Dahe News Yu video reporter Cai Junyan
In winter, it gets dark early, and due to the impact of the epidemic, there are many fewer vehicles and pedestrians on the streets of Zhengzhou. When Ms. Zhu, a citizen, returned home from a busy day's work, it was already 8 p.m. Before I could even eat dinner, I heard my phone ringing, and my instinct was "My son misses his mother again."
Sure enough, 5-year-old Yang Yang video chatted with her on a relative's mobile phone, and the first sentence asked: "Mom, when are you going to pick me up?" I miss you guys, I want to go home! ”
"Yang Yang, wait a few days for the aunt to give birth to the baby, the mother will go to pick you up!" Soon Ha..." Ms. Zhu coaxed, seeing the child hang up the video with a look of grievance, the eye sockets were hot, and she didn't have the heart to eat.
Received an urgent notice from the school that high school teachers and students should leave the school early, after starting online teaching on the 10th, Ms. Zhu and her husband and wife, who are office workers, rushed to ask for help from relatives in the western suburbs of Zhengzhou, "fiercely" sent the second treasure to relatives' homes for foster care, unexpectedly, just sent to a relative's home, relatives' homes were classified as control areas, and they couldn't pick up their children...
(Photo: Under the epidemic, protecting children is the biggest wish of every parent)
Under the epidemic situation, Erbao's parents are too difficult, especially if there is no one at home to help - the words circulated in the circle of friends make Ms. Zhu feel empathy. When the epidemic mercilessly affects people's lives, how many parents of Erbao face the challenge of working to support their families and bringing their babies? How do they "carry"?
The second treasure of foster care
"These days, every day is tormented, sleep is not good, when I think of the child's heart is uncomfortable..." Whenever she talks about sending Erbao to a relative's house for foster care, Ms. Zhu has unspeakable guilt.
Who wants to give their child away? There is no other way. Ms. Zhu, who lives in Zhengdong New District, told reporters that Dabao read the second year of high school, learning to grasp tightly, Erbao 5 years old is naughty and noisy, no one at home to take care of, but also afraid of affecting Dabao learning; take the unit, it is not realistic, the couple is a unit middle level, one is a business executive, a lot of various affairs years ago, busy, there is no energy to take care of children.
Fortunately, there are relatives in Zhengzhou, who are Ms. Zhu's distant aunts. After the birth of the second treasure, this relative helped to take care of it until the child went to kindergarten. It was precisely because of this emotional basis that she thought of sending her child to a relative's house at an extraordinary time.
Although the child is not happy, there is no way. On the day she was sent over, despite her mother's reassurance over and over again, she still cried her heart and lungs...
(Pictured: The little girl who was brought to the company by her mother played with tablets to relieve boredom many times)
The situation of epidemic prevention and control is severe and complicated, and what Ms. Zhu is worried about has happened - not long after the child was sent, her relatives' home was classified as a control area, whether she can enter or leave, she worries every day.
"Mom, you're busy at work, so can't you let Your Dad not go to work with me?" When video chatting, Yang Yang asked.
"That's not okay, your father has to go to work to earn money to pay off the mortgage, or our family's house will be auctioned off as someone else's..." Ms. Zhu's words made the child seem to understand, and the little guy realized from his mother's serious expression that it would not work.
On the afternoon of January 12, Ms. Zhu's unit held a plenary meeting to clarify the work tasks for the next week. She thought about getting the baby back when she was done next week.
She must also be ready to bring the child back as soon as possible, because her aunt's daughter is about to give birth, "although the relatives did not say anything, but we are not embarrassed to let the family help us with the child when the girl gives birth." 」 ”
Fortunately, with the improvement of the epidemic prevention and control situation, the area where the relatives' home is located has been adjusted from a control area to a prevention area, which makes Ms. Zhu breathe a sigh of relief.
The couple's "1+1" division of labor
Under the epidemic situation, some people "group children" with babies, have you heard of it? Ms. Wu, a citizen who is also worried about bringing a baby to work, was moved when she heard colleagues in the unit share this method.
