infringement.
Second, you can't help beyond your ability
Everyone's abilities are limited, and if you blindly agree to a request for help beyond your own ability, you will not only bring a heavy burden to yourself, but also may damage the interests of the other party due to the inability to fulfill your promises.
Therefore, when deciding whether or not to help, we need to do what we can and not just help for the sake of face.
Zhao Younan and Cao Yi are colleagues in the same company, Zhao Younan and Cao Yi are both enthusiastic and cheerful people, because the two are in a group, they usually get along a lot, and the relationship is also good.
One afternoon, Zhao Younan received a call from home and learned that there was something at home that she needed to go back to deal with.
She was anxious, but she couldn't delay her work, so she thought of asking her colleague Cao Yi for help.
Zhao Younan found Cao Yi and sincerely asked her to help write a summary of today's work, Cao Yi looked at Zhao Younan's anxious appearance, and readily agreed.
However, Cao Yi's work was extremely busy that day, and she not only had to complete her own tasks, but also assist other departments in dealing with some emergencies.
In her busyness, she gradually forgot that Zhao Younan asked her to help write a work summary.
It wasn't until she got home from work in the evening that she suddenly remembered it, but it was too late.
The next day, Zhao Younan was fined by the leadership for failing to submit a work summary on time.
She felt very aggrieved and angry, thinking that Cao Yi agreed to help, but failed to do it, and deliberately made it difficult for her.
And Cao Yi also felt very guilty, she explained to Zhao Younan that she forgot because she was too busy with work, but Zhao Younan didn't listen.
The relationship between the two became tense because of this, and since then, Zhao Younan has not said a word to Cao Yi.
And Cao Yi also tried to apologize to Zhao Younan and make up for his mistakes, but Zhao Younan never let go.
In this way, colleagues who had a good relationship were estranged because of a trivial matter.
Instead of helping and supporting each other as much as they used to in their work, they have become distant and indifferent.
However, as time passed, Zhao Younan began to reflect on whether his attitude was a bit excessive, and Cao Yi also deeply realized that his negligence had caused trouble to Zhao Younan.
In a team building, the two decided to untie the knot.
Cao Yi apologized to Zhao Younan again, saying that when she helped in the future, she would keep her promise, and Zhao Younan also said that she had not done well enough.
After this exchange, the two finally reconciled.
In our daily lives and work, we are often faced with various requests, many of which are beyond our means, and it is not indifferent to refuse them, but wise.
When we honestly reject requests that are beyond our capabilities, the other party is often able to understand and respect our decision.
Conversely, if we are reluctant to say yes but fail to deliver on our promises, we will not only damage our own credibility, but we may also damage our relationship with the other person.
Therefore, we must learn to refuse to be busy beyond our ability, which is also a science of interpersonal communication.
Third, the help of emotional entanglements cannot be helped
Emotional issues are often complex and sensitive, and the slightest carelessness can lead to a series of problems and conflicts.
Especially between friends, when they have emotional problems, we may intervene because we want to mediate.
However, since we don't know what both sides really think and feel, it is likely to lead to things becoming more complicated and confusing.
When helping, if it involves feelings, we should try to avoid excessive involvement and interference, so as not to do bad things with good intentions.
Xiaohui and Xiaofang are hardcore best friends from childhood to adulthood, and the two have a close relationship, no matter whether they are happy or angry, they will confide in each other.
Xiaohui has a long-standing boyfriend named Sun Peng, who has always been good to Xiaohui, but occasionally makes some small mistakes.
Last year, Xiaohui's birthday came, and she waited for Sun Peng's surprise with great anticipation, but Sun Peng forgot it all.
Xiaohui was extremely disappointed and very angry, she felt that she was not important in Sun Peng's heart, so she quarreled with him.
As Xiaohui's good sister Xiaofang, after learning about this, she was very angry, she felt that Sun Peng was too careless, how could she forget her good friend's birthday?
So, she decided to call Sun Peng and accuse him of being careless and not loving her best friend.
However, Sun Peng felt that Xiaofang was nosy, and he thought that Xiaohui should talk to him directly, rather than convey it through others.
Xiaofang was very angry when she heard this, she felt that Sun Peng not only forgot Xiaohui's birthday, but also did not appreciate her kindness.
She decides to go to Xiaohui and tell her what happened.
After Xiaohui learned that Xiaofang went to find Sun Peng for her, she was very moved, she felt that Xiaofang was really her good sister, and she always cared about her feelings.
However, when she heard that Sun Peng disliked Xiaofang for being nosy, she was even more angry.
Xiaohui decides to make decisions for Xiaofang, and she finds Sun Peng and tells him that she can't accept his attitude.
She thinks that Sun Peng not only forgot her birthday, but also disrespected her friends.
The two quarreled more intensely, and in the end, Xiaohui decided to break up with Sun Peng.
Sun Peng thought it was Xiaohui's angry words at first, but after a while, Xiaohui still didn't get back together with him.
And Xiaohui's side also couldn't wipe her face to find Sun Peng because she proposed to break up, and she was always sad in her heart.
Xiaofang knew that if she didn't help her sister solve her relationship problems, she wouldn't let the two loving people break up, and after she realized her problem, she took the initiative to apologize to Sun Peng.
Later, Sun Peng also knew that Xiaofang had no malice, just for his sisters, he forgave Xiaofang and coaxed Xiaohui well, and the two of them were as sweet as in the past.
Sometimes when we help others solve emotional problems, it is easy to bring in our own subjective thoughts, or be biased and manage people well, and ignore the truth of the matter.
This kind of approach will not only not solve the problem, but will also complicate things, and even do things that destroy other people's feelings.
In addition, emotional issues often involve personal privacy and sensitive topics, and if we fail to properly handle this information, it may cause unnecessary distress and harm to our friends.
As friends, we need to listen, not make decisions.
By listening sincerely and showing our support for our friends, we can also better help our friends get out of emotional difficulties.
This not only solves the problems of your friends, but also maintains your relationship.