This is the last lesson of our bronze literacy love class, how to break up correctly?
The science of breaking up is no easier than how to start a relationship.
First of all, you must remember three very important words
1, break up to see the character, this is not false at all.
2) All breakups are premeditated and there is no temporary uprising.
3) The kindest breakup is to cut it off, and you will understand my words after the age of forty.
Whether you understand it or not, the above three sentences, memorize it.
So, let's get back to the subject, how to break up properly? Here mainly refers to the party who has been broken up, the one who takes the initiative to break up, see the three principles we mentioned earlier, he or she, must have considered for a long time, and will also find a lot of evidence that they cannot be together.
First, how to take the initiative to mention the breakup?
1, never use cold violence to break up
Seriously, when it comes to taking the initiative to break up, many people instinctively think, I want to take this feeling cold, to prevent him/her from accepting it (so you understand why there are so many people who break up coldly and violently), and think that this method is particularly smart and humane.
But regret to tell you that this is the most angry way for the party to be broken up, because you don't say anything, inexplicably start to be cold, and you don't seriously explain (cold violent breakups generally don't have serious explanations), and the other party can't understand what they did wrong? What happened to you? They will be suspicious of ghosts, and the more they think about it, the more angry they become.
Your best bet is to say directly that you want to break up, suggest that everyone calm down, and be sure to give a reasonable reason.
2, be sure to explain that there is no third party (if there is, you can watch and do it yourself)
In most cases, most people have a strong sense of morality, generally break up first and then look for the next goal, at this time, we must explain to each other that there is no third party and no one else intervenes.
3. Affirm all his strengths
Can you write a memoir that affirms his strengths, and after a breakup, why is the person who was broken up so upset?
Because, the process of love, completely different from ordinary friends and classmates and colleagues, is similar to the intimate relationship in the blood relationship in the family, but the couple, is not the intimate relationship of blood relationship, so, the disconnection of this relationship, the person who is broken up, will definitely bring the feeling of being denied hurt and pay in vain, so in order to reduce this harm, you must affirm the advantages of the other party, reduce the other party's unwillingness and resistance.
4. Explain why you are separated
The main reason can not exceed three points, absolutely can not exceed three points, absolutely can not hit the other party's physical and personality defects, in case the other party really has problems in personality and body, please hold back and do not say.
Pay attention to the fact that your reasons must be reasonable.
5, say a cause of force majeure
This can be had or can not be, but it must not be made up, or it must be based on the actual situation.
2. What if you are broken up?
If it is the party who was broken up who thinks, "Why, we were in love yesterday..."
So, please reflect on the fact that you are not generally dull, remember what we said in the first item?
All breakups are premeditated!
People have been planning for a long time, and you actually feel that the incident is sudden???
The more you don't understand why, the more you need to reflect, indicating that not only are you very poor in observation, but you are not good at dealing with the contradictions and conflicts of interpersonal relationships, which is quite dull for interpersonal relationships!
If you are broken up, calm down, do not rush forward and cry and cry to get back together or beg to kneel and lick.
Neither of these methods is advisable, and the correct approach is as follows:
Step 1: What you're going to say is, "Well, I feel a little abrupt, but respect your idea, let's calm down each other." ”
Stabilize the situation first! This step is very important!
What's the second step?
After stabilizing the situation, hurry up to review, see where the problem is, the problem that he usually does not think about, his clues must be well thought out, before and after, why should he break up?
But pay attention, don't repeat the failure, become a suspicious ghost, feel that everywhere in the world is "small three"
It is not to make you feel that the more you think about it, the more angry you are, and once again, I can argue better, and more than a few times, I can scold him for doubting life!
To give up this kind of childlike thinking!!!
The purpose of the review is to let you find the point where he gave up on you, the core problem that he feels unacceptable, find this problem, whether you correct it, or perceive more of his dark side, as to whether you want to compound or decide to let go, it is up to you.
Note that if you particularly want to compound, not to dwell on it for a while is the best way to do it.
For the specific compounding method, see my previous articles and pin articles
Marriage and love redemption four: the core dry goods of marriage and love breakup, true sex breakup and fake sex breakup
Marriage and Love Redemption Three: Your breakup, which kind of conspiracy has he planned for a long time?
Marriage and Love Redemption Five: Note that rational men and emotional men are two completely different creatures
Original dry goods: ten years of emotional counselor dry goods broadcast, how to save after a breakup? 10,000-word long text