01
Some readers said: "I only have one sentence to say to my parents, I have paid off my debts in this life, and I hope that I will not see each other again in the next life!" ”
That's really heart-wrenching. It seems that between children and parents, it is "you raise me to grow up, I accompany you to old age", a very helpless relationship of gratitude.
As a post-70s me, when I was in junior high school, my family has always been very difficult, and the tuition fee of tens of yuan also has to be owed to the school on credit. For this reason, a few days before the final exam, the teacher would call me to the office and very euphemistically say that children who could not afford to pay the tuition could not take the exam.
My self-esteem took a serious hit, I cried home, yelled at my mother, why are you so poor?
The mother cried, and the father drank wine and was silent for a long time.
Today, I'm an adult too. In my subconscious, never let my children, live a poor life, must get rid of all the influence of their parents on me.
It's my only dream to make money. Because, I'm really poor.
The ancients said, "Everything is cause and effect." ”
Indeed, on the way to growth, parents affect their children and change their relationships. Love or hate is a seed rooted in the depths of the soul and grows quietly.
02
The love of parents brings children the courage to love.
Reagan said: "It is true that there are many children who survive the dilemma of single parents or double death, but the needs of children for their parents are still indelible in human nature." ”
When I was in high school, there was a girl in the class, her parents had been divorced for many years, and she and her father were one family. However, her father went out to work for many years, and she could only live with her grandparents.
Infuriatingly, the grandparents are very patriarchal. Every time, the girl's father mailed back something, the grandparents were divided between the two grandchildren, leaving her with just one sentence - the girl, when she grows up, wants to marry, why do you want so many things.
The girl cried heartbroken and said, "This is what my father gave me, why should I give it to them?" ”
Later, before the girl graduated from high school, she went to Dongguan to work. In her heart, she hated the family and didn't want to look back.
A good family must be loved by parents, and children have never been because of a lack of fatherly or maternal love. Even if the family is not very rich, parents often go out to work, but endless worries, every three to five telephone contact, will make people feel that they "do not lack anything".
Of course, it is not that in a single-parent family, the child must not be out, but the child's heart will always feel "something missing", or on the way to growth, he has formed the concept of not daring to believe in love, and the weakness of the heart is self-evident.
As a parent, even if you are divorced, you can't help but "love your children".
03
The "preference" of parents has triggered contradictions between children.
Why do some brothers and sisters grow up together, but when they grow up, they turn against each other.
When their parents were alive, they were hindered by the moral concept of "filial piety" and had to gather together to discuss how to support their parents. Even if it is to the point of indisputable, it is necessary to say a result.
If you look closely, you will find that many brothers and sisters are unwilling to support their parents, and have to ask the elders in the family who can speak to act as intermediaries and make a specific plan.
When their parents passed away, their brothers and sisters dispersed and they could never get together again. At the Time of the New Year, even a greeting seems superfluous.
Someone said: "Brothers and sisters are not harmonious, and parents are responsible." ”
In addition to the traditional idea of son preference, there are also unfair treatment of property by parents, taking money behind their backs to their children who have no interest, prejudice against a daughter-in-law, going to live in the homes of some children for a long time, and helping to bring grandchildren, which are all signs of eccentricity.
Whatever parents do, they can't escape the eyes of their children. Everyone is staring at the "benefits", and it is difficult for parents to level the two bowls of water.
Smart parents, who regard their adult children as friends, always have to discuss more in the face of great right and wrong, rather than unilaterally making decisions. Although there is no absolute fairness in the world, there must be mutual understanding and tolerance, and there is also the sentiment of taking the initiative to give in.
04
The three views of parents are the future of their children.
There is a saying in the countryside: "When you steal a needle when you are a child, you are a thief when you grow up." ”
If parents behave badly, then their words and deeds will distort their children.
For example, parents pick the neighbor's peaches and eat them with relish, without shame. Children will also learn from each other, picking anything with their own hands and taking it for themselves.
The three views of parents directly affect the child's understanding of the world and the direction of life development.
Good parents will tell their children, what is prudence? What is Prudential? Whether there is supervision, we must abide by the moral bottom line and have our own independent thoughts.
From a young age, tell children that "when they grow up, it is useless to go out to work and study", then the child's academic performance will not be much better. If parents have such words, they should reflect on themselves.
Parents, like eagles, should soar with their children, rather than keeping their children in a "warm nest" all the time.
05
Conclusion.
In the TV series "Thirty Only", Gu Jia's father said such a passage: "Children are the debts of our past lives!" If we don't have the ability, we will be the ferryman's boat, and we will send it wherever we can before we close our eyes. They are the big cruise ship themselves, and we have to be the lifeboat on the top, and in case something happens, we are the one who will finally send them to the shore. ”
When Gu Jia was 14 years old, her mother died. Since then, the father has grown up alone with a girl, and life is difficult, but warm.
When Gu Jia grew up, she became rich and had her own house, but her father was old.
One day, Gu Jia dreamed that her father had a heart attack, she was scared out of a cold sweat, she felt that she owed too much to her father, so she persuaded her father to move in with her, but her father refused.
People are old and have difficulties in life, but they cannot cause trouble for their children.
On the other hand, the father in "All Is Good", Su Daqiang, has not been out of the house, and after his wife died, he fell in love with the nanny and gave money to the nanny. Almost gave the house to the nanny. He was also talking about the relationship between his children, and there was no one in his eyes who could see it.
The first step a child takes, the first word he says, the first look at the world... All given by parents will become the background of life.
May you and I embody the appearance of our parents in our lives, and then live ourselves.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.