(Photo: Online parent meeting, class teacher motivates parents and students)
She heard her colleagues say that in order to solve the problem of having to go to work and no one to bring their children, some parents reported to the group for warmth, and came up with a way to "organize a group" to bring a baby, that is, to ask the neighbors of the same community, good relations, and energy, to send the children to the other party to help take care of them during the day, of course, they will also thank others in an appropriate way.
After thinking about it, Ms. Wu found that there was no such suitable person in the community where she lived.
"With children can have to worry, but also to take responsibility, the relationship is not iron enough, people may not be willing to help not say, we are not at ease." 」 She could only find another way out.
Ms. Wu's family is also two babies, Dabao is in the second grade, and Erbao is in kindergarten. After the in-laws helped to bring up the child, she was more willing to stay in the rural hometown, she and her lover took care of the two treasures while working, and the life was "tired and happy".
Extraordinary times, two babies with you? After the couple discussed, there was a clear division of labor of "1 +1" - the father took the son to the unit, and the mother took the girl to the unit.
To truly implement it, it also faces no small challenges -
Ms. Wu's lover works in Zhengdong New District and it takes 1 hour to drive from home to the unit. In order not to delay Dabao's early reading at 7:20 a.m., the father and son need to get up before 6 a.m.
In order to let them go out to eat hot rice, Ms. Wu had to make an appointment for porridge with a rice cooker the night before, and she had to get up at 5:30 to stir-fry vegetables and hot steamed buns. Fortunately, the lover's unit has a canteen, lunch does not need to be prepared, bring a lunch box to the canteen to make a meal.
Ms. Wu's unit is not too far from home, and it takes ten minutes to ride an electric car. In the morning, she had to take her child to the unit before 8:10 a.m. to clock in— the unit required employees to clock in four times a day, and late arrivals and early departures were punished.
"Why can it not affect the work?" The child has to drink water for a while, pee for a while, and let her play with her for a while. When she was too busy, Ms. Wu had to use the "must kill" to make the child quiet - give the tablet to the child to play, but she was entangled in her heart: when the child plays a game, it is indeed very quiet, but in case there is "Internet addiction" in the future, is it not more troublesome?
At the moment, she couldn't think of a more effective way.
During extraordinary times, the unit is more tolerant of bringing the baby to work
"Xiao Chen, do you still take your child to the office in the afternoon?" The girl also wants to go, and the two children can play together. Before going out, Mr. Yang, a citizen, quickly called his colleagues to communicate.
"I didn't go in the afternoon, the child made a lot of noise in the office in the morning, I told the leader, work from home in the afternoon." The words of his colleagues made him somewhat disappointed - the child was brought to the unit and no one played with him, which meant that he had to devote more energy to accompanying him.
Mr. Yang's family is also two children, Dabao is a high school sophomore, the child is more self-disciplined, the Online class does not need to be managed, and the parents do a good job of logistical support. The "trouble" is that Erbao, who has just turned 4 years old, is very clingy and has constant requirements.
After the epidemic hit Zhengzhou again, Mr. Yang was repeatedly transferred to the nucleic acid testing sampling point to help, a busy is most of the day, the second treasure is taken care of by the lover who can work from home, "She has to be busy with work, but also with the baby, cooking and doing housework, it is also very hard." In extraordinary times, the couple became "comrades-in-arms" fighting side by side.
On January 12 and 13, Zhengzhou City no longer carried out nucleic acid testing for all employees, and Mr. Yang was busy sorting out various assessment materials that needed to be submitted before the Spring Festival, and he was still not allowed to be idle. However, when his lover offered to let him take her to the office for two days and go out for work when he had something to do, he agreed.
(Picture: Kindergarten children take a holiday at home in advance, and parents need to play with them)
"During the extraordinary period, the unit is more tolerant of employees taking their children to work, which makes me worry more." Mr. Yang said he would bring more toys or art tools to the office and let the children play, and he was busy working on the side. Despite this, taking the child to work still inevitably affects the work efficiency, and he is busy until more than seven o'clock in the evening before taking the child home.
At this time, the lover makes dinner for the parents after work, and the family sits around to eat and chat, which is also a small blessing on ordinary days.
