I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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It's new year again, and the children are elated, excited to live today and look forward to tomorrow, and feel only happiness.
The adult world is not so simple, adults every New Year, there are many problems to consider, the problem of giving gifts to relatives and friends, the problem of sending red envelopes to the children of relatives and friends.
These "human relationships" have left adults breathless.
New Year's Eve, spending money, may also cause unpleasantness.
Three children in a relative's family, one child in my family, how to pay back the money?
Talking about the exchange of New Year's gifts, I have to mention the child's pressure money.
Pressing the age money, originally it was the "pressure money" given to the child by people who were close to each other, which was a manifestation of the love for the child.
Pressing the old money is not simply pressing the old money, until now, for thousands of years, the pressure on the old money is the interpersonal relationship.
Seeing such a post on the Internet, netizens complained that her husband's sister had three children at home, and her own family had a child, and her sister-in-law gave her son 1,000 yuan, which made her very embarrassed.
In the past, the old money was relatively small, she made every child the same every time, the sister-in-law gave 100 yuan, she gave 100 yuan respectively, and finally lost 200 yuan.
The more money the sister-in-law gave, the more she lost.
This sister-in-law directly gave 1,000 yuan, she simply did not know how to be good, this time to lose 2,000 yuan.
She can't afford to give money like this.
In fact, when such entangled emotions are generated, the processing method is very simple, indicating that we can't feel love and fairness from this relationship, and there is no need to reluctantly support it, and the average score of three children is 1,000 yuan.
How to give children money, or to see the depth of friendship
If the two families are full of love in the process of intercourse, we can do it completely, even if there is no parent of the other party, we can also love each other's children, and the money is really based on the actual conditions of the individual family, rather than according to how much each other gives, how much will we have.
For example, after the two sisters get married, the relationship between the two families is very good, the two sisters love each other's children very much, and they are dedicated to each other's good, at this time, whether the money is balanced or not, or it does not matter if they lose money.
My relationship with my sister's family is very good, never bother to give more to less, my family's annual income is a little more, although the sister's family is not a good life, but raising three children, the pressure will be greater, based on this reality, I will buy them thousands of yuan of New Year goods every new year, and then everyone gives a big red envelope, clearly tell my sister not to give my baby more packages, more packages do not want.
Because we genuinely care about our children, not to maintain the relationship between the two families.
But if the relationship is very general, pressing the old money is just a courtesy exchange, it must not be the case, both sides must be interesting, if there is always one party who wants to take advantage, there will always be a time when it is not cheap.
The child's pressure on the old age is the macro performance of family relations
When we clear up this relationship, it is much easier to press the old money.
For relatives who are close to each other, how much money they have to pay for the age is related to family conditions, and the feelings are really in place, so it doesn't matter how much.
Feelings in place, both sides pay, when the other gives more, the other party will be grateful, will be content, and with greater sincerity opposite.
At this time, it is not important to press the old money by hundreds or hundreds.
Some families obviously can't help, and when it comes to the New Year, they will help each other in the way of pressing the old money, which is an admirable emotion.
And for some relatives and friends who usually rarely come and go, and will only come and go in the New Year, pressing the old money is nothing more than a kind of courtesy exchange, when this becomes a courtesy exchange, "how much" becomes a core content.
How much pressure money to give, and how much pressure money to give, must be reciprocal.
In this way, you will feel a little more comfortable, otherwise during the New Year, just by pressing the old money, you may lose thousands of dollars, which is really a loss-making business.
Therefore, parents should not reluctantly support for the sake of face, and finally feel depressed in their hearts.
When pressing the old age money is only the macro performance of the relationship between the two families, there is nothing bad about it despite the calculation.
It is a big deal that the two sides should not maintain this relationship that is as thin as paper.
To avoid trouble, the money can be changed to the style of "red packet"
A good friend shared her family group about the changes in pressing old money.
She has two older sisters, one child in her family, one child in her second sister's family, three children in her eldest sister's family, and the annual pressure money, she and the second sister basically do not owe each other one, and the eldest sister's family has more children, and will collect more pressure money.
Although the relationship is very good, but over time, the children gradually grow up, psychological imbalance is inevitable, so they change the way.
Now that the children are in middle school, the second sister proposed to change the way of pressing the old money, changing it to "sending red envelopes", and grabbing the old money by virtue of her ability.
For example, in the past, the second sister gave each child 500 yuan of money, and now it is changed to send this money to the family group, and everyone grabs the red envelope.
The child prefers this style, and she is much more comfortable in her heart.
New Year is a festive day, pressing the old money is also to add color, must not be for the pressure of the old money such a thing, make it unpleasant, originally is kind, to the children also bring a good experience, the result because of improper distribution, or improper form, hurt the feelings of the two families.
The feelings of both parties are to be maintained by both parties, and one party always has a careful thinking and wants to take advantage, then the feelings of both parties are bound to be affected.
Feelings are mutual, even if they are close as sisters and brothers, they also need to be well maintained together, and the relationship can get better and better.
And the behavior of parents, the child looks in the eyes, the parents maintain well, the future children's relationship will also be maintained well, if there is a problem in the relationship between the two families in the parents' generation, it is likely to affect the relationship between the children in the end.