Many children are still children in the eyes of their parents, even if they have formed a family. Parents still think of their children as children first and friends second. As times have evolved, many parents have begun to change their attitudes. Some parents keep a certain distance from their children and no longer interfere with what they do or make intimate gestures to them. However, there are still some parents who have not figured out how to educate their children, which leads to some children relying too much on their parents, or some parents relying too much on their children, which is not beneficial to the independent growth of children.
Now that information is developed, you can see all kinds of explosive information on the Internet, such as mothers who are too dependent on their children after finding a partner, unable to control their emotions, and affecting the relationship between children and husbands. When the boundaries between parents and children are too blurred, the harm to the child is immeasurable.
01 How to deal with your child's "intimacy"
When our children are infants, we want to give them all the best things in the world. As children get older, parents arrange everything for them, and being too intimate with their behavior, they not only become dependent, but also detrimental to the child's independence in the long run.
First, prevent your child from relying on themselves
In the eyes of his parents, his own child is always a child, and even if a boy grows up and is married, he is still dependent on his mother like an unanheated baby, asking his mother to arrange everything for him, without realizing that he is an individual who needs his own space. Even if the boy forms a family, he cannot leave his original family
Second, keep your distance at the right time
It's so cute when the child is very young that parents can't help but kiss him on the cheek, squeeze his lips, and hug him. As the child gets older, although he still treats him as a child, he will deliberately keep a distance from them.
When parents can't keep their distance from their children and continue to treat their children like babies, children will lack a sense of boundaries. Taking it for granted that parents will treat them differently and that when something bad happens, it can cause irreversible damage to the young mind of the child.
When a girl's sense of boundaries for her body is unclear, she believes that any form of intimate contact with her is a legitimate act of someone else, a legitimate interaction between good friends. Completely unaware that she was being hurt or that she had to protect herself.
When a boy's sense of physical boundaries is blurred, it can lead to children believing that these intimate encounters are not important, that it is irresponsible to have overly intimate physical contact with the girl, and that they end up being irresponsible.
Third, reduce the "control" of the child
Some parents expect high things from their children when they are very young, arranging everything for them, such as which interest classes the child should take and how many points the child should score on the test. They put all their unfulfilled wishes on their children, not only demanding, but also overly interfering with the child's personal space. Children who grow up in this environment for a long time will feel very anxious and sleepy. Ultimately, this damages the parent-child relationship, leading to an escalation and intensification of conflict between parents and children.
We can't think of the child as a part of ourselves, the child is an independent individual in itself, and if the parents don't keep their distance, it is the child who will suffer in the future. Some parents have great expectations of their children when they are very young, arranging everything for them, such as which interest courses the child should take and how many points the child should score on the test.
02 is the limit of the body
Education experts advise parents not to deliberately treat his intimate parts from the age of three. Although the children are still young, they have gradually learned about their gender, and now it is time to teach them not to touch their private parts. It is important that they know to close the door when going to the toilet and not let outsiders see it. If the girl is changing clothes, she needs the help of her mother and her father needs to know to avoid it at the right time. If it is a boy changing clothes, the father has to help and the mother has to stay out of the way.
Keep your distance from the bottom line
It is only when parents keep the minimum distance from their children that they understand how to do and not do the right thing. Only when they grow up will they keep a minimum distance from others, know how to protect themselves, and avoid risks.
Maintain the psychological bottom line
When the child enters puberty and is no longer a child, parents should keep up with the development of the child, no longer as careful as before, and let it go. We need to accept our children's development and respect their choices. We can make children age-appropriate and make them aware of their responsibilities and obligations.
Only when parents can let go in time can children grow into a big tree, gradually know how to respect people, and can maintain boundaries that are not easily crossed, and can also protect themselves from external harm.
When children are very young, they need the care and attention of their parents. As they get older, we have to let go and let them deal with their own problems. Confident children appreciate what they have and have a stronger sense of responsibility. They know how to protect themselves when they are out and about.
Conclusion: Parents love their children very much, they can't help but kiss their faces, stroke their backs, hug them, tease them, these all reflect their love for their children. As our children grow up, we need to know how to withdraw from their lives and maintain some physical boundaries with them. Only in this way can they protect themselves, form an independent personality, and grow into a responsible person.