"Because I have had anti-epidemic experience before, this epidemic has come again, and I am less afraid in my heart, and I feel that many things 'will always come', and I am more relaxed." After experiencing hardships and hardships, Mr. Yang's mentality is calmer. He said that although the epidemic has brought many inconveniences to everyone's life, work and study, it is precisely because everyone works together to fight the epidemic that we can effectively protect the lives and health of more people, and everyone deserves to do a good job in epidemic prevention and control, but also to protect ourselves. ”
Because of love, so "carry"
"I didn't study well in the morning, and I played games while taking online classes in the house, which made me have a headache!" On the morning of the 12th, Ms. Zhu saw that Dabao was not concentrating on studying, and she quarreled with the child in a fit of anger. It is difficult to go to the unit with a calm mood, and I can't rest assured that the child is alone at home...
That night, just when she was thinking about how to communicate with her children, outside the intensive care unit of a hospital in Zhengzhou, citizen He Manli comforted the children at home and was busy answering questions for the parents who consulted.
She is also the mother of the second treasure, is experiencing the "darkest moment" in her life - because her mother was unfortunately injured and comatose, she is being treated in the hospital, she is outside the intensive care unit, praying that the mother will wake up soon, and the two children who are in primary school are cared for by their lovers.
"Erbao was in the first grade, just used WeChat to send me a few crying expressions, said: Mom, the teacher let me dictate new words, I only listened to write 73 correctly, out of a sweat ..." She felt the child's anxiety and sadness after listening, and hurriedly said: "Mother knows that you want to write more words correctly, when the teacher dictates, you are worried and anxious, at the same time, my mother also believes that you will have your own experience the next time you dictate." ”
(Photo: Students who take online classes at home also have to adapt to the new learning environment)
He Manli's profession is an internationally certified P.E.T parent effectiveness training, parent-child communication lecturer, through knowledge sharing, guide parents to raise children in a P.E.T way that does not cross the line, does not judge, does not hurt, and is effective, making parent-child relationship and parent-child communication easier, so that children become healthier, happier and more responsible people. One of the most important tasks is to teach parents the skills of effective communication with their children and make gradual suggestions to resolve family conflicts.
"Under the influence of the epidemic, parents and children are under pressure, people are easy to be irritable, and they have to pay more attention to communication methods, otherwise it is easy to have conflicts." He Manli urged parents to pay attention to maintaining emotional peace, to understand and accept children, not to criticize or accuse when children have emotions, and to listen more to children's moods and feelings. At the same time, when parents are disturbed by their children, it is best to express themselves without accusation or judgment. For example, if the mother is busy making a report, the child has to pestering her to play with herself, and the mother cannot accuse the child: Didn't you see that the mother was busy? How can you not understand things a little? Instead, I want to tell the child: the mother is not busy, you make me very embarrassed and anxious, I am worried about affecting the work process, the mother will be criticized by the leader. In short, parents sincerely express their feelings, and when they come to communicate with their children, their children will understand their parents better.
"Cheer for every struggling self! The epidemic is repeated, life is not easy, people reach middle age, heavy responsibilities on the shoulders, at this stage, each of us middle-aged people must shoulder their own responsibilities! No matter what, no matter how serious the epidemic is, our lives will continue. "Let's count the days and wait for vientiane to update, the wind and rain, the spring light and the Xi..." On the evening of January 9, Liu Bing, the second (5) class teacher of the Henan Experimental Middle School Wenbo School, said a heartfelt speech at the online parent-teacher meeting, which made Mr. Yang and other parents feel very touched and encouraged.
After Teacher Liu Bing's "golden sentence" was disseminated through the Internet, it also warmed Ms. Wu, Ms. Zhu and more people.
"Carry it, and it's over." Ms. Zhu sighed that under the epidemic, whether it is Erbao's parents or others, everyone is "carrying" heavy responsibilities, behind this, it is because of love - want to do more for you, hope to take better care of you love, carry it over, will eventually usher in a bright spring light...
He Manli also "cheered" everyone up in the circle of friends: every hardship and setback we experience will plant the seeds of tenacity in the depths of the soul.
Source: Dahe Newspaper Yu Video Editor: Qu Ke