What makes our children procrastinate? What causes our children to have impaired mobility
What makes our children procrastinate? And what causes our children to lose their mobility? One is the lack of internal power, and the other is the lack of motivation divided into two types. I wanted to study hard, but I just couldn't keep going. What am I going to do? I really want to read more, but what if I can't calm down?
These things need to be paid and worked on all the time to persevere, then what needs to be done is not attractive enough, and it needs to be paid and worked hard all the time to become a reason to destroy the action force. And, too often, our intentional or unintentional words are destroying our child's motivation. For example, to help children arrange everything in their studies and lives, children are like puppets, they don't need to think about why, they just need to complete the actions we designed.
For example, if the child asks why we are doing this, we are doing everything for your own good. A hasty response is an intrinsic motivation to destroy the child, who from the bottom of his heart does not want to do what he needs or wants to do.
Second, external motivation undermines internal motivation. Nowadays, many children's learning is exchanged by parents with external incentives. Whenever they get good grades, parents reward their children with something they love.
Over time, however, these rewards are not attractive to them. Instead, they make too many children feel like they're learning for rewards. When they're not interested in rewards or their parents can't meet his requirements, they certainly don't have the motivation to learn. Some Buddhist children simply do not want to overcome the difficulties of learning tasks for unnecessary material or enjoyment.
Third, I was too concerned about what the outside world said about my results, and many parents heard it. You might ask the teacher, didn't you just say that the movements were poor because the results of things were not attractive enough? In fact, these two points are not contradictory. When a person is too young to achieve a goal, he may generate motivation and also develop fear.
Helping children determine goals that are difficult to moderate and helping them reduce stress appropriately is the most scientific and rational help for children. Poor liquidity is always the best time to make a change.
Therefore, to change the current situation of poor children's mobility, what we need to do most is to collect various temptations, chat with children equally and sincerely, find out the truest reason for children's poor mobility, and then think of ways, so that we can be targeted and give targeted guidance.
Now let's talk about the motivation to save the child. First of all. Let interest be the engine. We all know that an engine means a steady stream of power, an inexhaustible force that helps us keep moving forward. As long as we are careful, we will find that most of the child's poor mobility is reflected in things that he is not interested in. So it's wise to turn interest into an engine.
First, give positive feedback on your child's behavior in a timely manner. Feedback should be clear, specific and timely. In the feedback, it should also be implied that if you work hard, you may succeed in the future, etc. , thus stimulating the child's interest in events in the external environment. Second, guide children to actively attribute their own behavior. When attributing behavioral causes, children should be guided to internal attribution.
For example, I didn't do well on the test because I haven't worked hard enough lately. This is good for the child's internal attribution, from another point of view, that is, from the inside out of the depth to stimulate the child's interest, and most importantly to promote the child's deep understanding of the meaning of the thing itself. Second, learn time management. Most children have their own approach to time management. For children who already have their own time management strategy, we can discuss with the child whether the strategy is effective or what other problems exist.
For example, the progress is too tight, the activity is too intensive, and the possibility of continuous realization is relatively small. We can advise children whether to lower their demands on themselves slightly, and then gradually increase the compactness of time after gradually reaching the set goals. In the process, we should calm down. We discuss with children on the basis of equality, and equality and respect will make children more accepted.
Third, we can also guide children to learn to meditate. People always move forward better with a sense of accomplishment rather than frustration. When children make their own plans but don't stick to them, we can guide them to find their most comfortable position, sit down to relaxing music, close their eyes, and imagine that the plan is a seed. Stick to it once a day, and the seeds will grow little by little, slowly sprouting and growing into saplings. After a month, the saplings will grow luxuriantly and eventually grow into a large, plump-winged tree.
Over time, the child will start to want to act and really do it. Today, I will introduce you to several improved models. Dynamic methods, which are first and foremost specific small methods of successful mapping. The first is to have specific and feasible clear goals, specifically what to do, when to do, and be precise in time planning, specific to every minute or to what extent, so as to avoid the dilemma of many choices, but also an aspect of improving action.
You can guide children to set two goals for their learning, one is long-term, such as what kind of school they want to enter, and the other is short-term, that is, to plan what aspects they can work on in the recent semester. However, these plans should be concrete and feasible. For example, if the child writes that the next test will be improved by 30 points, we must also give appropriate suggestions according to the child's situation.
You can distribute these 30 points to each subject, which subject can improve by a few points. If such a large goal is divided into small goals, and the small goals are specific, they can be well achieved.
Second, turn the micro into the small. For example, memorize an English word every day, or do two sit-up exercises a day, or watch one minute a day to restore vision. This base should be small enough that you can do it effortlessly.
Habits are too small to fail. Micro habits are small goals, because the goals are small, so there is no pressure to do it, and it will not be resisted by the brain. Small actions avoid excessive consumption of self-control, and then use a small action to let us see the output and results of doing so, so that there is a motivation to continue.
Third, punch in WeChat. Punching in the circle of friends is a process of being supervised by others, because with the supervision of others and an easy to complete micro-habit, it is easier for children to stick to it. Of course, children may not like this kind of public punching. Then we can make a micro-habit plan for ourselves and our children. Mutual supervision between parents and children is also a way to promote parent-child relationships and reduce conflicts.